Men Holding The Door Open

Usually when men hold the door open for me or let me pass through first, I feel very flattered as if they found me worthy to do something very thoughtful and nice.

But if men do not hold the door for me and purposely pass in front of me, I find it very rude. But at that moment, I told myself, why should a man feel obligated to do anything for a female stranger? What makes her so much more important than a man?

I hear people all the time who give us these elements of what a gentlemen is and how people see it as a loss if men do not hold the door open anymore. So, what is it about a female that deserves a little more treatment and favor than a man?
FashionQueen86 FashionQueen86
26-30, F
24 Responses May 14, 2012

I hold the door open for whoever is behind me. If the door is held open for me I say 'thank you' and pay it forward. I disagree with the use of the word 'worthy'.

That one old philosophy that states those capable should be held to higher responsibilities :p lol just kidding, we hold it for eachother too, it's just good practice.

True! Women should feel flattered and enjoy when a man stops to hold open a door. It's common courtesy.

Sadly, chivalry has been disrespected over time. It has been considered "insulting" or anti-feminist. I still hold doors for women but I do get my fair share of negative responses. So I see it not as one woman deserving more treatment then the other, I see it as men's affections towards our women have been criticized and some hold true to those values while others ask "what's the point?"

It's starting to become automatic for most people. If someone is behind you or coming to the door, it just feels good to help out, to show this person, whether male or female that you care somewhat.

I still feel it's respect for our women cause they work hard raising kids, working, and still some manage to take care of the house and cook dinner. The least I can do is hold open a door! Women can be some amazing people and as demonstrated by my own wife, they only get better if appreciated, respected, and receive random acts of affection themselves. I do not walk through a door before a women as it's not how I was brought up.

I think most men instinctively want to please and be courteous to women, whether it is our wife or a complete stranger. My wife definitely approves and encourages it on my part. I have had the opposite done for me, and i must say it brings a huge smile to my face and a sincere thank you. But i would much rather be the giver than the receiver. I have not yet met a woman who was offended by it. :-)

To some men, all women are nature's greatest accomplishment and such a simple gesture as holding a door open is the least we can do. May sound odd to some, but it is what it is.

I am a female. If I am entering through a door or exiting, I hold it open for others if others are walking through, be they male or female. I just think it's instinctive for me to do that common courtesy since I already have the door open for me, keep it open for them. Same with elevator doors.

Holding the door open for a person is a common courtesy that is sadly lacking these days it seems. It doesn't matter weather it's male or female. I'm just saying.

I can agree on that!

Chivalry isn't just went to the same place "being lady like" went...which left with the women's lib movement I believe

I do it out of respect and courtesy, that's the least i can do for you guys for being so pleasing to my eyes i guess :?

I am older, ancient actually, and we were taught as young men to hold the door for a lady. Now that I am older I find men and women holding the door for me. I think that means I'm old. It is a matter of whether you were raised with manners.

So doesn't that mean that you should also hold the door open for other men, not just women? Or what about women holding the door open for men? As long as we're discussing "manners."

If I get to the door first I hold it for whomever is behind me regardless of gender. I don't know if that means anything or not.

I am older too and was raised the same, but I still am impressed with a young man who is thoughtful of those around him.. and I still believe that part of being a man is feeling that a female deserves better treatment and more favor.

At the college campus where I work, it is the custom for whoever gets to the door first to hold the door for whoever is trailing behind. It is a mutual curtesy.

I hold the door open for people behind me regardless of their gender. I also hold the door open for others if it looks like it might be difficult for them to get it open.

TY Adam. your mama and daddy, raised you right.

You bring up an excellent point, but I'm too stuck in my ways to change now. Tbh, for the longest time I thought that's how I Had to be. Haha, I know better now but still do it.

The tradition of men holding the door comes from a time when the woman carried the baggage for the couple. The man was not burdened because he needed his sword to protect them both. He opened doors, and did other assists because she was burdened down carrying a heavy load. He risked his life for her safety. She was not a "princess" who carried no burden, like women today. When a feminist or other female goes back to carrying the load, she will deserve to have the door opened for her.

good point, i always old a door for a woman. i agree it rude if they dont

civility is an endangered species. this me, me, me world is just plain rude at times.
given the chance, i would gladly open a door for you. chivalry is NOT dead.
but hey, that's just me.....

After 160 years of females demanding "equality" its long overdue to let them have equality. She can open her own doors.

OUCH, that's rude, dude....

Are you saying, daguid, that equality is rude?

equality aside....
having manners and being gracious are more important than being, rude.

And what makes it having any more having manners if you hold the door open for women, but not for men? Are you saying women are physically incapable of holding the doors open themselves? That they are too weak, and therefore need a man to do it? That's actually kind of sexist, and may be the reason men were supposed to open doors for women in the past.
So you are actually being rude by being sexist.

1 More Response

lost art

"How dare you open this door for me! I suppose you think you are doing this because I am a lady?!"<br />
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"No, ma'am; I am doing it because I am a gentleman."

I remember once long ago I was walking through the mall on a date and stumbled upon another couple that were apparently in some sort of lifestyle arrangement. Not like I knew them or even talked to them, just that the subtleties were obvious if you happened to catch them. He would walk slightly behind her with his head bowed at all times. She would just barely flicker her wrist and point a finger and he would run ahead to do her bidding. Now I was raised in the south, it is just certain phrases that are what they are. Now in the south, It is not "Thank you" and "Sir", these are not two separate things, it is "Thank you sir". So we just happen to all be walking into the movie theater and she flicked her wrist, he ran ahead and opened the door, bowing his head to the door itself holding it open. It just so happened that he held it open for my date and myself as well. Passing by him I said "Thank you sir!". That was the only time I saw him ever raise his head, seemed he was disappointed I did not call him "boy".

interesting! She was quite likely a Domme... (or a serious wench)

Well yes, it was pretty obvious that yes she was a domme, it is just I am getting to a point in life where I am seeing such labels as being both, too negative in connotation, and too stereotypical to describe something that is more than the "whips and chains in a box" the media makes anything controversial out to be.

I think it's gentlemanly and shows respect and good upbringing. <br />
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I was on a work trip with a bunch of coworkers I had known for a long time and we worked some weird hours and hung out together afterwards. The guys opened doors for me all the time and I thought it was very chivalrous and polite. (My ex was pretty bad at this so I noticed lol). Really, it just shows consideration and there is truly not enough of that these days.

I make SURE I let men know that I appreciate it when they open the doors. Just kind of makes you feel special that they (especially) strangers, just kind of think of you, even if it's just a few seconds.

Exactly... courtesy goes both ways. I always thank them and it earns points with me ;-)

Amen. Your exactly right. Society has expected men to bow in reverence before women for centuries. In this time of feminist hatred of all things masculine, men are begining to ask why. Why should any man go out his way to do anything for women? This isn't hatred of women. This is giving women what they asked for. Equality.<br />
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I am a MRA. I support the marriage strike and MGTOW.

You are right; women have been fighting for equality and we should have it and it should go both ways.

uh, not to seem as being a dullard bot, what is MGTOW?

Men Going Their Own Way. Many men are starting to realise that marriage has little benefit for them. Divorce laws and family court laws are heavily biased against men. So they refuse to marry and have kids. This doesn't mean they swear of women. No not at all. They also realise that their taxes go to fund programs that are extremely biased against men. And that highpowered high salary jobs are not worth falling dead over your desk at age 50. They refuse to be a pawn to big business. They work average pay jobs and live simple. Lower pay means they pay less taxes. They live simple happy lives because they they refuse to be the the traditional protector/provider for women and the government. And they have as much or as little sex as they want because, thanks to feminism, there will always be "sexually liberated" women (*****). Some mgtow have long term relationships with women. But those women have to pay their own way. He refuses to pay for her. He expects her to act like an adult and take care and responsibility for herself.

Lets also remember some of those doors in the past were freaking heavy.

And some of those doors, women weren't allowed to pass through O_o!

Yeah, I was just being silly, but I was raised with the expectation of holding doors for women. I have done it many times. Often this is done in the situation of a car door and when the woman is dressed up, in a dress, heels etc. I think in this sense it is a respectful and appropriate thing to do, especially if you are on a date with that woman.
The stranger thing, I agree, who ever arrives first open the door and get over it, but there is something ok and respectful of a man who takes care of and assists the women he is with.
I think it is not about a lack of equality, I think it is about being respectful. What if the person, male or female is older? What if the person is a petite women of 23 with a small child? Can a woman or a man open that door for them?
Let’s not make rules that disallow basic helpfulness and respect. Lets not expect it always and lets not get offended if someone does or does not open the door.

When I'm downtown, there are a lot of elders who do need help, especially those in wheelchairs and other handicapped situations. I do try to open the door for them when I can

Historically, the idea was that women were weak and frail. Men were expected to do all of the heavy lifting. Also, women were more important than men in species preservation, since they carried a fetus to term and were primarily responsible for the care of babies and young children. Therefore, they were granted an elevated status. When there was a military draft, women were exempt. We couldn't risk having a childbearing individual killed in combat, now could we? Nowadays, we're seeking to ensure equality in the workplace and we don't have a problem with a dwindling population, so the customs of allowing women to precede men, of rescuing women before men, of allowing women to assault men but not the converse, and of keeping women from combat positions, may serve no useful purpose. <br />
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When my youngest child was in school, a teacher regularly placed all of the girls at the head of the lunch line--ladies first. The boys had about 10 minutes to eat, while the girls had nearly 25. When I spoke with the teacher about that, she said she liked the chivalrous custom of the boys allowing the girls to go first. I advised her that state law prohibited gender discrimination and that I would take action against her if she didn't stop immediately. I also advised the principal of my position. Fortunately, the nonsense stopped.<br />
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Whoever gets to the door first probably should be polite and allow others to pass through it. That's a basic courtesy. Gender should have no place in it at all. If the door isn't held, so what? Get over it. Women aren't handicapped. If we're all supposed to be equal, let's quit expecting preferential treatment of women by men.