I'm Not Judging Any Individuals Here

Before anyone comes and makes some harsh comments or blocks me or whatever, I need to make it clear that I am speaking of society in general here...not any specific people.  So don't think I'm bashing you or anything.

People are just becoming indecent and irresponsible these days...and I'm sick of it.  The main thing, although not the only thing, that I've noticed is sexuality...people think it's okay just to go and flaunt their sexuality like it's no big deal.

For one thing, there's the whole abortion issue...people are either pro-choice or pro-life.  Well here's the thing...I'm pro-choice AND pro-life.  Now I can understand if you're for abortion because of rape or sexual abuse or anything like that.  But in every other case of pregnancy, if the sex wasn't forced on you, you made the choice.  The woman made the choice when she had sex with the man.  If she didn't do that, she wouldn't have had a baby.  So now she has to suffer the consequences of being immature, irresponsible, and giving into her impulses.  Killing a baby is no way to get out of your own responsibility.  It's not the baby's fault that she got pregnant, it is her own.  Like I said, this does not apply in cases of rape or anything, so I can understand where you're coming from if you're talking about that.

It seems like everywhere I turn, I see something sexual.  I turn on the TV and see "Sex and the City."  Then I turn on the radio and hear some song by Akon called "I Wanna F*** You."  Then I get online on any social networking site (not necessarily EP) and see someone's profile with a half-naked avatar, and under "hobbies" or "interests" or whatever, it says something like "having sex"...and their entire profile has to do with sex!  SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!  Isn't there anything else that people can think about?  I'm not saying there's anything wrong with sex, but there is more to life!  I have interests too...like horseback riding.  But it's not all I ever talk about and think about!  Sexuality is a natural part of every human being, but that's the thing...it's a PART of you, not who you are!  You're not just some walking, talking penis or vagina!  You have a brain, use it!  Use your brain to make decisions, not your gonads!

I've made some comments relating to this issue on Ep, and people call me immature.  This makes no sense....I'M THE IMMATURE ONE???  I'm not the one going around wearing my sexuality on my sleeve!  Just to let you know, I'm in my "sexual peak."  Men go through their sexual peak in their late teens and early 20s.  I have sexual desires.  I have sexual fantasies.  I even **********, believe it or not.  I see scantily dressed girls, and I see hotties on TV and think, "Man, she would be so much fun to have sex with."  But I don't give into those impulses.  I'm more mature than that.

Promiscuous people go around and have sex with people carelessly, and then years down the road, when they have three unwanted children and five STD's they're complaining about why they have to be put through this.  I just want to slap them across the face and say, "Well, DUH!  You asked for it when you had all that sex!  If you had just used your head and not given into your animal instincts, none of this would have ever happened to you!"  But guess what...I don't say that, even though I want to.  That's because I'm not giving into my impulses!  I control my instincts and use my brain instead of my testosterone!

Then women go around wearing tiny little thongs and stuff.  They get tons of boyfriends, and all these guys want are sex...they don't care anything about the girl as a person.  Then the girl complains about, "Why are all guys such jerks?  They treat me like an object, not a human being!"  This also makes me just want to say, "DUH!!!"  If you dress and act like an object, you're going to be treated like an object!  Get some common sense!

I'm talking about mainly sex here, but like I said at first, it's not just that.  People seem to just be irresponsible in lots of things.  Another example would be drug and alcohol abuse.  People try drugs and alcohol, get addicted, and years down the road, they're homeless and unemployed saying that the world isn't being fair to them.  WELL DUH!   You're the one who took the pill or smoked the crack or whatever!  The world is being completely fair to you!

Why can't people just grow up and take responsibility for their own actions???

As I said before, I'm not picking on any individuals here, I'm just talking about irresponsible people in general.  So don't take this personally and try to bash me because you think I'm trying to bash you.  I'm not...I'm just freakin' fed up with this irresponsible, sex-obsessed society.

RopinTexan RopinTexan
22-25, M
69 Responses Aug 7, 2008

lol. I wouldn't argue with you if you wouldn't say things like consensual sex between adults is as bad as murder.

I don't know...I suppose you're just going to continue arguing with everything I say...so I don't think I should say anything else.

so what are you going to do about that?

I think you would be right...

I get the feeling RT has lived a sheltered life. He seems very naive and almost child-like. Even when he is being rude, judgmental, and offensive.

T...ah, but had we known then what we know now...but, the journey would not be what it is, now would it?...a good thing? a bad thing? we will never know for certain...SS

exactly SS. there is more than youth wasted on the young.

Can I weigh in here?<br />
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I remember having similar views about 20 years ago...but time and life humbled me...I learned that I know much less than I thought I did...and most importantly...people are doing the best that they can, otherwise they would be doing better...I know it sounds too simplistic, but it really is true...<br />
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Please don't fall into the trap of nostalgia and longing for the days when things were more simple, people were more wholesome and life was better...there is nothing going on today that hasn't been going on for thousands of years...the notable difference is the technology that allows us to see it more...we (humans) are no better or worse now than we were before...history was written by the winners and tends to full of more myth than fact...more wishful thinking than reality...<br />
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I applaud anyone who lives by moral standards and convictions that are not harmful to themselves or others...and it sounds that yours are based on on well-meaning ideals....I just ask that you try to have more compassion and empathy for the rest of us...walk a mile with us in our moccassins and maybe you will see why we do the things that irritate you...the motives that drive humans are complex and deep-seated...often not known even to the individual...pain is prolific in this life...reaching across the divide and loving one another is the solution...<br />
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Just a few things I've learned in my time on the planet...peace...SS

it's in the title:Not judging individuals...and then going on to judge individuals. think of some of your remarks to me. that i should have "known my husband was a wife beater before i married him", you comment to another that she wasn't commited to her husband because she wasn't pure BEFORE marriage. and others. <br />
these are judgemental and confrontational statements, arrogant assumptions of a prideful individual. or simply someone with little experience that needs to make an impression. either way it's pride.<br />
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stating an opinion is one thing, making a statement of personal values or faithful devotion and belief is not the problem. the offense is the phrasing that assumes you are the only one moral enough to make that statement about others and continue to pound it. <br />
that's offensive, it's hurtful, it's rude. in short... it's wrong.

you said: I'm a very moral person, and I wish others would be moral too. <br />
and: I base my morals on what God says in His word. <br />
I said:and wanting others to be as 'moral' as you believe yourself to be) is pride. <br />
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It's semantics...it's words and how they are used. It is pride. perhaps if your phrasing was not arrogant. as you have the right and the only right answer, then others would not be offended. but presuming to speak and act for god is more than simple arrogance...it is pride.

you just keep digging your hole deeper and deeper....or should I say, building your pedestal higher and higher. <br />
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"Sex could kill you too...if you get an STD." <br />
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But what does that have to do with murder?<br />
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"I know not everyone believes in my God...that's why I tried to use logic instead of religion in this story"<br />
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But you weren't using logic at all when you made that comparison.

ah...so now you know the mind of god. pride

I'm not moral because of my own personal choices...I base my morals on what God says in His word. It has nothing to do with me...it has to do with Him.

so is pride. as a matter of fact pride is the only sin that can't be beaten. so making moral judgements of others based on personal choice and personal values and personal morals . (and wanting others to be as 'moral' as you believe yourself to be) is pride.

Sex could kill you too...if you get an STD.<br />
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I know not everyone believes in my God...that's why I tried to use logic instead of religion in this story.<br />
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I know I sin...that's why I have Jesus to wash away those sins.

but we don't all believe in your god. So can we put that aside for a minute and take a view that everyone can agree with? Can we all agree that murdering someone is more drastic than having sex with them? One is consensual, one isn't. One ends a life, the other doesn't. <br />
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And if you think all sins are equal in god's eyes, then I will say it again: you are a hypocrite. You sin. You've probably sinned today already. So, if that's the case then it's all the more reason for you to stop telling others how to live.

The way they're related is that they're both sins in God's eyes.

here we go... you don't approve of pre-marital sex. ok... point taken...again and again...<br />
but don't go over the deep end, stay realistic. this is your opinion on what you want in your personal life. you can not (well you can but it really takes a massive leap and zero logic) equate sex and murder. <br />
these are the leaps and the repitition that offend, because they are bordering on the fanatic and the phobic. Some people may initally be amused. some may question the premise or the sourse or resource interpretation of your 'fact'. but when they are hard line reiterated again and again with nothing more than impassioned personal values and personal moral choices, it is offensive. "Judge not, lest ye be the one judged." i have looked for the premise that pre-marital sex andmurder are in any way connected by even the flimsiest of evaluations and/ or statistics and probabilities and I find nothing. so... sight a legitimate source that can be verified or add in it's your personal opinion.

No, it's true that sex is more common than murder. Intrepidtraveler and icygreen said it's strange that I hold those views, so I'm just saying that that's obvious but true.

what's true... that sex and murder are equal? in what alternate universe?

Well, it's obvious, but it is true...

yeah, I thought it was strange that no one else thought it was strange that he was comparing the two. I mean, really. That's absurd.

The fact that people were offended by a story on EP means the world is worse off than you thought it was? Really? What is it with you guys? Do you ever watch the news? I thought I was a pessimist. Everyone tells me I am. I feel like the most optimistic person in the world compared to some of you.

actually it is the phrasing and reptition that offends. (and just for the record.. married, female, mother, grandmother, godmother) simple answer to a lot of this. there are tuner buttons on radios, and tv, and you don't have to buy or go to a movie, or buy a cd if it offends you. I do it all the time. (i absolutely can't stand what passes as humor today so i don't watch, and for some odd reason it just doesn't come on my tv or radio... oh yeah...that tuner button)

Yeah, I think most of the people who were offended are non-virgins.

Wow. I'm honestly shocked that people would be offended by what you said....<br />
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I don't understand how you are wrong in any aspect here. If anyone is offended, they would have to be doing one of the wrongs you have mentioned. Which in turn would further prove you correct.<br />
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And then you put right in the first paragraph that you weren't attacking anyone! And people still get offended? The world is worse off than I thought.

I think the reason I'm so annoyed with the sex thing (as opposed to violence and all that) is because it's just so common. At least most people who have morals don't kill people...but not many people don't have sex. Sex is just much more common than murder.<br />
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I don't KNOW promiscuous people that you're talking about...I just HEAR about it and SEE it on TV.

"Promiscuous people go around and have sex with people carelessly, and then years down the road, when they have three unwanted children and five STD's they're complaining about why they have to be put through this."<br />
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Really? You know a lot of people like that? Where the HELL do you live? Because I don't ever want to move there. I have never met someone with 3 unwanted children and 5 STDs. <br />
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You say society is obsessed with sex, well you are a hypocrite. You are obsessed with sex. You're obsessed with other people having sex. You sure have a lot to say about the sex lives of others. I mean, of all the terrible things going on in this world...war, famine, greed, dishonest politicians, murder, rape, and not to mention the VIOLENCE in the media, which I believe is much more harmful than sex...of all these things and more, you choose sex to harp on. Now why is that? Is it because you don't have sex? I don't think it has that much to do with your maturity or self-control. I think it's resentment. <br />
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Oh yeah, let's compare having consensual sex to killing people. Very smart.<br />
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As a mother, I am sometimes annoyed with the amount of sex in the media. When I am exposed to it, anyway. You see, I've found simple ways to avoid seeing things I don't want to see: I turn off the TV. In fact, I canceled the cable. I listen to CDs instead of the radio. That way I control what i listen to and what I see, and i don't have to stick my nose in everyone else's libido.

Sleepless--that is exactly what I think. I've been celibate for almost 20 years...and I plan on staying that way until I get married and have kids. There's nothing unrealistic about it. I don't understand why it is so hard for so many people not to have sex. It's simple--JUST DON'T DO IT! It's just like any other thing you're not supposed to do...don't kill people. Sure, sometimes I feel like I want to kill someone...but I don't do it. Same goes with having sex. I've seen sexy women that I can imagine would be loads of fun to have sex with...but you know what? I don't do it! It's really that simple!<br />
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Eyes, I couldn't possibly agree with you more...other than the morality vs. religion thing. Most of my morality comes from my religion, but I tried to make this story as secular as possible because I know lots of people who read this story aren't Christians. Some of my morals aren't based on my religion though...a lot of it is simply common sense. If you don't want to have kids or STD's, don't have sex! It's a simple, logical way to think.

RT - I completely understand where you are coming from. I made the choice a long time ago not to have sex again until I met someone I would be willing to have a child with - I don't want kids at all, but I darn sure don't want them with someone I don't really care about or who doesn't really care about me. <br />
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I see my students at school, and all of this media about sex is affecting them. I have had a 14 year old girl go into labor in my class - in October - which means she was pregnant in the 8th grade - and the other girls were EXCITED about her having a baby. I've had one girl in 5 year who was proud that she is a virgin at 15, and the other girls ridicule her for it. The others dress like hookers half the time, and then complain when guys don't want to really get to know them. <br />
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I also understand when you are saying you are not judging anyone. You don't judge the individual people, you judge the whole societal acceptance of immorality (morality need not be based on religion - mine isn't). As my kids still say "Don't hate the pla<x>yer, hate the game." The "game" is what makes me sick -and I hate that so many people get sucked into it instead of learning how to make responsible decisions. <br />
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Personally, I'm not against sex - but I am against promiscuity. I think that it is a symptom though. As a whole society, we are being taught that our actions don't really matter, as long as we have fun. Its all about us, right here, right now. A lot of us learn otherwise and take care of our responsibilities, but the number of people who don't, who can't, or who just don't understand that they have responsibilities at all.... seems to me those people are spreading like wildfire. A lot of my kids have parents who aren't parents. They are out clubbing with their teenagers, drinking with them, giving them drugs. I had one poor boy who got called in during a drug search because his jacket smelled like pot because his parents had been smoking it at home. He talked to me afterwards about how much he hates it, and he doesn't know how he is going to pay for and apartment and college to get out of the house. It breaks my heart.

Actually, there is one form of birth control that IS 100% effective. This form is actually the main point of my story: DON'T HAVE SEX UNLESS YOU WANT KIDS. It's a very simple concept, yet some people make it much harder than it should be.

Personally I think its fine that you wrote this story as you obviously needed to get this out, and I understand your frustration, I dont think that you went to far as you werent attacking anyone in particular. And everyone is entitled to their views, opinions and feelings.<br />
I do agree with some things that you have said, and think that it is fine for you to have put your frustration out there. Well done :)

Thank you for understanding, Marji and Maisiedobbs.

"I'm not judging anyone" Yes, of course you are. And not only are you judging, you are making a big show of your judgement. You can do that. Its a free country. But you will have to deal with the people who you are calling out. Maybe that's what you want. I've found that a "live and let live" approach to life is much less stressful.

What I am saying Nick is That Sometimes it's Best to Just watch I am sorry if I come off wrong it's just Truth

I'm not judging anyone.

And another thing...this is more than just an opinion. Some of what I said is my opinion, but a whole lot of it is FACTS. Hard facts. Things that you can't disagree with...people get STD's and unwanted children from sex...that's not an opinion! It happens, whether you like it or not!<br />
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Besides, this is EP. You're supposed to express opinions here...and I'll express my opinions as many times as I want! If you don't like it, then don't read it!

If you agree with me, why do you have to make a negative comment?

Ok!! RT You have some good Points Just Expressing them Are ok Just This post and comment Went to Far. I am not going to Block or remove you because of this you Have your View it just so happens I agree. But you should state and leave it be. Don't Continue it. It's ok to have an opinon State it and Go on don't add gas to the Fire..

The only reason I'm going on is because people commented, so I'm simply responding to their comments.