It is the feeling of loss I guess. I hope you feel better.
I have lossed my wife to cancer and HIV, I now stay with another young lady and she is special it has been a year now but, every morning I wake up next to this woman who has helped me get through a tough time in my life, with a tear in my eyes for my wife who has passed because I miss her so much
it has been hard getting through certain holidays and missing her smile.