Session Three: I Am Not Feeling Very Christian Right Now
I am warning you, Dr. Nobody, I am in one foul mood right now.
*mocking tone of voice* Oh? *glares* I'm pretty fed up with a lot of things. Like, where do people get off whining and complaining about everything that's wrong in their life when THEY'RE the ones making the stupid choices and bringing it all upon themselves? That's like complaining about the President when you didn't vote... It just frustrates the skittles out me!
Why does it make you feel this way, Jessie?
I finally learned that if I'm the one who made the choice, I have to suck it up, deal with it, accept responsibility and move on. If I've gotta be mature about it, so should everyone else! I don't want to have you call me and whine about your on-again off-again boyfriend making you sad. Either make him on-forever or off-forever, then call me. You know he makes you miserable, so just leave him already. You've done what you can; leave it be and get over it.
*whistles* I can tell you're upset by this, Jessie.
Upset. Upset?! What kind words you choose, Dr. Nobody. You know, you baffle me sometimes. Don't you ever display passion about anything, at all, ever? If I came over there and kicked you in the shin, would you even bl
I am insane. I am having an imaginary therapy session with an imaginary doctor who feigns pain at shin-kicking. I could kill him right here, and he'd still sigh or groan or simply ask me how I feel about it. Do you know how this makes me feel?
How does that make you feel, Jessie?
AARRGH! I didn't know you could GO to school and learn to be a snide boogarface. I don't like you very much. Maybe if you were REAL... Oh, for crying out loud, you're a figment of my imagination. I could turn you into anything I wanted to. *poof*
*turns into Oprah* *huge grin*
I just wanted to tell you that I think you're the anti-Christ. Go away now. *poof*
*turns into my dead friend Zach, complete with face gone from the gunshot wound*
Ahh. Did I ever tell you I love you? I would have married you, but we were too close to killing each other, you with the machete and me with the butcher knives. It would have ended badly.
You think so?
Did you really want to kill me?
Wouldn't you? You were a raging, conniving b!tch. You were all over the place emotionally, physically, mentally--you were an absolute basketcase. Can you blame me?
This, coming from a psychic angelic vampire with a broken heart.
So that's where you want to go with th--
*turns back into Dr. Nobody, who proceeds to straighten his tie and re-cross his legs*
Yeah, I suppose you're the least imposing figment I've got right now.
And how does that make you feel, Jessie?
Unimaginative. *pulls out a gun and shoots Dr. Nobody in the face*