The Seventh Lesson - What You Think You Are Not

                The Seventh Lesson –  What you think your are not.

                This a recent lesson, again ties into self-esteem. It’s not what you are that holds you back, but what you think you aren’t.

                Countless times throughout my life I have settled for less because of perceived lack.  I wouldn’t pursue my dreams because I wasn’t smart enough, wasn’t good looking enough, wasn’t talented enough etc etc.   How many times I have thought, I really like that girl, but wouldn’t ask her out. Instead I would list all the reasons why she wouldn’t go out with me, I am short, I don’t drive the right car, I am ugly,  I don’t make 6 figures a  year, etc etc. Not once will I highlight the good things about myself, only the things I think I am not. This pattern has held true in everything I do not just dating, but all areas of my life.  Rarely has my focus been on my positive qualities – that I am a good man, that I am intelligent, that I am not ugly, I do make a good income,  ( I am short though J ) But you catch my drift; my focus needs to be on the positives, not the perceived negatives.

Smokeseek Smokeseek
36-40, M
3 Responses May 15, 2009

stop using ep to write the worst self help book ever <br />
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many people get held back not by what THEY are or what they are NOT but rather when they do things right and still come out on the you gussed it BOTTOM who go in persute of a career and get nothing but WRONG information <br />
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when they try to just work and no one will hire them no matter what they do <br />
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when people try their best at whatever and always fail

Thanks for the comment, I love this little truism, as quite often my perception of self is completely wrong.

Reading this reminded me of a quote titled "Our Deepest Fear" attributed to Marianne Williamson. I keep a copy in my office and read it often as a reminder to focus on the positives.