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The Eleventh Lesson - Being of Service

Lesson 11:  Being of service to others.

                                This is one lesson I am still learning.  I am a very selfish person in regards to my free time, plus I am socio-phobic and have great difficulty at times with people I don’t know. I tend to close down around strangers, and don’t make the greatest of impressions. But I cannot deny, that when I am feeling badly, when I am feeling the pangs of existential angst and my life seems to lack meaning, that if I can muster the wherewithal and get out of myself, that by donating my time to others precipitates and change in consciousness.  It forces me to set my ego aside and open myself up to others and be of service to them; to give of myself to those who may have little or nothing at all. It’s a realization that I have a lot of luxury problems, that I am in a good health, I have a home, I have food, my kids are taken care of etc etc. Being of service to others makes me see that I am not so unique and  that there are great number of others out there who have it far worse than I do, and by lending a hand, bending my ear or just smiling I might be able to make someone else’s day just a little better. In the process I will find myself and my outlook redeemed.
Smokeseek Smokeseek 36-40, M 25 Responses May 19, 2009

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Thanks flour, am sure there are many people whose lives are just.a little boit brighter because of your efforts, not to mention that internal satisfaction you must feel yourself. Thank you for underdstanding the spirit in whicj the story was written.

I liked it Smokeseek- I am of great service to people all the time!

Fed up ...I appreciate you comments, and I am in full agreement with you.

Thank You Drew.<br />
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Ques - yes I have "luxury problems" - I am not homeless, I am in relative good health, as is my family, I am employed, I have food on my table. I have friends, etc etc, but that does not diminish my struggles growing up with alcoholic parents, my own alcoholism, recovery and subsequent depression that I have been able to overcome. And yes my depression was horrible. My battle took me to the psych wards and suicide attempts over the course of 8 years. Until I finally got up and did something about it. What I did worked for me, and I share what works for me. I clearly say what works for me may not work for anyone else but me. <br />
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I understand Tulick all to well. And she is blocked for that reason. She may think and say what she wants about me. She can write whatever stories she wishes to counter my stories, it's a free country. I had plenty of personal emails back and forth attempting to explain to her I what I write is my personal experience. I never once suggested to her that she try anything I said. Everyone's journey is different. I share my experience, strength and hope. If anyone can benefit from it great, if not that's okay too. To Each Their Own.

I'm sorry to disagree Ques - but Tulick DID ATTACK in this thread and others.. She acts like anyone with a positive outlook on life doesn't have a clue about PAIN or DEPRESSION.. it's simply not true. It's in how we choose to look at these hardships that's the whole point of it all.

Good for you Smokey.... I can't spend anymore energy on this subject either.<br />
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~ peace ~

I wish to end this thread and any future threads from this biiter woman. I am blocking Tulick.

i did not give you a smart *** answer i refer to it so offten because otherwise i get the go flip burgers go do whatever you have to- forget that its phycsically impossible for me <br />
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i do think the hiring pactices aare discriminitory to EVERYONE not just me if you rememeber i believe i reffered you to my story in the group i don't tolerate bullshit read that story and tell me how its not <br />
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and as i said where do you get those positive happy moods where is that supposed to come from if you never catch a break you never get anywhere and its a fight to just fuction or try <br />
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its even more grating when you made all the right choices did all the right things you knew to do and you get nothing<br />
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if your compassion isn't faulty maybe its your approach

fedupinalabama first of all I AM NOT DISCRIMINITORY IN THE WAY YOU ARE THINKING NOR AM I A HATER NOR DO I COMPLAIN OF DISCRININATION <br />
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if you call what you gaave me compassion think again you read a handful at most of my stories and made a judgement about me you never asked what was behind it you never tried to understanb the author of these stories was told my story and now he sides with you even after knowing that i'm not a slacker i didn't make 15 life mistkes to cause myself to be in this mess did everything as right as i knew how depended on people who get paid to have the information paid to help and should have no hidden ajenda no other goal than helping pesons like myself suceed to fiill in the gaps and they LIED made every stupid mistake possible which i only found out AFTER <br />
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i still do everything i can to fix the mess that was made and i still get NOTHING then the author comes alongf writhing a mini self help guide and i point out the holes and they start out seeming to get it then all revert to thinking like you <br />
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SO TELL ME WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'VE DONE ALL THIS AND IT DOESN'T WORK <br />
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it also explans the moods and the stories if you think about it <br />
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what i hate is disfuction the disfuction of the basic systems that allow us to have lives <br />
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what i hate is when someone writes things like this and other people take it and run with it beating down the "negative miserble people" eating us all alive <br />
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I HATE how all these philosophies blame the person for their circomstnce whether thats true or not make it seem like they are in this place in life because they aren't open mined enough they are hard working enough and they are somhow deficant <br />
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the action steps are flawed too bercause the assume you can do the things to get that promotion (see lesson on dedicaation) without loosing their current job or have the means finacial or otherwise to branch out in whaterever it is they want <br />
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and it NEVER answers what you do when you've done all those things or the ones you can and nothing changes <br />
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explains the "no decent moods no decent stories" if you think about it- where is that supposed to come from if you never catch a break you never get anywhere and its a fight to just fuction or try <br />
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the people you speak of who've been abused misused beaten down and are not haters as you call them are either saints (some of them are) or they were able to move beyond the things that happened to them by gaining some sucess in life, a job, a postive relationship where someone said there would be none exc. but if you NEVER get that of course hey are going to be "haters"

Hey Alabama, I was of the same opinion as you. And I agree with you completely. I am simply ignoring them from this point on.

I am in NO WAY mentally disesed or disturbed because i know wat i know or because i think what i think <br />
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Neither am i egocentric as i am not th one using this site to write a defacto self help book for others to abosrb and follow- that would be you<br />
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I am perfecly capble of beileving people can rise above their struggles i just know doam well it isn't as easy as you make it out to seem in your minature self help book <br />
i know dmn well its not as easy as a mental shift or applying yourself more or whatever that sometimes what is needed is a social shift and i don't mean a chnge in freinds but a change in society and opportunties and hiring practices <br />
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i do not think myself termanly anything lest of all unique depression perhaps but not the kind your thinking of not the kind you think- not the kind you need a shrink for, not the kind you need to pop a pill for, but the kind everyone gets when life turns on them and not for the first time <br />
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Your right i wouldn't know what to do with happy, not because i am attaached to my misery but because happy never stays around lon enough to enjoy it,long enough to know- the next crisis, disappoitment, hurt or whatever is never far behind <br />
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then there's the issue no one willl adress you do all these things follow aall these things and what happens when NOTHING changes except the date on the calendar <br />
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Drew Berry- you asked me why i go "on the attack" when i see stories like this <br />
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thats because other people inevitably read them then i get the do something with your life lectures, the change your attitude sermans, the its all a perpective thing speeches <br />
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and yes i'm sick of it i'm sick of having made the right choices and gotten nothing, i'm sick of trying and trying and trying to no avail while people like this (who knows the story by the way) continue to go on and on w/ a list of steps that are either alredy being done or are impossible to do because of ciromstance

I agree Drew! Anyone that has a glimmer of hope for life, Tulick just can't wait to hate on them...I'm glad most people arent like that or I'd be a serial killer for sure! If I didn't try to be positive in outlook, believe me, my hatred would take over. And then it would be a bloody mess...My emotions are split between being angry or being happy..So I strive to be happy.

Tulick - why do you seek out stories written by people who have something positive to say and attack them?<BR><BR>You did this to MadMaximus not long ago, I've seen it in other stories as well, and now you are doing this to Smokey. <BR><BR>Once again you are on the attack of the author for 'disagreeing with your opinion', but in actuality, you are the one invading someone else's experience taking a big fat negativity **** here.<BR><BR>I have to wonder why you seek these stories of hope and inspiration out all the time. I do so hope you are looking for something of good to take away....

perhaps you are of those who are constitutionally incapable of happiness. Perhaps you suffer from a grave emotional or mental disorder preventing you from seeiing the light. At they very least though you are an egocentric woman who can not accept that others are capable of rising above theor personal struggles. You are a terminally unique and think you are oh so different from everyobe elsen but at the root of it all is garden variety depression. Personally i think you are so attached to your misery you wouldnt know how to be happy. You are a bright woman tulick, you can find your way. I have nothing left to say.

"We might not have control over external circumstances that shape us, but we are responsible for the way we live our life. Instead of beibg miserable and hating the world i am making a conscious choice to make the most of what i have."<br />
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wtf do you think i tired to do- you know how well that worked or should i say didn't

I m not responsible for your life being a mess.We might not have control over external circumstances that shape us, but we are responsible for the way we live our life. Instead of beibg miserable and hating the world i am making a conscious choice to make the most of what i have. Tulick you are allowed to be as miserable as you like. I wont stop you. But know that your misery is the example i will use to remind me of what i can be when i give up. Thank you tulick for being who are you :)

i know that THIS is true<br />
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and the unfortunstecy of that is it makes people sooooooooooo "greatful for what they have" gag me people lose ALL motivation to make anyhing- here's a thought BETTER <br />
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speaking of being of service be of stop feeding the positivity trolls <br />
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And i tried everything i knew to do to have a happy **** functinaal life and YOU know how that turned out

oh yes and your happiness is so evidenet Please bless the ignorant masses with your knowlege and wisdom.

oh yes and your happiness is so evidenet Please bless the ignorant masses with your knowlege and wisdom.

oh yes and your happiness is so evidenet Please bless the ignorant masses with your knowlege and wisdom.

not really just know more about this than you do

You are a very thick headed individual.

and the people who don't agree with this get whaat nooses round their necks <br />
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do the world a favor and stop making thing wrose for people who've already been there tried that and it didn't work and when they look back up at the oricals od wisdom and say what now it they have nothing to say- much like you

Never Tulick. I will continue to write as I see fit. If you don't like it, tough, don't read it :P

and the unfortunstecy of that is it makes people sooooooooooo "greatful for what they have" gag me people lose ALL motivation to make anyhing- here's a thought BETTER <br />
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speaking of being of service be of stop feeding the positivity trolls