A Second Chance

M y life should have ended two years ago.  I, as I have shared on other groups, have had an eating disorder in the past- a combination of bulimia and anorexia, known as purge type anorexia.  I overexercised and cut back to a maximum 400 calories per day and then worked off at least 700 calories each day.  I spent my free time in the gym on all the wrong machines and ended up destroying my stomach muscles.  Over a short period of time I lost seven stone and was severely underweight.  I of course, saw nothing wrong and decided that I was still fat and needed to loose weight.  I truly could not see a true image of myself in the mirror, I concentrated on the flaws. I went to work as an aid worker in Africa- the day prior to going, my yellow fever injection started to attack my lack of immune system and I was advised if I continued on my trip I would not make it home alive.  Being stubborn, I went anyway.  I worked in a slum city outside Kenya and in a orphanage for those suffering from Aids and HIV.  On the second day, one of the older girls at the home started talking to me about my see through skin and my lips being dried out and my thinning hair.  She asked if i was there to get better, as other people had went there to get better from malnutrition.  This proved to be the wake up i required, but not enough of one as within two days my immune system collapsed and I had to return home, on a flight that i was given for free, due to how much my appearance scared the flight operator officestaff.  My body was rejecting all food and drink, i was blacking out, I could not sleep and I was diagnosed with anorexia officially when I got back; but was told that i was in effect attempting a form of suicide in trying to fade away.

Two years later, I am at my healthy weight - i eat.  I have had surgery to correct what I have destroyed - namely stomach muscles and the like.  I have a completely new and improved life.  Not only was I given a second chance, but the firm foundations to ensure that I would have faith in the second chance.