Eeyore's Epiphany of Undeserved Grace

Gratitude is something that I have always said I believe in, but I haven't practiced it very much.  I habitually mope around and complain about everything. 

Every once in a while I try to get myself back on track by reading something positive and uplifting.  My favorites are: Divine Principle, Power of Positive Thinking, A Course in Miracles, the Bible (thanks and praise verses) and more recently, The Secret.  I've been listening to the book version of The Secret on CD from the library.  (Thank God and Marion the librarian for Public Libraries!)

The section on gratitude got me thinking, so I dug out my gratitude journal to count my blessings. 

I don't know why I have been so blessed.  They say that you shouldn't complain, have a negative attitude or mope around all depressed.  But that's what I've done all my life.  My mom even called me Eeyore; and that is what I became.  It started out as a cute family joke, but over the years it has taken on a really dark side. 

The amazing thing is that I've been blessed even though I complain and mope around all the time.  Maybe the few days a year that I consciously practice gratitude have a long-term immunizing effect. 

Looking back over the last 28 years of my career, I realized that I have been incredibly blessed. Blessed financially, blessed by mentors, opportunities to learn and jobs in a great and caring industry. 

I really have no reason to complain.  I should be dancing in the street, whooping and hollering, and praising the Lord for His abundant grace.  Because that is what it is--totally undeserved grace. 

My Epiphany: I was shocked to realize that the very things I have complained about the most ended up being the biggest blessings for me. 

I stress so much about being "worthy".  I realized last night that my habit of neglecting my possessions goes back to me feeling too unworthy to have these nice things.  It's like medieval parents dressing their kids in rags so the devil won't notice them. 

So my very nice, fully loaded car with GPS and everything never gets washed or vacuumed.  The trunk looks like a homeless person lives in it. The windshield wipers steak like crazy because I never change them.  My house and office are overflowing with clutter. It's so depressing! 

Being "Worthy" doesn't matter.  (So stop worrying about it!)

Someone or something out there loves us.  Whoever it is love us enough to bless us in spite of ourselves. 

This is Grace.  Undeserved love and blessings showering down upon us.

When you are vibrating with love, the universe wants to resonate with you.

So Hum baby, HUMMM!

curtis721 curtis721
51-55, M
2 Responses Aug 9, 2008

I liked your experience thanks! Honestly, 'the immunizing affect of positive thinking" is exactly what I got out of it!

curtis721, I loved your story. Great insights, especially the fully loaded car with the bad windshield wipers. I have been de-cluttering for about 11 years. I've made slow, but steady progress. My house is in pretty good shape now with the exception of 1/2 the laundry room and most of the garage. I don't buy anything unless I know where I will put it when I get home. Your story is right on the money.<br />
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Hey, speaking of love and blessings showered upon us, my 5-year-old just brought in a flower for me. The first one in the whole yard. Happy Spring!