I dont know what to call this feeling. Jealousy? Anger? Or just pettiness. This issue is me not being okay with my best friend fine with out ex- friend who has done us wrong multiple times in the past. I cant get over the hurt and pain that has haunted me for years. And pretty much refuse to. And I dont understand how someone can just keep forgiving a person who clearly doesnt get what he does and how to redeem himself with his so-called "best friends".
I almost feel like that if this guy gets back into my friends circle of trust again, I'll be alone. And I doubt I can deal with that. I like having someone to talk to about my hatred for this person with someone who feels the same way. And if that person is gone, I'll be left to feel almost foolish. Which I shouldnt feel because I know why I feel the way that I do.
Apparently, the ex friend had his baby today with his girlfriend and im almost led to believe my friend went to the hospital to visit him and his girlfriend. Which sadly I would be hurt about. Kind of almost jealous. Because like I said, he was at point my BEST friend for almost half of my life and we basically grew up together. I always thought we would be around each other for things like this. And now that we are not, it feels like I am missing out, to be totally honest.
I cant really blame my friend for wanting to be there for our ex, because we all used to be almost a family, but I just couldnt bring myself to it. And it would be unfair for me to be upset with her. So I guess I just have to figure out this feeling for myself and sort it out. It sucks. But this is where we are in our lives at the moment and I have to deal.
LetsBeHonest LetsBeHonest
22-25, M
Jan 8, 2013