My Girls’ Father Lost His Mind

I know that this is not technically a death, but it feels very similar. My girls’ father recently lost his mind to drugs, mainly bath salts and excessive drinking(he’s been in 6 different rehabs the past two years). When I saw him the other day, he could barely speak and did not make much sense. I was married to him for four years; I know when he’s on drugs/drunk, and believe me, he was sober the other day. His mind has been slipping away lately, and I doubt he’ll come back fully. He was highly intelligent when I met and married him; received honors in the Navy, got early promotions, etc. Now it is as if he is mentally retarded, all the time. My four year old daughter could tell he was not right in the head; she began to cry suddenly. He tried to comfort her but he could not speak right. This made her cry even harder.
I’ve been crying the past few nights over this. I do not love him in a romantic sense, I never really did. It’s heartbreaking to see my girls’ father and know that he is mentally gone. People have asked me, “Why don’t you tell him that you are worried, that his mind is truly gone?” Why the hell would I ever say that to someone. I think he is aware enough to know he is mentally off.
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1 Response Jul 19, 2012

I'm sorry Bavarav. I'd like to tell you a little story. You, I and he are artist. Your art is your story. The story we tell is created by our mind but you are not your mind. The story our mind creates has never been told before because there has never been an experience exactly like the one we are each experiencing because there has never been another YOU. You, I and he are much greater than our minds. We are the quiet observer. The creator. We are, at our essence are all one. I know you know this because I know you have read some very good books from Chopra and Tolle. The quiet observer has no preference for the story we each tell. It is all beautiful. To prove this think about the saddest movie or book you have ever watched or read. As you think of this you will see the beauty of the story. Yes it is filled with horrors. Yes it is filled with tradgedy but in this there is also great beauty. So it is with your Ex. His story is sad but the quiet observer within him sees the beauty of the tradedy. <br />
From his story you can learn, your children can learn and in so doing good can come from his experience. There is beauty in all things, we must find a way to see it. Perhaps his purpose is to teach his children by example and they will never repeat the story your ex is telling. There are no mistakes. Nothing ever happens that is not supposed to happen. It is the way.<br />
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I wish you well,<br />