Should've Died That Night

It was in March when i tried to commit suicide. I was riding in the car with my girlfriend at the time and her family, we had just separated ten minutes before and I was slowly realizing there was nothing left for me. My family was broken apart, school was torture, i was giving into my urges  (but thats a story for another time), and the only thing that was keeping me stable was her. The gravity hit me hard and i threw myself from the car. I felt the blows of the road hard and fast, hearing the car screeching and then feeling the head lights of the car. I was prepared to be ran over but then i heard the car stop just a few inches away. On my way to the hospital, i realized how this was affecting everyone in my family and in my ex's family. If i had died then my ex wouldn't be scarred for life, having to see me every day and acting as if i was a ghost. My father wouldn't be terrified of letting me into cars. My brother wouldn't flinch when i touched the door of the car. I should've died that night. I'm guilty of ruining my family and friends' mental stability around me, including my own