Should've Died That Night

It was in March when i tried to commit suicide. I was riding in the car with my girlfriend at the time and her family, we had just separated ten minutes before and I was slowly realizing there was nothing left for me. My family was broken apart, school was torture, i was giving into my urgesĀ  (but thats a story for another time), and the only thing that was keeping me stable was her. The gravity hit me hard and i threw myself from the car. I felt the blows of the road hard and fast, hearing the car screeching and then feeling the head lights of the car. I was prepared to be ran over but then i heard the car stop just a few inches away. On my way to the hospital, i realized how this was affecting everyone in my family and in my ex's family. If i had died then my ex wouldn't be scarred for life, having to see me every day and acting as if i was a ghost. My father wouldn't be terrified of letting me into cars. My brother wouldn't flinch when i touched the door of the car. I should've died that night. I'm guilty of ruining my family and friends' mental stability around me, including my own
LovelessInViva LovelessInViva
3 Responses Sep 11, 2011

think many can understand thiose feeling but for some reason some of us are sent back

yeah.. i hope i can figure out why

everybody around needs you. You will be happy. You will see. Sun will shines for you and for all people. You will love and will be loved. Just smile and love.

Thanks. I hope i can smile more

I know this is gonna sound fake and everything, but when you fail at losing your life, though I know for a fact it seems like what is necessary at the time, it's a gift from God to experience life again. It takes awhile and others around you may be hurt but gradually, things will happen that will make you glad you're alive. :)

Thank you very much. it is hard to accept that truth but i do apperciate your words.