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My Friend Got Raped Because of Me

I was 15 years old. We were about to move to a different country so My brother and I threw a huge party and the whole school was invited. I rented a bar with bowling lanes and a big room for dancing, It was awesome. Before the party started I had a conversation with my friend Natalie. She liked to drink and party so I told her that I will be watching her so she doesn't do anything stupid and nobody does anything stupid to her. It was my party and I was responsible for everything that happens there.

The party started and a lot of people came. I was dancing with my friends and we had a lot of fun. I got into a fight with my best guy friend Sam because I wasn't paying attention to what was going on. The door opened and like 15 people walked in. they were Russians, I knew them from around the city but they weren't invited and they weren't friends of mine. Sam wanted me to kick them out but I thought "more people = more fun" so I let them stay. Which was a very bad idea.

My friend Eve came up to me while I was dancing and she turned my head to Natalie. Natalie was drunk and danced with one of those Russians and he had his hand in her pants. I know I should have done something but I just ignored it. How stupid of me. Hours later two guys from my class Alex and Bastian walked up to me and told me that Natalie and that Russian guy just left. It was shocked. I ran outside but it was dark and I couldn't see anything. I kept screaming her name and Alex and Bastian helped me looking but everything was quiet. I returned to the party, shut the music off and told everyone to go look for Natalie. Most of them went outside and searched but without success. I lost it and kicked the Russians out. They were pissed but they left. Sam was standing next to the exit door and said something like "get out of here!!!!" one of the Russians punched him in the face. I still remember Sam walking around with an ice pad on his cheek, it was kind of funny. And then the Russians threw a huge rock into the window. Which pissed me off even more.

After that a pig panic broke out, all the 50 people who were still partying went crazy, the guys started to steal booze and get really drunk and the girls were crying on the floor because they were worried about Natalie. A friend of mine was sleeping downstairs on the bowling lanes, my brother and his friends came downstairs and what do they do...........Bowling, stupid stupid. I had a long talk with my brother after that. My friend Katya who was Natalie's best friend had a break down she was lying on the floor and crying like crazy. Natalie came back hours later and Katya slapped her. Natalie didn't know what happened and she didn't want to tell us, she was still drunk.

At 6 am everyone went to sleep. Some of them went home, some slept downstairs at the bowling lanes and some slept upstairs. My brother and his friends stole more alcohol while we were sleeping and then they broke the picnic table downstairs. We had to be out of that bar by 9 am because we only booked it for 1 night. After we kicked everyone out Sam and me started cleaning. Natalie went home in the morning and I haven't talked to her since then.

GrueneRose GrueneRose 22-25 23 Responses May 11, 2007

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The idea of rape always tends to be somebody else's fault but the very monster who did it. Now, I agree that maybe you could have had MORE control over the party. To invite the whole school was asking a lot and you can't watch that many people. This really should have been a private party. But that Russian guy made it his goal to get exactly what he wanted out of her and that was her body. He knew exactly what he was doing and he was a big low class jerk. Natalie also has to take some responsibility as she chose to get miserably drunk to the point where she could barely make rational decisions.

see you havne't talked to her , it may not be a rape
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Mabye your not such a good friend..

i feel so sad take to her and find out what happen

i can see how u have so many mixed feeling . . . . . I just hope u for give ya self for stuff u have no idea wi u blame ing ya self for . . . U were clumsy yes but thats not the whole story " u were just a dot in the painting "

well i think that it wasnt her fault because people like to dance like that with boys hands in girls pants that is all to it

It is not your fault that it happened. She was supposed to be responsible for herself and beware of her surroundings. She decided to let the dude touch her which led to other things..... I do think that you should try to talk to her though.... You may be beating yourself up over some mistake she has forgiven you for but I do feel that if you overcome that hurdle of not stay her friend things will get better for the both of you over time.

Russians are savages. This shouldn't be a surprise.

You are a nice man - dont worry buddy - It's not your fault- you have a good heart and please dont feel guilty - Try to get something positive out of this - How is she now? take care

You, are definately, most likely, not responsible for her getting raped, no one can say you are in charge of her, only her parents are responsible for herself. And if she wants to get her dumb-*** drunk, especially when there are creepy *** strangers then that is called for Rehab (no offence). But, I am very sorry for her parents, and deffinately for herself.

not your fault at all! everybody gets exactly what the deserve exactly at the right time not a little less or a little more but exactly.<br />
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guilt & fear the religion weapons to control you away from the way God created!<br />
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Go in peace and love you friend!

the fault is not your or your friend is real the ones that rape her . drunk or not drunk they should know better to rape .. they the ones who will live with it , it will never leave them ,their life will be worthless until they do right ..when a female or male says stop , STOP ... DON"T RAPE......that is a no no in God law ......

well I guess I should have added this to the story but she also had bruises and poinson Ivy marks on her inner thighs

im sorry to say this but how do you know that she got raped???

Yeah thats completely true, I read your story over and over but you never mentioned how you found out she was raped!!!

I feel sorry for you that you had such a responsible heart and mind that you couldn't do anything to protect Natalie.<br />
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I think in a crowded environment the one thing a person really seems to have little of is control because multiple interactions and quantum mechanics. there are attractions emotions, precipitations, karma and all these interactions occuring at the same time.<br />
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What happened was certainly not good. I been at a party where a guy i knew abused a woman but because i was slow on the take i couldn't do anything to stop it. i wasn't sure if the girl liked him or not either its hard getting between a man and a woman when your not sure of the dynamics between them. sometimes its a mutual want so its not easy to interfere.<br />
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the fact that natalie allowed this to progress to the next stage tells me she consented rather than rape having occured but still when your running a clean party you will surely feel somewhat responsible.<br />
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rape is when something is beyond consent so im not totally clear about this.<br />
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i believe your heart is in the right place and for me i admire you having to bring forth this story that has hurt you so much. what i can say for sure is your heart seems like its in the right place.

She allowed the hand down her pants, but the whole point of RAPE is that you try to STOP IT AND IT STILL HAPPENS. That's what makes it nonconsensual. What happened when she left isn't really clear, but if she actually was violated, shame on you people for saying she had a say in it. No one asks to be raped.

If this story is true. all i can say teenagers should not be drinking alcohol. these<br />
are the consequences. boy or girl, 'this could be you.' Take care

Your tale does not add up; you said your friend was raped but according to your story she 'didn't want to tell you anything' that night and you 'haven't talked to her since'...so when would you have had the chance to hear from her own mouth that she truely got raped...is it possible that you are fabricating facts from thin air?

i reaaly dont see how she got raped and thats not that intersting but i kno you said that she did but i dont see how but i feel sorrt for her and when you saw the Russain puting his hands in her pants you should hav stoped him

Drinking and good judgment seldom share the same story.

what happend with her after that??<br />
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how is she now?

you can't take the blame for her situation .I used to go bar hopping and of course we'd try to look out for one another but really you have to watch yourself .after afew drinks I'd actually be on a table dancing with a male ******** ihave done so many things that wasn't me .But i'm the mom of 3 girls and I will tell you just like i plan to tell my girls only you can protect you self and friends can only help so much .

Well I know and you know some one should have been looking after her but it is her fault she got that drunk to let it get that far. Don't beat yourself up over it. If anything she should be thinking of toning her life down a little. You have to forgive yourself because obviously you are taking in a lot of the blame.