I am so gutless. Thanks to my love life or the lack thereof.. my low self esteem.. the addictive self pity and the envy of others. I am no sadist yet I become very sad whenever others do well than me. It sucks but I am simply trying to be as honest as the movie- the invention of lying. I know that somewhere I am sacrificing my relations with others for a moment of peace, a moment of self respect and a moment without the guilt.

I know it doesn't make sense without a context but trust me I have been over and over it in my head that it's such a pain to write it down.

Am i so unlovable? I don't look at a third person when he's checking me out.  I am gutless and it is taking a toll on my personal and professional life.

eveningwanderer eveningwanderer
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 10, 2010

You're spending too much time rattling around inside your own head. Go outside, go for a walk, look at the grass, the trees, and the sky. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. Breathe in slowly, fill your lungs, and then exhale all that negativity.<br />
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We all tend to carry around so much crap, so much baggage, and we forget that all we have to do is put that load down and walk away. Who you are has nothing to do with the load you choose to carry.<br />
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And, whatever you do, don't forget to have as much fun as you can.