This Is How I Got Infected

In 2006 I broke up with a man who was very afraid of contracting HIV , even thou we used condoms He made us go for HIV tests every 3 months. I left him because of his failure to committ to me and marry me. Then in 2007 I met this wonderfull guy (let's name him: Alex)  with a heart of gold, my heart just melted at the sound of his voice. He loved me from top to bottom and if he he had told me he'd swim over the ocean for me I swear I would have believed.

Then the time for us to take our relationship to the "next level" came... He just got into the bed without a condom, so I asked him what he was doing. So he told me He's not just a fan of condoms... (I should have known that day he wasnt a man responsible enough to have me). I had just completed my degree in Accounting and Finance and this was my second year on a job I loved so much and this irresponsible man comes along? no ways. So I told him to condomise as long as I dont know his status. He did but later on I realised i was wet and that's when I knew He had secretly removed the condom.

It turned out I didnt know much about this man when a friend told me how she has heard he had many lovers. So i told him to go get an hiv  test, we went together and the results were negative. NEGATIVE?? what a beautiful word that was for us because we quit using condoms and we enjoyed each other. But the leaopard never changes his spots! he cheated and cheated and cheated, and to this i forgave and forgave and forgave until one day I realised enough was enoung and I left him in septermber 2008.
In november that same year, maybe for loneliness reasons I met and dated dating a handsum young man (eventhough I knew i still loved Alex). My new beau made us go for the hiv test before hitting the road...luckly it was negative but we decided to have protected sex anyway. Meanwhile Mr Alex was pleading, crying, nagging...about how he was a changed man and had learned from his mistake and wanted to marry me. Because of his constant nagging and threats he made to my sweet young man, my young man asked me to choose...and to his suprise I chose Alex and that was in february 2009.

We didnt waste time and we were married in two months.. and 11 months later I was dignosed with HIV.. my cd4 count was 460 and the viral load 15000 copies... I used to blame myself always about why I took back Alex and marry Him without even getting tested... but then I said to myself: I cant change the past but I can change my future so I will continue to look after myself and love my husband like he deserves coz yesterday is gone and will never be reversed!

Amanda2010 Amanda2010
26-30, F
8 Responses Oct 22, 2010

Love is a strange beast. I was infected by someone I knew was HIV positive. I forgot - I just forgot his status - as if I didn't want to remember. Still don't understand it.

Stupid ***

Well you knew he was messing with other women! Now you are living sick taken meds everyday and you can't have kids cause they will come out with hiv! He go with men and thats how he got hiv. Its hard for a women too give hiv too a man. Hes on the downlow! Get the book on the downlow

I'm sorry to inform you , but she probably loved and trusted him , and no one can be blamed for that. Please get your facts straight she can still have children and babies born to HIV poz women are almost always negative with proper treatment. My situation is very similar except my fiancé kept his bisexuality a secret, I would have never known if I didn't investigate. Bad things happen to good people everyday , I feel very fortunate to have gotten tested and found out early.

Wow, your have a big heart, I don't know that I could be so forgiving and move ahead as you did. I give you a lot of credit Amanda.

Thanks theFridge. When you forgive someone the most person you doing a favor to is yourself. You can never live a life filled with joy if the back of your heart is filled of hatred and unforgiveness...your soul and your human spirit is always conscious about it and will keep reminding you about it

MedicalAnthropologist11, OK... WILL DO SO

Hello! I am a Medical Anthropologist and NP at Emory University, I would love for anyone and everyone to participate in a brief survey! the HIV/AIDS community of Atlanta and beyond will much appreciate your responses.<br />
Thanks! James<br />
<br />

I read your story and it reminds me of my own situation, thank God you have someone to love, do not dwell on the negative just forgive and enjoy your life with your husband.<br />
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Imagine my ex fiance infected me when he had already known his status and was on /off ARV's he only mentioned when it was too late, its very selfish but i forgave him and moved out to live alone, im on ARV's and i must say i look very healthy and i look forward to finding someone special to share my life with. <br />
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life is precious !

Purityrose, thanks a lot. I hope you find your special someone soon :)

Dear Amanda2010:<br />
<br />
Thanks for your kind words. They made my day, and put a smile on my face.<br />
<br />
I read your story, and I am so sorry to hear you are HIV+. It's tough, but it makes a person value life a lot more. Also, I am glad to hear you have met and married a wonderful man. Love one another as much as you can and never go to bed angry at one another. I have been with my negative partner for 19 years and counting. He is my rock and my best friend.<br />
<br />
Take care and know you are loved.

Thank you sir