Today I Chose to Live.

Today I chose to live. Not every day can I say that. I have been lucky because I have may children to make me fight to live. I have a job. Which like all jobs has its good and bad. But with that being said somedays I want to scream. My friends and support are there and here. I was lonely and didn't do much but work and take care of my family and mostly did things with my husband and the kids. But now that he is in the prison system. i am here to fight this fight alone I can't understand the many things that i am going threw. I have looked into other websites that said that the offered you a place to talk with other but all that they were pick up sites. I have no desire to do anything with anyone. I just need to say how and the world did I lose so much so fast and have someone understand. Change my life. I know that living with this is not easy. But with God's grace and mercy I will live. So today that is my choice maybe not tommorrow.

ldmongo ldmongo
41-45, F
17 Responses Jan 29, 2008

I wish hiv and all other stds/stis didn't exsist. It's just too unfair. You don't even know who has it/had it.... he could be the most nicest or most handsome and caring guy in the world.... and somehow he's off limits... : -( How's that for just trying to be.... I don't know finding a mate? Or love?

I thank you for your words.. I recently found out that I was pos. I wanted to kill myself I am only 22 and I thought I would not have any quality of life, you have helped to encourage me and I have hope that I may not live forever BUT i can live whatever life I have left ... I thankyou because u just made one less suicide victim
I thank you so much

New info. Three names for "God"<br />
1. God<br />
2. Allah<br />
3. YHWH<br />
<br />
We are all people of the book, the Koran, Bible and Torah.

If you look after the days, the months and years will look after themselves! :)

I am living with the virus.That dark days has passed.Today we can live .Thanks for GOD.


When I was younger and was still an avid Christian, I was talking to my friends about Jesus when one of the boys in our class, called mohamed, said
"I know who Jesus was, he was a prophet!"
"no, he's gods son!" I replied, rather heatedly.
"no, he's a prophet!"
"gods son!"
"god's son!"
This eventually esculated to god and Allah, and then to physical violence. Eventually the teachers got envolved and had to drag us both, kicking and screaming, apart.
I came home crying that day, and when my dad asked me what was wrong, I said
"dad, Mohamed is so wiered! He doesn't believe in god!" and then the whole story came pooring out. At the end of my story, I looked up to see my dad was trying not to laugh. I was really hurt! My dad wasn't taking me siriosly! But then he told me two things that changed my life forever;
1. This is the sort of thing wars are started over C*****n, and men die to defend their side!
2. Allah, translated into English, is actually god.

Live..because He lives and you can face many more tomorrow with peace in your heart and joy in your soul. Come what may, God still welcomes us home and let Him take over when you can't handle. Never give up hope in God and be angry with Him. I am learning to give more of my time to share my experience with others. No longer I feel like a victim but live a life like a victor. Be positive. I am sure your life will be just great.

I know sympathy isn't the kind of support your looking for, but I deeply am sorry. I do not have HiV/Aids but I do have to live the rest of my life with Herpes which in a few ways have much simularities. I don't want to upset you by saying that because I do understand it is NOwhere near the same. But I do know the depression, the shame, guilt; the what if's. So, no, I can't empathize with you on every level but I can express my grattitude for you. Grattitude for the courage that I couldn't fathom. The courage it takes to try as hard as you can to live "normally". This disease shouldn't exist. Nobody desearves it and I'm sorry. But Thank You......

It is ahrd to deal with and understand your reactions to being POZ. I know, been there, done that!<br />
<br />
You can try an online HIV chat room like that will protect members from sex seekers (monitored room)

your doing exactly right by dealing with today... what do we have today Lord... what can I give you to handle today Lord... Today as a free person I am free to choose to live hell yea... I love you

Sometimes I want to scream out loud too, and you know what I go out into the garden and shout :) It feels good to get it all out.<br />
I found out Im positive recently, its a hard thing to deal with but I know that Im living with HIV not dying of it and wellness is a state of mind think strong be strong. <br />
Love and Peace and luck.

Thank you of you for your words of encouragement

You always have something to say that is deeply inspiring. I shall take your example and try to live one day at a time also. That's what we all should do. <br />
And remember, you are not alone. I am proud that you are my friend.

*hugs you tight* You totally rock and I am honoured to call you My friend xxx

dear person: I'm glad you decided to live. Today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. My small front yard is snowed in...the snow sprang the gate. I have to live another day to get the gate dug out so I can try to find my way to live tomorrow.<br />
Of course, the dog peed on the rug rather than brave his short undercarriage dragging in the snow for a let-go. So I can live today by using vinager and water to clean that up. Sometimes all we can do is what presents itself in the moment. <br />
<br />
I hope today will bring something that pleases your eye, your mind, your pocket, or your circumstances.

Maybe my little advice to read a book will help you or change your life or maybe have no effect whatsoever. I'll try.<br />
<br />
Robert Stone "Celestial 911"

welcome home. Thank you for sharing.