Scared And Lost

I just got told I tested Positive. I am so scared right now. I have no clear words to express how I feel. I feel hurt, angry, scared, confused, and sad. I am marrried and have children. They are all I think about. I have to take another test to confirm results. So many thoughts racing through my mind. I have that perm feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I keep thinking if its true, how long do I have. I want to walk my kids down the aisle...I have never been so scared....this hurts so much
dawiseguy23 dawiseguy23
31-35, M
5 Responses Dec 3, 2012

Dawiseguy23 I know how alone u feel, I was diagnosed a monthe ago, I too felt scared, vulnerable, frustrated, and the nly ppl who know is my gp and one mate who is also a gp and who told me I was positive. One thing that helped to calm me down was researching HIV, it gave me a better understanding of what is happening, what time frames of stages, and the terrific advances in medical treatments. I know u feel scared that ur quality of life or length will diminish but it will not. Yes u will have to eat and live healthy but everyone should. HIV IN MODERN TIMES WILL NOT SHORTEN UR LIFE SPAN! This has been proven! I am an emergency nurse studying to be a doctor, and I'll be damned if its going to hinder my life, I intend to do everything I planned before I was positive. U should feel the same mate. I hope this has helped u mate, cause right now and in the future ur children need their dad and ur wife needs her husband, don't let the virus take that away.

Dont worry everything will be alright.Im sure they will give you the information you need and what to do next.There are meds you can take to live long so dont be afraid.You will see your kids get married.Be happy you have your kids already who are healthy.Get support online or a group close to where you live.

Thanks for response....i did my second blood draw today.....waiting for nervous.....i told my wife and she knows.....i am so scared for her.....i feel horrible....but i hope and pray it all turns out ok

hey i am not pos but my bf is you will be ok there are people out there that will help all you have to do is ask

I feel so alone with no one to talk to