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Newly Positive

I am HIV positive as of March 2008. I found out after my birthday and it was the most devastating news I have ever learned.  I was just returning from New York for the first time and I had to study for my finals, so between the studying for the finals and coping with the news I was planning for my wedding.  I thought I was going to die, I wanted to end my life the day I got the news. I went to my dorm room and opened a bottle full of ritalin pills, cried, slept, cried, and got up looking at the ritalin bottle.  My heart ached, my whole body ached from the news.  I wanted a family, I wanted kids, I wanted a normal sex life-I was angry at myself.  I know I was a very careful person for every partner I had! I was tore up.  I swore I would never tell my mother or sister the most important women in my life.  I told them and now I am learning how to deal with it, but I still am dealing with a lot of issues. I feel so alone because I am the only one in my circle of life that has HIV positive. I feel like an outcast... I'm afraid to get intimate with my wife even though she acknowledges the risks.  I am not willing to take risks and I need some time to cope with the news. I am trying not to get depressed or hate myself.

ChaseCK ChaseCK 31-35 7 Responses Jan 16, 2009

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Why worry when the cure is now out. the cure for HIV is now all over the world. get back to me for more details

I was been suffering hardship from HIV/AIDS since 9yrs now, and i happen to have 2 kids for my husband, and now we cannot proceed to have another kids all because of my disease and now i have do all what a human like i and my husband can do just to get my disease healed, i have went to several places to seek for help not even one person could ever help, until i melt a comment on the daily news paper that was commented by Miss Marilyn about how this powerful traditional doctor help her get cured of the disease (HIV-AIDS) " my fellow beloved" i firstly taught having a help from a spiritual traditional healer was a wrong idea, but i think of these, will i continue to stress on these disease all day when i have someone to help me save my life?" so i gather all my faiths and put in all interest to contact him through his Email address at ugbakhuanspelltemple@gmail.com , so after i have mailed him of helping get my disease cured, i respond to me fast as possible that i should not be afraid, that he is a truthful and powerful doctor which i firstly claimed him to be. So after all set has been done, he promise me that i will be healed but on a condition that i provide him some items and obeyed all his oracle said. I did all by accepting his oracle fact and only to see that the following week Dr Ugbakhuan mail me on my mail box that my work is successfully done with his powers, i was first shocked and later arise to be the happiest woman on earth after i have concluded my final test on the hospital by my doctor that i am now HIV- Negative. My papers for check are with me and now i am happy and glad for his miraculous help and power.
With these i must to everyone who might seek for any help, either for HIV cure or much more to contact him now at these following email now,
Email: ugbakhuanspelltemple@gmail.com
" sir thank you so much for your immediate cure of my disease, i must say for curing my disease, i owe you in return. Thanks and be blessed sir.
My name is jane wembli
His Email address is:
ugbakhuanspelltemple@gmail.com

Just reading your story brought tears to my eyes cos i feel the way u feel and i also have a supportive partner who is also hiv+ but still i feel alone sometimes as i wish i had people i could talk to who r going through the same thing other than my boyf. <br />
I want to be normal in everything i do and its impossible cos i must accomodate this virus all the time. Just hold on is all i can tell u right now.

I know it has been a while since you posted this but i just came across your story now and i have two quotes to give you which sum up the entire process of life :<br />
<br />
1) " Life was never guaranteed,Before or after we got it" : Living each day would make you realize the importance of just being alive and living today,Being HIV positive is not the end of the world,it is just adjusting to a different world.I am sure you must be coping up with it much better than you were when you first wrote this story and i would just advice you to stay positive and that will help you in staying healthy as well.<br />
<br />
2) " People are in your life for a season, a reason Or a lifetime" : Your family is your support and will always stand by you,the rest come and go.<br />
<br />
Take care and good luck,<br />
Vik

Well don't give up! I have been HIV positive for half my life (I am now 36, over 18 years) and I am still going strong, the meds work wonders these days.<br />
<br />
Also, I have had a child with my wife when we both AIDS status, our child is HIV negative. We followed CDC guidelines (Csection, AZT 6weeks) and that makes the chances of baby contracting HIV less than 1%!<br />
<br />
-------------------------------------<br />
Live HIV Chat:<br />
http://www.AIDSchat.org<br />
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There are groups out there to help you through this. I feel for you, because when you love someone you don't want them to go through the same negative feelings you have. I'm glad you didn't kill yourself, even though I have thought about many times. I'm HIV+ for 22 years with many up and downs. Just love that wife of yours and join a group for straight individuals with HIV. It will help. I wish you luck.

Wow, dear ChaseCK, I cannot imagine what it is like to receive news of that sort. I wish I could come up with some great advice for you. I can try, but I'd be lying if I said 'I know how you feel', because I don't.<br />
<br />
Chase, all I know is that life is too short to be angry or upset. Think of your wife and the rest of your life together. Make the most out of it. I know that you will find a way to cope with this. Just keep talking, to your wife, your mother and your sister. <br />
<br />
You will never be alone.