I am just a mess. I moved across canada for a job, without any idea that I was positive.

My ex cheated on me and gave me syphilis a few yrs ago, so when I was consistently feeling unwell I decided to go into the local hospital(an hr away, and I work everyday) and get an update status on the Sti.

But when I went in for a follow up after the blood work, I was blasted with the results that I am now hiv positive. It still does not feel like a reality.

So I have just been trying to get through everyday like nothing's different. Can't talk to anyone here about it, and can't find the voice to tell anyone from home because, well, that would make it part of my reality, which I'm not so ready for.

Stuck at this resort, can't even try to eat better because what your given is what you get, and I won't be able to start treatment until I start school in september. which is in a province I have never been in yet (aka no doctor) and have to now try and set up a doctor and such which could take months. I also just got my count today from my first blood results (cd 600 and viral load 1000) still don't completely understand the lingo but the viral load count doesn't sound good at all.

I am getting so exhausted from working every dam day, sleepless nights of thinking about this and being full of anxiety and well, just extremely depressed. Found out over a month ago (July 17) and this is my first social admittance of being positive and. It's just too much to handle right now. Not to mention the extra stress and drama at work, which I cannot excuse my self from without exploiting my status. I really want to keep calm and stress free, but I am on an edge right now like no other
justkeepswimming89 justkeepswimming89
26-30, M
11 Responses Aug 19, 2014

I was diagnosed of this HIV deadly disease a friend of mine introduce DrJerry to me and I actually did contact him after he has prepare what he said he will do and he sent it to me and I used it according to his prescription after one week I went to the hospital to check my status again because I was feeling differently from the way I used when I was tested POSITIVE to my greatest surprise the status was NEGATIVE the medical doctors there was surprise and I have to tell the whole world about this if you are still having this similar problem I recommend you to

Dr Jerry for you here is his email address:
traditionalspellhospital (@) gmail.com

Hello ,i am Ann Bryan from United state I live here in south California ,i am 46 years old,i saw a comment posted on health remedy by Christie bolt from Texas , about a doctor she met on internet and how she was diagnosed of hpv , and how she got healed from it with herbal cannabis cream prepared by an India herbal doctor called HAKIM , so i called her and she told me this same doctor cured HIV/AIDS, then she gave me the doctor address, i traveled down to India to see the doctor myself, i explained to him about my illness, which is Skin cancer ,which i have suffered from 3 years ,first he asked me if i believed in roots and herbs then i said yes, he provided me herbal medicine information's for my cure and asked me to testify once i am cured from the illness , after taken the medicine as recommended by him, then i went for check up in the hospital and my doctor told me that i am free from the infection, even myself noticed the charges in my
body , then dr.Hakim asked me to promise him that i we testify of his good herbal work to the world, so I we like you to contact him if you have any health issue as well maybe he can help (dr.hakimherbalhealinghome@ yahoo.in) because he his the best herbal Doctor i have seen

when u start taking ur meds the count will start to decrease...if u r a good girl r boy...lol...with ur meds the virus will become undetected....what ever u do just dont go into denial

I'm sorry to hear all the negative things happening in your life. I hope things start to go your way and you feel well soon. It's hard take all this in, but its like diabetes. You have to be strong and know that you are loved.

It is no longer a death sentence, but a manageable disease. Take your medication and you will be fine. Stop stressing, because it will make you sicker. Develop a positive frame of mind, together with your meds, and you will be back to your normal healthy self.

I am positive too. I've lived with this for 14 years. It takes some time but it can actually help you learn things about yourself that you never knew existed. It's a process. Groups help and talking to others with it helps. If you need to talk I'm here for u.

Wow. Your numbers are SUPERB. A normal viral load is like 100,000 ish. It's a big number. And cd4 is really high. In no time at all.. You will be undetectable. (Meaning viral load will be at like 5 or lower. Yes .. 5 ! )
Meds and also dietary supplements are the key.

Keep being positive, I know it is easier said than done, I personally understand it. Please check out my friends page, she shared her story thank you www.indiegogo.com/projects/student-travel/x/8456560

I tested positive in June and started treatment on 17 July as my CD4 was 278 and my viral load was 4000 yet I still look healthy. Your count is not so bad but you need to stop stressing and eat healthy as stress can weaken your immune system. Nothing is depressing like finding out you are positive and all no one to share your life with. I felt like the earth would open and swallow me but somehow God gave me strength and I told my mom and one friend of mine who have both been so supportive. It's hard I know but it will get better with time you will even find humour in it. I cannot believe how quick I have accepted I guess its because it is preached everyday that this is not a death sentence its just a manageable disease. God will never leave you no forsake you, have faith it will get better in time.

Someone very close to me is positive and with his meds his numbers have been as if he doesn't have HIV. There are great treatments out there. I honestly believe a cure is around the corner.
Stay strong. I know mental exhaustion and it just makes things worse. Try to shake some of the smaller things off so less is on your plate.

I honestly know how you feel. All I can say is be positive as you can possibly can. Stress can weaken your immune system. Stay positive. Try I promise you!

Thanks :)

be strong and try to accept what you have...I found out only a month earlier then you so we are in the same **** ...anyway I have started medication as my doctor said its better to start early as maybe I have T B and also because my partner is negative.....this was his second time since we have had sex that was in the beginning of may before I got sick... this site has made me feel much better only pity that not so many are writing.... I almost come here daily ..its not the end of the world you just need some strength and courage to move on :)