Suffering From Haphephobia

I've been haphephobic for most of my llife. I didn't really grow up in a safe environmaent as a little kid, and I grew up around people where it was always safer to just not let them near enough tot touch you. Where i was raised most physical touch was not a very good thing, i was constantly physically attacked by local kids and fellow classmates for being the outcast and just grew up to seriously not like being touched. I also saw a lot of abuse amongst other families although never suffered any at the hands of my own, eventually i just realized that if i kept my head down, stayed out of the way and far away from other people that i wouldn't get hurt. I guess the mentality just sorta stuck with me even after we moved away from there. I'm actually a lot better now than i used to be, my best friend and i have known each other for 5 years now and it took me 3 years before i would even hug her or walk/stand next to her at closer then about a foot to a foot and a half away. I have never really had a problem with physical touch when it comes to immediate family members like my mom, dad, grandma or grandpa, and now that iv'e known her for so long i can have a normal range of physical contact with my best friend. Although when it comes to people im not so close to or know as well such as my Uncle, my best freind's boyfriend, or just people i know at school i cant really get close to them. I may have made progress with my Haphephobia but im definatley not cured, i still cant go over to a friends house after school or to a party becasue im too afraid of being touched by somebody i dont know. It's not that i dont want to go or hangout with my friends, i just cant get over the fear that i may touch or be touched by somebody i dont trust or know very well.
raiven raiven
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 16, 2010

Thank you for sharing your story iv been doing allot of searching and im not sure if this is what i have my fear is more of being touched on the back or a breexe goin acrossed my back at times even my shirt may bother me i get chills and can freak out if some one touches my back is this what i have or do you know if maybe its something else???

i have haphephobia, it's getting worse, i don't thnk people realize just how difficult it is and hard.

Wow. Thanks for opening my mind on the matter. Knowing that this phobia is real, I can be more understanding of people who are averse to touch. :)