Personal Space

Most people don't understand what it's like to be haphephobic. How your heart races and you begin to sweat every time someone touches you? I have this friend who is a great guy always kind and caring but likes to hug people, especially his friends. Every time we say good-bye he feels he needs to hug me. I know he means nothing by it but I feel nauseated and violated afterwords. My heart starts beating faster, I feel my head spinning, and sick to the stomach. I don't want to be rude so I don't ask him to stop but I feel horrible every time he hugs me. For me personal space is not something to be taken lightly. Do you know anyone like this?

pallas pallas
5 Responses May 13, 2009

sometimes these social fears develope because something may of happend to us when we wer children our space was invaded some how.. this creates a lack of security and trust with people. I have also sweated and ben dizzy when hugged. but it depends on the person. It is best to look deep to ***** the internal fear!

my personal space is about 5 foot? i hate being touch, when every one touch me, i feel like they put a knife into me. i panic very bad and i have to run away. i feel numbness, breathlessness, dry mouth, feeling dizzy, feeling trapped and out of control, i just have to run away. i hate a lot of poeple near me, some times i get very frightened.

I like the idea of a handskhake or a special hand shake with those kind of people. Those are both great ideas!

What I've done to avoid hugs is to come up with special hand shakes with those "i love hugs" type of people. This makes them not feel rejected and I can avoid a panic attack.

Absolutely. My personal space is about 3 feet and for those who can't or won't respect it without a lengthy and embarrassingly frank discussion usually find more quality time with me on the telephone than in my living room. Would you be more comfortable if he'd agree to a handshake instead? Hugs can feel very restricting.