Post

Would You Make A Good Mother?

Well, there are ways to tell. Here, I share with you some of the purest, truest tests of your children skills and maternal capabilities. Read on...
Think about when you meet children. Do you know how to talk to them and relate to them? Can you talk to a child in a way that will actually elicit a response and keep him engaged? If you are good with children, you will be able to. Or do you just stand there dumbly, or else say things such as "My, how you've grown! What grade are you in now? Do you like school?" That's what people say when they can't think of anything else to say to kids.
Try babysitting. If you actually enjoy the experience and the kids come out of it unscathed, then you may have what it takes. If you feel irritated, overwhelmed, or else you're checking your watch and counting the minutes until the parents return, then that's an indication motherhood isn't for you.
Think about times you see a bunch of crying, fussing, running, fighting, noisy kids in a store, restaurant, or waiting room. What's your reaction? Do you want to get involved, help the children, and straighten out the situation? You're a candidate for motherhood. You're not if you feel irritated, or downright enraged just by being exposed to it, or if you get all aloof and distant, and want to either pretend you don't see or get out of there as fast as you can.
I wouldn't recommend motherhood to anyone who, like me, is very much a loner. I sometimes don't want to talk to anyone, and don't want to be bothered. I definitely don't want anyone pulling on me, calling for me, demanding things, asking questions, and clamoring for my attention. Children need an intense level of interaction and emotional bonding in order to thrive; you can't just stick them in a room and forget about them. You would be much better off to get a parakeet; at least you could throw a towel over the cage when you're tired, need some peace and quiet, or just don't want to be bothered.
Do you have a sense of humor and compassion? If you're the type who would go ballistic if someone spilled juice on the seat of your car, or put sticky fingers on your perfectly clean furniture, don't become a parent. If you have kids, you WILL have messes, lots of them, and you'll have the clean them up, because the kids won't.
Are you willing and able to assert yourself as an authority figure? See my story "Kids Need Discipline" for more on this important topic.
Do you have all your issues straightened out? If you struggle with depression, drugs/alcohol, mental illness, anger management, etc. don't have kids. There are some things children will never understand, and shouldn't have to.
Do you understand that now your kids will be your #1 priority? All other things ( careers, hobbies, travel, friends, any personal pursuits and achievement ) will have to be placed on the back burner until your kids are grown. If you don't raise your kids right, if you neglect them so you can pursue other things, and aren't there for them in the way you need to be, it doesn't matter what else you're good at.
To be a good parent you have to be PRESENT, you have to be involved; if you can't or won't do this, then please don't have children.
These are some of the things that helped me arrive at my decision to be childfree. I hope this will be food for thought for a lot of people.
atpeacewithme atpeacewithme 31-35 1 Response Aug 21, 2010

Your Response

Cancel

An excellent post! Everything you say is spot on, and I'd wager VERY few people who sprog ever stop to think about their decision in quite this approach. I think parents should be required to be licensed, but of course there's no way to ever administer a legitimate exam for this.