I Like Kids, I Just Don't Want to Have Any

I'm 34 and my husband and I have decided against having children. I like kids, and work with them, but I want to come home and have time with my husband, just the two of us. I think having children would be a lot of work and cause us too much stress. I would also rather we save our money and retire early. If I desperately wanted kids, all of the disadvantages of having them probably wouldn't matter, but since I don't have a deep desire to be a parent, it doesn't make any sense to make the sacrifices involved. We're happy with our life the way it is. Why complicate things?

Maybe having children would have brought us a lot of joy. Maybe it would have been a disaster. Life is full of choices and alternate paths. I think we've made the right choice for us.

A lot of my friends are having kids right now, or trying to get pregnant. I hope we'll all still be friends despite our different choices. Fortunately, I live in a big city where many people don't have children either, so I don't think I'll feel too left out or alone, even if my friendships don't last once my friends have children.

Nineve Nineve
31-35, F
4 Responses Jun 25, 2007

I think it's wonderful that you and your husband are doing what you want to do,stand on your word you will be happy.children are with us, only for a short time.It seems like you put your self last,and when the nest is empty,you are to tired to even think about what you want to do.I have 4 children they are my pride and joy but if I could do it again I may have one.I wish you the beat in all you do in life.<br />
<br />
Trails

wow, you're really unique. most of us, esp us women, feel the need to procreate. and then 10 or 12 yrs later when the "fairy tale" isn't what it's cracked up to be, we're like, "wha happened???" my son's are a great source of heartache, anguish, exasperation, confusion, FRUSTRATION and WORRY. my sons also make me think of humor, creativity, grace, beauty. one thing i have never, ever felt was REGRET. i'm so glad they're here. it's what i've always wanted even if i'm not that great at being a mom sometimes, ( a lot of times?). <br />
I wish you all the best and really, really respect your feeling about this. i just hope you don't someday regret not having chid(ren) to the point where you may be really depressed about it. :(

I think its great that you decided to make a conscious choice to not have children. Since you work with children you have more to give to them than you would if you had your own. I have also decided against children at this point. Im 27 years old and Ive decided if I do have them it will only be one and I want to adopt for there are so many children in the world who need good homes so why bring more people into our already overpopulated planet earth.

I hope that you can maintain your friendships, and that the people in your life will respect your decision.