From An Early Articulator

I am what I've heard called an early articulator - I've known from a very early age that I've never wanted children. It's strange to many but even as a seven-year-old playing in the playground, I would play imaginary games of being a grown up that never involved children. The concept of raising a baby has always seemed somewhat alien to me and I would often rather put toy dogs and fish in a pram than babies. I met a couple of girly friends and whilst we played with dolls, I knew deep down that I was never destined to parent and normally preferred toy animals. I could enjoy the company of kids as a kid myself but the older I've got, the less patience I've had. I am not a natural nurturing type towards humans even though I melt over dogs and cats. If you want to see anything close to maternal from me then give me a puppy or kitten.

 

Some people have thought that perhaps I hate children but as much as I dislike them, I can't deny that babies/young children are cute to look at. I often say that they are baby tiger cute...when you see baby tigers in the zoo you think they are gorgeous but if someone asked you to take them home and raise them, if you still have your sanity you'd scarper! I actually believe that children deserve to be loved and because I'd be unable to do that I feel that it would be immoral to have them. I get so annoyed when I hear of children getting mistreated. 

 

Besides generally not liking children, my other reasons include not having the best genetics, wanting a career and whilst I've nothing against people having babies, I personally feel that there are enough homeless and hungry people in the world and I wouldn't want to add. I always told myself that if I got hit on the head and suddenly loved kids, I would consider adoption for this reason. It's horrible to think of the sheer amount of children in homes/foster care who have no permanent families.

 

My family gave me a good childhood but were way too overprotective and I think that having felt restricted for a large chunk of my life contributed to me not wanting to give up my life to raise a kid. I love to have my freedom way too much. However, other children ruined parts of my childhood and I do think that it had a bit of a bearing on my not liking children but perhaps not a huge deal, as I knew at an age earlier than these things happened that I'd never breed.

 

I have been lucky enough to have my tubes tied and it has brought me huge peace of mind. I really get annoyed though when people equate not wanting children to being immature or telling me that "I'll change my mind." I've actually got more and more childfree as I've gotten older. Babies have joined my immediate family and instead of making me maternal, it confirmed my feelings that I really don't want that sort of life for myself.  I really couldn't bear a whole life of forever being responsible for another human being. There's not only having to care for its welfare but also the fact that things could go horribly wrong and the child still end up as a less than savoury character despite all of your efforts. 

 

Some people say that you should have children so as not to be lonely in your old age but children are no guarantee of this. Not all children visit and for me, life is about living and enjoying myself in a way that I see suitable. I have one shot at this life and I don't intend to let the expectations of society force me into decisions that I know full well that I'll regret. I've been told that I'll wind up an old lady with lots of cats and/or dogs but the notion of having a little terrier and a few cats in old age isn't a bad thing...at least I know I'll have lived life in the way that I'd wanted and didn't get pushed into the wrong and most irreversible decision.

Cynanthrope Cynanthrope
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 2, 2010

I couldn't have said it better!

Haha, love your phrase "tiger cute." I've often thought, "Is it wrong to think kittens are cuter than babies?" It's not wrong, just a sign I don't need to have children. Good for you for not letting society push its expectations on you.

I like your story, thanks for sharing! When I meet people on the street and they have both a kid and a dog with them, I tend to be more attracted to petting the dog than interacting with the kid. ;) And while I find kids cute (some of them anyway), I know I only find them so endearing because I know they won't be going home with me at the end of the day. It's fascinating to watch my cousins have their own kids and see how they grow up, but I get enough joy from that, and don't feel like it would be so joyous for me if they were mine.