I Am Happily Married

Deference And Joy - There Is Nothing Demeaning About Being Deferential To Your Husband

By: annikin

Written on May 3rd, 2012

Deference is something i am still being taught by my own husband - but these lessons are being daily reconfirmed by example as I am a guest of a charming 'lifestyle' couple. I have stayed with them once before for a shorter duration, and that first time I resented it because I would like to have a few weeks of independence while my husband/master was away. But of course it is precisely because of this that I have to stay with these friends! I have come to love them. 'Joy' writes very little about the DD aspect of her life on EP - it just is the way she lives. I see a woman who gracefully defers to her husband, discreetly seeks his permission to do anything that would put her beyond his protection even for a few minutes, and never taking anything for granted. From her, even though she is younger than I am, I see how to simply accept without argument or question, a husband's refusal. And it's calmed me down.

I do not know if, to spare herself possible embarrassment she is being extra well-behaved while I am in her house, or if David is being extra lenient.. But within our little community David has a reputation for being strict, which is another way of saying he is consistent in maintaining the status quo and doesn't slack off. While I've been here (also on my very best behaviour) I have not been aware of any maintenance spankings occuring, although I know they must. What I see is a very considerate, generous, responsible husband and a gracefully obedient, discreet and intelligent wife. I aspire to that. There is a huge improvement in my attitude already

By: annikin

Age: 51-55 , Female

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12 responses

blackbabe30

Does he ever need to punish her?

May 12
2 likes
- annikin
  I don't honestly know
  
  May 12
  1 like
jvcs

i am not in a dd relationship as my wife is not that way we like to be 50 50 on all things my comment to you is when he is away what is he thinking you may do and why dose he need to have you watched even if it is by friends my wife is from another country and she goes home to visit i trust her to not do any thing she shouldn't and she trusts me

Feb 14
1 like
- annikin
  He wants to be reassured that I am safe in someone's care when he isn't around, I guess.
  
  Feb 15
  1 like
- TEMPOLTON
  You shohld understand something bevore you dis it.... And your wife would rexpond if you STEP UP.
  
  May 10
  1 like
smariem

In a way I find you fortunate in that you,re actually acquainted with other couples with this life style. I have never been fortunate in meeting another TIH couple..at least, not that I know of.

Jun 18, 2012
1 like
IQplusfun

I'm sorry, but I would see it as a huge distrust, if my husband would put me 'into the household' of some friends, to watch over me, while he is gone. I am faithful and we have been married for more than 25 years, I can handle myself (although I would miss him) for a few weeks, actually even months, if need be! I do accept your lifestyle, but it would feel too imposing for me, especially while I have a teenage daughter to consider as well.

Jun 18, 2012
2 likes
ladyblue848

"I have stayed with them once before for a shorter duration, and that first time I resented it because I would like to have a few weeks of independence while my husband/master was away. But of course it is precisely because of this that I have to stay with these friends!"

I don't know if this is what is happening, or if it is your "master's" intention, but this is one of the things that occurs with brainwashing. Those who are trying to brainwash others will make sure the ones they want to brainwash are never alone, and are always in the company of people who behave the way they want them to, and consistently encourage them to think and behave the way the brainwasher wants them to.

A person who doesn't give you what you want, and instead insists you do things their way, is not showing you love. They are showing you dominance and control to ensure you become what they want, and not what you truly may be.

Jun 14, 2012
2 likes
- damselfly
  Oy! I'm no brain-washer, nor do I take part in such activities - I'm totally against religion of any kind. Also her husband always gives her what she wants (possibly via a circuitous route, however) and she wants for nothing including Rolex watches
  
  Jun 21, 2012
  1 like
- ladyblue848
  I wasn't referring to material objects like Rolex watches when I said he doesn't give her what she wants. She wants a few weeks of independence while her husband is away, but he won't give it to her, so he obviously does NOT always give her what she wants. I would never want to be forced to go stay with other people when my husband goes out of town. Its like insisting that I be babysat.
  
  Jun 22, 2012
  1 like
- annikin
  I have to admit it can be f**king annoying as a concept. But on the other hand, in practice I do get to stay with some frightfully interesting and subversive babysitters, such as damselfly. Fact is I THINK I want a bit of independence but have to resign myself to doing what my husband wants. And the funny thing is I always have a much better time than I ever did when I had independence. Plus I have the advantage of being able to grumble about not getting my own way, which is great fun
  
  Jun 23, 2012
  1 like
NorgePrincess

While I don't know anything about the relationships you've mentioned, I would agree with the basic thoughts you have shared.

May 28, 2012
1 like

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