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I know this is long, but please read. It truly helps you to understand those of us who feel this way...

Don't hold strong opinions about things you don't understand. 

My time has come, and so I'm gone. To a better place, far beyond. I love you all as you can see. But it's better now, because I'm free.

Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothing is right.

I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.

Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again.

When I was younger crying always seemed to be the answer. Now that I'm older crying seems to be the only option.

I guess there comes a point where you just have to stop trying because it hurts too much to hold on anymore.

You say I'm always happy, and that I'm good at what I do, but what you'll never realize is, I'm a damn good actress too.

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.

Tired of living and scared of dying.

I don't necessarily want to be happy; I just want to stop feeling miserable.

Don't fall into the trap of pretending everything's fine when you know it isn't.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

I'm just learning how to smile, and that's not easy to do.

Sometimes it hurts more to smile in front of everyone, then to cry all alone.

I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled. The one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten her own.

Just when I thought my life was coming together, I realized it was just starting to fall apart.

Stop the world. I wanna get off.

I bleed for you that's why I cut those simple scars are just deep thoughts.

You bleed just to know you’re alive.

Death is God's way of saying “you're fired”. Suicide is human’s way of saying “you can't fire me, I quit”.

I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any of me left.

Everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek, I ran away and hid from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back to me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that pain I felt so long ago; it's hurting ten times more.

It's the loneliest feeling in the world - to find yourself standing up when everyone else is sitting down. To have everybody look at you and say "what's the matter with her?" I know what it feels like. Walking down an empty street, listening to the sound of your own footsteps. Shutters closed, blinds drawn, doors locked against you. And you aren't sure whether you're walking toward something, or if you're just walking away.

You start life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been and wonder who you really are.

I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.

I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering.

Maybe I am crazy but laughing makes the pain pass by.

I love sleep. My life has this tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.

I know what its like to want to die; how it hurts to smile; how you try to fit in but you can't; how you hurt yourself on the outside; to try to kill the thing that's in the inside.

Even the people who never frown eventually break down.

How can you understand me when I can't understand myself?

I hate what I have become to escape what I hated being.



It's like I realized that way down inside, I've always been lonely for something. But I don't know what for. It's like everybody in the world wants something. Only they never really know exactly what it is - they just keep finding out what it's not. You know how, when you turn off the TV or you come out of some concert, and everything just feels empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't?

You look at me and think, 'she's so happy' but there's so much behind this little smile that you will never know.

Do you ever have those times you cry and you don't know why?

People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well I've tried that I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many masks you wear.

Let no one think I gave in.

The pain is there to remind me that I'm still alive.

It seems to me that the harder I try the harder I fall.

Refuse to feel anything at all, refuse to slip, refuse to fall, can't be weak, can't stand still, and watch your back because no one else will.

There's no excuse for the need to take your own life away, everyone passes through some rough obstacles in life, just face them as they come along, there's always a way to overcome those obstacles, and learn from your experiences.

If you can't solve it, it isn't a problem--its reality. And sometimes reality is the hardest thing to understand and the thing that takes the longest to realize. But once it hits you in the face you'll never forget it. It will always be there in your memories and sometimes that is the best way to look at it.

It's funny the way you can get used to the tears and the pain.

What do you do when you become too scared, too scared to live, too scared to die, too scared to love, too scared to even care?

You can't just hug me and say it's okay because right now... it doesn't feel that way…

Sometimes the littlest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times when you wish you can go back to how things used to be but you just can't because things have changed so much.

I just wish I could roll back the clocks to when things were the same... then we were all just a bunch of crazy teenagers looking for a wild time. But now, thing aren't the same. Each of us has gone our different ways. We change, people change, things just change, and we aren't those crazy teenagers looking for a wild time anymore. We're teenagers looking for a person to love and a person to hug when we're in need.

Sometimes I think that if I wasn't so good at pretending to be, I'd be better at actually being happy.

Her sadness did not have that. It dripped slowly into her life without her noticing it; at least, not noticing it until it consumed her fully and smothered her with darkness.

I quit, I give up, nothing's good enough for anybody else, it see... when I’m all alone its best way to be. When I'm by myself nobody else can say good-bye. Everything is temporary anyway.

Everybody's searching for a hero. People need someone to look up to. I never found anyone who fulfilled my need... a lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on me.

Pain is your friend, it tells you when you're seriously injured, it keeps you awake and angry but the best thing about it is it lets you know that you're alive.

I have a tendency to hurt myself physically, when I'm hurting inside.

When your sure you've had enough of this life... don't let yourself go... because everybody cries... everybody hurts sometimes... sometimes everything is wrong.

Some of us are just trying to get through the day without falling apart.

Every night before I go to sleep I lie on my bed and stare up at my blank walls. I try to imagine the future, but right now it's as blank as those walls. All I can see is a past that I barely recognize any more.

I don't want the world to see me, because I don't think that they'd understand.

Look at me. You may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me.

There's a smile on my face but I don't know why it's there... I put it on to satisfy all the people that don't even care.

I'm often silent when I am screaming inside.

The deepest people are the ones who've been hurt the most.

Someone once asked me, 'Why do you always insist on taking the hard road?' I replied, 'Why do you assume I see two roads?'

Wear a mask that grins and lies, it hides our cheeks and shades our eyes. The debt we pay to human guile, with torn and broken hearts, we smile.

Sometimes I feel like nobody has held me down and forced me to cry or made me hug them, or seen to the inside of me. I just say 'oh I'm fine' and walk away. Nobody's ever said to me 'no, you're not'.

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

Some people try to understand, but nobody can know what living like this is like.

You never know when you wake up, if all will be the same, or if you'll be back in your dark place, again to feel the pain.

No one can see the pain what we hide, they're happy for us to keep it inside, our fear is our own; they don't want to know. Why should we involve them; why should it show.

Our generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.

So drop the little razor, and pick up your life, forget all the bad things, the pain and the strife.

I'm not my usual self being quiet and lonely isn't 'me' crying all night, acting all day this isn't how it's supposed to be.

I'm hurting so bad inside I just wish you could see... I'm struggling to be someone that isn't even close to me.

Beware the person who has nothing to lose.

In the end, music is your only friend.

When your going thru hell... it's best to just keep on going...

What's the point in screaming? No one is listening anyway.

I'm young and I'm hopeless... I'm lost and I know this... I'm going nowhere fast... that's what they say... I'm troublesome, I've fallen... I'm angry at my Father... it's me against this world and I don't care.

She's not the kind of girl who likes to tell the world about the way she feels about herself.

Did it surprise you that I am not who you thought I was? Did it surprise you to find that I don't exactly stand for what you thought I stood for all along? Did it surprise you to find that I'm not exactly how I played myself out to be? That the person you thought I was is actually nothing to what I am.

Everyone sees who I appear to be but only a few know the real me, you only see what I choose to show there's so much behind my smile you just don't know.

I like having low self-esteem it makes me feel special.

Take it from someone who's fallen... it's a long way down.

They say you need to pray, if you want to go to heaven. But they don't tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell.

The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.

The beautiful thing about music is when it hits you, you fell no pain.

True strength is holding it together when everyone else would understand if you fall apart.

The only thing worse then being hated is being ignored. At least when they hate you they treat you like you exist.

There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.

Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around.

She is the quietest kind of rebel.

She could shut out the whole world, including herself.

Our scars have the power to remind us that the past is real.

Nothing can stop me now because I don't care anymore.

In that one instance I hated everyone in my life, everyone and everything, and me most of all.

She was like a flower that had been battered by a storm, but not quite destroyed. Gradually, she began to strengthen and bloom again.

She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad and that's important you know.

I'll fake all the smiles, if it stops all the questions.

Behind this innocent smile of mine, lay words left unsaid. Words of longing, love, anger, and hate, all repeated inside my head.

I've been a loser all my life. I'm not about to change. If you don't like it, there's a door. Nobody made you stay.

But its ironic because that's how I live my life. I smile on the outside, and everyone thinks I'm doing fine but I'm always dying inside, always one step away from the edge you know? I can't be happy to be who I am because I don't know who I am anymore.

Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you.

I just realized that were all a bunch of actresses and we've fooled everyone into believing that we're all okay... I'm just waiting for the day when I can convince myself of that.

I smile, I smile all the time, and you’re just not around to see it.

I just like playing games with people, I always hope there'll be someone smart enough to see through me but you're all so stupid.

I'm so happy, cause today I found my friends, they're in my head.

I wouldn't be surprised if I was voted most likely to kill everyone at a high school dance.

I'd rather hang out with the losers that would sit and smoke a cigarette than the ones who wanted to throw a baseball.

All rock music is good as long as it has passion and feeling.

If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.

QUIET! I can't hear you & all the voices in my head at the same time!

If you hold back your feelings because you are afraid of getting hurt, you end up hurting anyway.

Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels.

When you quit fearing pain, when you learn to love the pain, you will lose all fear of everything.

Just because some people don't cry, doesn't mean they're not suffering.

I cut to prove to you that you are not the only one that can hurt me.

The sky isn't always blue. The sun doesn't always shine. So it's okay to fall apart sometimes.

You do it to yourself... and that's why it really hurts.

I used to have many faults, not I have only two - everything I say and everything I do...

I've come to the point where nothing matters anymore, and things I used to care about aren't worth fighting for.

I am not what I ought to be, not what I want to be, but I am thankful that I am better than I used to be...

Those who say sunshine brings happiness have never danced in the rain.

I'm not afraid of the gun in my hand, I'm not afraid of dying, I'm just afraid of the pain it will bring, and to see my best friends crying.

Are you running away from something you don't want? Or running away from something you're afraid to want?

I wear my scars proudly. They represent the battles through which I have gone, and I am proud because those battles I have won.

You have no idea what I can do.

The insane are sane and the sane are insane in a world of craziness.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the moment one area of your life starts going okay, another part of it falls spectacularly to pieces.

I believe in whatever gets you through the night. Night is the hardest time to be alive. For me, anyway. It lasts so long, and four am knows all my secrets. Four am is when my dreams die.

No matter what you do or say, there's nothing that you can do to make people understand you.---Kurt Cobain

Damaged people are dangerous, they know they know they can survive.

People dislike alcoholics, but they still drink at parties. People sit in non-smoking section in restaurants, but still enjoy the occasional nicotine jolt. People have strong feelings against self-injurers, but they also take all their emotions out on other people.

Such a pretty girl, happy in an ugly place. Watching all the pretty people do lots of ugly things.

The apple fall far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful she takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible tormented dreams she stays awake recalls when she was capable...

Without pain, there would be no suffering, with out suffering we would never learn from out mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there's no way of life.

If I would kill myself tonight, who would remember me tomorrow?

No more joy - No more sadness - No emotion - Only madness. I can't see. I don't feel. I can't touch. I don't heal.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Skin is beautiful, don't ruin it with scars just because your life isn't as beautiful. For once life becomes beautiful to you again, your skin wont be so beautiful anymore.

Life it seems, will fade away drifting further every day getting lost within myself nothing matters no one else I have lost the will to live simply nothing more to give.

I am sad but I'm laughing.

Everybody knows that something's wrong but nobody knows what's going on.

We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?

The question isn't 'who is going to let me'; it's 'who is going to stop me'.

And sometimes I have really bad day... when, you know, I just want to hide or scream or bleed or something...

Scar tissue has no character. It's not like skin. It doesn't show age or illness or pallor or tan. It has no pores, no hair, no wrinkles. It's like a slip cover. It shields and disguises what's beneath. That's why we grow it; we have something to hide.

I only smile in the dark.

Every so often I want to dig my fingernails underneath my skin and peel off the face everybody's so used to seeing me in. Every so often I want people to know that I'm not as okay as they think I am.

It wasn't a suicide attempt, it was an escape from everything awful. When we cut, we're in control - we make our own pain and we can stop it whenever we want. Physical pain relieves mental anguish. For a brief moment, the pain of cutting is the only thing in the cutter's mind, and when that stops and the other comes back, it is weaker. Drugs do that too, and sex, but not like cutting. Nothing is like cutting.

To be loved to madness - such was her great desire. Love was to her the one cordial that could drive away the eating loneliness of her days.

These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars, to fit the pieces, to tell your story, you don't need to say a word.

Who am I? I am who I say I am and tomorrow someone else entirely.

A pill to make you numb, a pill to you make you dumb, a pill to make you anybody else, but all the drugs in this world won’t save her from herself.

We're all quite mad here. Ha... ha ha ha ha ha! You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.

If you don't like the way I am, then don't come around me. If you don't like the way that I talk, then don't listen. If you don't like the way I dress, then don't look. But don't waste my time telling me about it. I don't care.

Reality has exiled me; I am no longer bound by it's laws.

Sometimes you can cry until there is nothing left wet in you. You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray all you want to whatever god you think will listen. And still, it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you. And you know that if it ever did relent... it would not be because it cared.-Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Sometimes I sit and watch the ink leak from my pen. It comforts me to know something else bleeds the way I do.

It's an interesting feeling, really, to scroll through all the numbers in your phone, and realize that there is no one who will understand.

My skin is burnt but it heals my heart, with growing pride I’ll wear my scars, I am honored by you hate.--- Tera

I guess for some people its always a little easier to appreciate the rainy days instead of sunny days...

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces. Each one is different, but they're always the same. They mean me no harm but its time that I face it, they'll never allow me to change... But, I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong... I'm moving on.

Where ever I am I always find myself looking out the window wishing I was somewhere else.---Angelina Jolie

There's something about death that is comforting. The thought that you could die tomorrow frees you to appreciate your life now---Angelina Jolie

Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.---Angelina Jolie

Do you remember the days when you were a child and simply running outside made you happy? What happened to them? 

There's a girl in my mirror crying tonight and there's nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright...

I can't stop crying... I don't understand, and it's not the loud, screaming crying... it's just the tears continuously roll down my face, and I can't do anything to stop them.

Someday I'll fly away.

I can't get my wrists to bleed, just don't know why suicide appeals to me. - Alice Cooper

This isn't a perfect world. People do get hurt. You smile when you feel like crying. You act like you're ok, when you're falling apart inside. And you try to let go, you try to move on, because you know there's nothing else you could do.

I have no clue why I do what I do. It feels good to have cold metal press against my skin as my problems tear at my soul. The blood drips softly and I cry silently. No one will ever understand me except for other people like me.

Close your eyes, and imagine 5, 10, 15 years from now. You are with your husband and maybe 2, 3 or so kids and your a very happy family, and very self-full-filled and your life is perfect just the way you had always dreamed and hoped, and then your little 5 year old child asks you: "mommy, why do you have all those white scars on your arm?" and then what will you say? I used to take a razor and pull it down real slow and carefully and watch the blood drop out of my skin so that I could see that I am still alive, or so I could feel real physical pain instead of emotional pain.                                    No you can't say that to your child. And even if you do then your child will learn from you and do the same to them whenever they are feeling down. You don't really want that, now do you.

What you think is what you are. What you peruse becomes your reality.

You ask why I say nothings wrong when really everything is. You should know what wrong. You’re my friends, you’re making bad decisions and its killing me to see you suffer like you are. You just never see how what your doing effects me because you don’t care enough to look and see.

I cry then I cut, then I cry again, it never ends.

I was lost. There was nobody for me to talk to about all that you were troubling me with. So I sat alone, with everything inside, and cried myself to sleep.

When you talk about feelings, words were too stiff, they were this and not that, they couldn't include all the meanings. In defining, they always left something out.

The skin of a scar is stronger than the original, less aware of pain...

Self-injury is a sign of distress not madness. We should be congratulated on having found a way of surviving.

When I cut myself, I feel so much better. All the little things that might have been annoying me suddenly seem trivial because I'm concentrating on the pain.

Scars are tattoos with better stories.

We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.

You see her sitting there and you think 'shes so sad' but its not that shes sad, shes simply given up on pretending to be happy, shes tired of getting up every morning and putting on her fake smile, telling herself 'today will be better'. She doesnt want to be an inconvenience or a bother anymore...she has stopped looking for the light switch in the dark room she calls her life.

If you forget all else remember just this, there are people who love you and want you happy... without you their life would be empty.

In reality, I'm slowly losing my mind. Underneath the guise of smile, gradually I'm dying inside. Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly. Cause I don’t want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering. So I wear my disguise till I go home at night and turn down all the lights and then I break down and cry.

Everyone is asking me how I feel, how I am and truthfully: I feel numb. I can’t feel anything…and honestly, I like it.

Depression is such a strong emotion, it’s regret, fear, frustration, isolation, a choice, and sometimes even a form of protection.

Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space.

Why don't you just sit down, close your eyes and invent your own world? When you were little you did, even with your eyes open.

Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we all hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while and admit the truth - that when you look closely, people are so strange and complicated that they're actually beautiful. Possibly even me.

As long as you know everything is a lie then you can't hurt yourself.- Manson

Do you ever have one of those days where nothing really goes wrong but you feel like you hate the world and the smallest thing that happens can make you break down right there and cry?

Cutters are living proof that when the body is ravaged the soul cries out and when the soul is trampled upon, the body bleeds.

I'm playing a game I can't win, I keep losing and losing, why do I keep playing? To me it isn't about winning or losing, I'm just enjoying the game.

The drastic steps I'm taking are just an act of desperation, no one's gonna miss me so what the hell. I fought and lied I drank too much. Hurt everyone I ever touched, just how much I hurt you is hard to tell. It's not some kind of cry for help just good bye I wish you well because I love you I'm gonna kill myself. --- Tim McGraw

I won't leave a note for anyone to find tomorrow they will know what I've done here tonight.

Do you ever lay in bed at night hoping you wake up in the emergency room and hear the words "She’s not going to make it?"

I certainly didn't tell anyone; I didn't advertise that I was doing this, but I didn't necessarily also make sure no one could see that I was injured. In fact, I felt proud of it; I felt good about it. It was like a battle scar: it proved that I had been grievously wounded and survived. When I hid my scars, I did so because I didn't want anyone to think I was a basket case or a mental case and to look down on me or to pity me or to stop hanging out with me - leave me because they couldn't. handle me...

You know when you cut yourself really badly, it doesn't hurt at all for awhile you don't feel anything - death, our reaction to death is sort of like that you don't feel anything at all and then later on you begin to hurt.

Pull the shades - razor blades - you're so tragic. i hate you so but love you more. I'm so elastic - the things you say - games you play - dirty magic. 

I did not, you see, want to kill myself. Not at that time, anyway. But I wanted to know that if need be, if the desperation got so terribly bad, I could inflict harm on my body. And I could. Knowing this gave me a sense of peace and power, so I started cutting up my legs all the time. Hiding the scars from my mother became a sport of its own. I collected razor blades, I bought a Swiss Army knife, I became fascinated with different kinds of sharp edges and the different cutting sensations they produced. I tried out different shapes - squares, triangles, pentagons, even an awkwardly carved heart, with a stab wound at its center, wanting to see if it hurt th

First time I cut was just to feel the pain, Strange because I didn't feel a thing.

It wasn't because I wanted to die, I just wanted the pain to finally stop.

I have to cut because it's the only way I can smile.

Let me give you some advice-- if you are gonna lie about something at least make sure it's worth lying about.

I've always been the good girl. The girl whose parents that she would grow up and actually become something. But I'm not like that anymore. I never thought I'd drink or snort those pills but I guess I was wrong. Now that I've done it I don't wanna stop. It's like cutting, once you drag that blade across your skin you can't stop. You don't wanna stop. I know you wanted a perfect teenage girl but in reality there isn't one.

Those feelings that are the most painful are those ones that nobody can explain no quote can describe... and no tears or
smiles can make them go away. They're the ones that hurt the deepest the ones that last the longest and take forever to
forget about .

Sometimes I feel like no one cares. Sometimes I feel like no one is there. Sometimes I want to kill myself. Sometimes I think I need some help. Sometimes I feel like I'm alone. Sometimes I'm in an empty zone. Sometimes I feel like I'm not alive. Sometimes I wonder if I'm deprived. Sometimes I think the world should end. Sometimes I think I have no friends. Sometimes I want to make them see that sometimes I wish I wasn't me...

I'm so broken. Not half full, not half empty, not ever cracked. I'm just broken. I can't exist anymore. I can barely function. There's nothing left to me. And I don't care.

Cutting is a stepping stone for me. All my life I have been put through so much emotional pain and I’ve let myself just sit and drown in it. I can’t physically or emotionally do it anymore. So I cut. It temporarily takes my pain away until I am able to remove myself from all feeling. I am detached from everything right now... I am numb.

Please don't blame yourself for any of the stupid **** that I choose to do. None of this is your fault. I'm the one who makes these bad decisions so im the one who pays the consequences.

They didn't know that she was planning something. Most people thought she was perfectly fine. She was good at pretending...but some people knew she wasn't okay but they didn’t realize how bad it was. She would party every weekend. She was border-line alcoholic rarely going 48 hours without being 100% sober. She tried finding comfort in anything even if that meant ‘doing’ some guy she just met one night while she had been drinking.                                                                    Everyday was going by as a blur. They didn't know that she cried herself to sleep every night. They didn’t know that she had practiced cutting herself so many times. They didn’t know that she had written and rewritten letters to all the people she cared about most telling them she loved them and apologizing. She even wrote one to the person who was most important to her, who wouldn't understand what had happened because she was too young. She wanted her to know it wasn't her fault and she loved her dearly.                                                                              They just didn’t know. They found her surrounded... in her own blood. They finally knew... they finally realized that she really wasn't okay and the rumors, and the fake friends, and the guys who liked her for all the wrong reasons, and the family, and the lies, and the imperfect body that she saw that everyone else thought was close to perfect, had gotten to her. She finally had the courage to press down hard enough... and they finally knew that she planned this.

It's not how tragically we suffer but how miracously we live.

Life and death are balanced on the edge of a razor.

I'm not guna give a damn anymore... If you hurt me, I'm gonna hurt you. That's how it's gonna be from now on...

How can you hide from what never goes away?

One morning you wake up afraid to live. all becomes completely numbing, like so much pounding on a frozen paralyzed limb that bruises but no longer feels.

But then I never had to worry about crash landing because I never took off.

It was like sawdust, the unhappiness: it infiltrated everything, everything was a problem, everything made her cry - school, homework, boyfriends, the future, the lack of future, the uncertainty of the future, fear of future, fear in general - but it was so hard to say exactly what the problem was in the first place

On top of feeling sad, I also felt guilty.

I went home at night and cried for hours because so many people in my life expecting me to be a certain way was too much pressure, as if I'd been held against a wall and interrogated for hours, asked questions I couldn't quite answer any longer.

I don't care that I don't care, but I do care maybe a little bit about not caring about not caring - but maybe I do feel sorry for all the nice people whose efforts are wasted on a waste case like me. --- Prozac Nation

The have no idea what a bottomless pit of misery I am.

I did not, you see, want to kill myself. Not at that time, anyway. But I wanted to know that if need be, if the desperation got so terribly bad, I could inflict harm on my body. And I could. Knowing this gave me a sense of peace and power, so I started cutting up my legs all the time. Hiding the scars from my mother became a sport of its own. I collected razor blades, I bought a Swiss Army knife, I became fascinated with different kinds of sharp edges and the different cutting sensations they produced. I tried out different shapes - squares, triangles, pentagons, even an awkwardly carved heart, with a stab wound at its center, wanting to see if it hurt the way a real broken heart could hurt. I was amazed and pleased to find that it didn't.

There were times when she thought she didn't need to do it anymore, times when she thought she was done with it. Cutting made her feel like she was... special, like she had something. She liked having the ability to inflict pain whenever she wanted, and she liked that she could stop it. Not that she really wanted to. When she thought she was done, it made her empty, unsure if this was really living. She would ask herself if this was happiness, and told herself that if it was, she hated it. Cutting made her feel different then everyone else, but she also knew that other people did it for the same reasons, that made her feel that she was a part of something. Then there were times when the tears from her eyes burned a path down her cheek, and her throat was so tight she couldn't scream no matter how much she tried. Those times she would find relief only by cutting up her skin and bleeding out all the painful screams. The pain of living altogether flowed from one simple cut. She didn't care where she cut, arms, legs, stomach, or wrists. As long as she keeps cutting she can live to tomorrow.

You cry yourself to sleep at night I've heard your strangled sobs piercing through the darkness. Wishing I could help. You cut your self to take control. I've seen mangled scars running up your arms as plentiful as veins. Wishing I could help you starve yourself to grasp what's left I've seen you, thin and not even trying to live. Wishing I could help through all these things I've seen you, wished I could take away the pain. Then you took it away your self. I wished I could've helped.

Imperfect. That's what you can call me. After all I am me, and don't fit a certain category. I'm just a girl who lives life day by day and always manages to put a smile on my face. Even if that day I'm a complete mess.

What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it.

One of the worst feelings in the world is loneliness. Sitting in the dark by yourself in the wee hours of the night gently crying. Nobody knows what's going on with you. How could anybody realize what's happening? Everybody you know is resting peacefully in their bed awaiting the new day tomorrow. But for you, there's no difference in the days. They pass monotonously. And before you know it, it's all gone.

When it seems like everything is wrong and will never be right again remember even the darkest nights must give way to day.

The one person who really knows me best says I'm like a cat, the kind of cat that you just can't pick up and throw into your lap. Yeah, the kind who doesn't mind being held only when it's her idea. Yeah, the kind who feels what she decides to feel when she's good and ready to feel it. Now I am prowling through the backyard and I am hiding under the car and I've gotten out of everything I've gotten into so far and I eat when I am hungry and I travel alone. Just outside the glow of the house is where I feel most at home.

She cuts herself. Never too deep, never enough to die. But enough to feel the pain. Enough to feel the scream inside.



You might imagine that a person would resort to self-mutilation only under extremes of duress, but once I'd crossed that line the first time, taken that fateful step off the precipice, then almost any reason was a good enough reason, almost any provocation enough. Cutting was my all-purpose solution. My scars ought to be a charm bracelet of mnemonics, each a permanent reminder of its precipitating event, but maybe the most disturbing thing I can say about the history of my cutting is that for the most part I can't even remember the when’s and the whys behind those wounds. It didn't take much to make me cut. Frustration, humiliation, insecurity, guilt, remorse, loneliness... I cut 'em all out. They were like a poison, caustic and destructive, as though lye had been siphoned into my veins. The only way I could survive them, I thought, was to keep draining them from my blood.

How many cuts could I count? How many could I place in time and context? I had to admit that I couldn't remember the occasion of almost any of them, their catalysts, whether epic or mundane, completely obscured by time. So many moments of supposedly unendurable pain, now utterly forgotten. u start to think, Maybe I don't need this anymore. Maybe I never did I was trying to get equilibrium from two extremes: either I was so upset that I had to cut myself to relieve it, or I was so numb that I had to cut myself to get back to being there.

Let the blood run down your arms then try and tell me everything's okay.

I take the blade and run it gently against my skin, it cuts in deeper and deeper, the blood bursts out and slowly runs down my arm then it stops and the pain goes away.

Cutting doesn't solve anything or take the pain away, but for those few seconds everything is Okay...

Some times in stead of cutting an X on my wrist I make a cross so that the Lord can forgive me for destroying my body, and I also pray that the pain stops as the blood slowly drips onto my sheets.

Crimson tears run down my arm, All the pain and all the harm. My only way to let it out, I wanna scream, I wanna shout. But I don’t make a sound, I keep it inside. I wanna break out, but instead I hide. I sit in my room, and hide in my shell, The life that I’m living, my own private hell. The crimson tears, down my arm they run. I look down at my arm, what have I done?

Every word, another scar, Some people say I cut for attention, Attention is the last thing I want, I tell them I've got my reasons, But what they don't know is, They are the reason I cut, I walk the halls and people talk, Their harsh words cut in deep, Don't they know what they're doing, Every word they say is another scar on my wrist.

As she's breaking down she grabs her razor and she whispers... “this time I'm not okay...”

I never knew that one singe blade could mess up my life...

There is nothing sadder than a child who has barely seen the world, yet who has seen enough of it to know that he does not wish to be a part of it...

You're scared because you don't understand... I'm scared because I do.

“I'm okay...” isn't that what I'm supposed to say?

Depression is merely anger minus the enthusiasm.

I don't cut...
I fell...
I don't cut...
My dog bit me...
I would always tell you,
These easy lies.
When you really didn't know,
I do cut, and cry, and lie.
You don't know me,
So don't even try.

The razor moves along her wrist like a river, so peacefully, as that red water starts to escape, it’s hard to make it stop.

Nothing is more dear to them than their own suffering - they are afraid that they will lose it - They feel it, like a whip cracking over their heads, striking them and yet befriending them; it wounds them, but it also reassures them.

Why? Why do I feel so gone? I am now so distant I just don't belong. Now I'm ripped away from existence. I've become so transparent that I lost all substance. Sitting nowhere, breathing fake air. We don't feel anymore, so we can't care. Its about time I clear my throat. Let the hellish screams out till I begin to float. I'd run a million miles from here, just to get out of this cage and escape from fear. You know you're screwed when you crave pain, you wanna bleed all throughout your brain. The blood in my veins is proof of life. I'm not sure if its there, so I reveal it with a knife. Not me any more, don't know myself. Prisoner in my own skin, I no longer comprehend health. It's all in the family they used to say. It's all in the family so it must be ok. They hurt and rape her, they slash and tear her, they kill and torture, they love the terror. We are our own army so lets retaliate. Fight, destroy, show them real hate. Look at the fire in her eyes. That roaring beast never hides. She lost all she ever had. Blood seeps through her skin cause it hurts so bad. Her shattered heart pounds against her breast, scattered pieces cutting holes in her chest. Slowly she fades as she quickly she drowns. Covered in guilt, sequestered from sounds. Tilting on the edge, about to fall off. Her mind is so lacerated it has become leathery and soft.

That was when I cut my arms with a razor blade as a means of creative expression. I only did it lightly, just grazing the skin, to see the way the blood would bleed out, to make myself look tougher. Not like some of those kids who keep going deeper and deeper, wondering what they look like down to the bone, because it's a world that's so close and yet so far and so dangerous and so much their own. The only world that is their own.

How will you know I am hurting, If you cannot see my pain? To wear it on my body Tells what words cannot explain.

It requires more courage to suffer than to die.

I'm freezing, I'm starving, I'm bleeding to death, Everything's fine.

'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat. 'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be," said the Cat. 'or you wouldn't have come here.'"

Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.

"...occasionally I wished I could walk through a picture window and have the sharp, broken shards slash me to ribbons so I would finally look like I felt."

Don't let yourself become so angry that you stop loving, because one day, you'll wake up from that anger, and the person you love will be gone.

Tough times don't last but tough people do.

That's the problem with cutting. Once you start, you can't stop. It's addicting, cutting is my drug. It serves its purpose perfectly. Once I cut, I forget about everything that has been wrong. All that is left is my concentration on my cut. I forget about everything but the pain. Pain has become my world.


I have a lot more of these types of quotes... if you'd like any of them, just PM me, and I'll send you some. :)

Please don't judge people who are struggling.

"It rains the hardest on the people who deserve the most sunshine."

xxbloodyfretboardxx xxbloodyfretboardxx 18-21, F 126 Responses Sep 10, 2009

Your Response


I can't believe you wrote this in 2009 and right now in 2015 it is fresh to me. You wrote it so well that I thought am dreaming because it felt like my own words. Thanks for inspiring me. words to needs half span of life to understan the lot of hard realities n to face to dive the core of thought isn't that much was very old post....however remins fresh ever

Thank you....I read it like it was coming from my soul....All is ONE x

i knw how it feels im 20yrs old boy. and my life sucks day by day and im confused about my life. sometime i just want end my life and be free...... No one knws about wht im goin through i dont have any goal and any family dont understand me not even 1% they just want to shout shout and shout.... there words killing me inside but tht also love my so much i knw tht but they dont want to understand me.... im just dead inside im in depression but i have to live im not a coward.... I WANT TO LIVE for me.

Im not going to say "sorry" because from what ive read, that is going to sound more like a curse. I wish I could help you, but Im going through this at a younger age than what i posted. If I saw you, I'd see through your disguise and help you get through.


areyouabrokenhome?causeiam.Thisissome,icantstandithowpeoplejudgeyourehappyjustbecauseyouresmiling,theyneverreallyaskyouwhathappeneithyouorreallycuriouswhatswrongwithyoutheayreallfake,those'friends'. . . .


my gf just is getting married,so damn low here

I can feel the pain and relief. Reading this was almost like seeing something I've wrote which felt a little eerie. Like looking into a mirror. Your words were like a song to me.

very nice and true


the same as my life ... can i ask some quotes related on it?? thank you..
hope things going to be better someday

Omg..!! WOW..!!

This is sooo "me"..!!
I just know how every line u've written actually feels like..!!

But u're not alone in this..
Life goes on..
Nd things change..
Hopefully.. They'll change :)

I wish i could hug you.i know exactly how you feel. Would love to be your friend

Awww.. 💑(hugs).. I'd love to be ur frnd too..😊

Beautiful .....

OUCH ! ;'(

I'm 30 gay guy and my life is exactly what you have described above. I give up, cant go further.

every word,every sentence, its like you are in my mind. saying the things i only think and feel.and the fake smile is fading fast. thank you for sharing this piece,

xxbloodyfretboardxx I need your help

I thought i was the only one.
I just feel so out of place so lost so gone.
Idk what to do anymore.
Should i get help?
But how can i explain what im feeling to another person, when i dont even understand myself.

Someone please help.

I couldn't finish this. Not because I didn't want to but because it hit way too close to home. Pretty much summed up how I've been feeling for the last couple of months.

Good compilation of quotes. I even recognized some of the lyrics.

its sooooooooooo meeeeeeeeee:(

Life sucks, I'm living proof.
When your "soulmate" hurts you constantly and doesn't care, what direction do you turn? Do you grin and bear it while dying inside? Do you give up everything you have worked your whole life for and let them win? Or do you just say "**** it" and give up. There is no perfect answer that I can see. So I just plod along every day hoping that a miracle will happen and things will get better. Guess what? They never do and never will. If I die and go to hell it will be like a vacation for me.

Most precious words about life.... Sooo goood n touching

i feel the same. im smiling all the time and im expected to do great things. im an athlete, im a scholar and i have friends but inside im dying. my parents presssure me so much and ive made mistakes before and i was punished for them inside the four walls of my home where no one would know. im sometimes scared but i try to put on a strong face. i know i can get through this and i know i have to. your poem meant a lot to me because i understand where you are coming from. i understand the hurt and your poem made me feel better inside. although i constantly feel like my spirit is breaking, some things in the world mend it slowly back together like your words. thank you

So i feel so low right now and its all because of my ex. we broke up last year, he moved away 5 months later (abroad) and it hurt me so much i cried for 6 hours in the bathroom to the point i made myself sick and had a headach. every time i think of him i cry, no matter where i am. ive never felt like this in my life. i sometimes write about it, to make myself feel better and get on with the rest of the day. Until now i found him on twitter and hes got a girlfriend (on his prof. pic) it hurts me soo much, im in soo much pain i cant concertrate i cant even cry about it. i already feel stressed (college) and depressed now i feel even worse. my bp was taken last week and it was over 147 (im 18 yrs old btw) i feel like **** and ive never been close to anyone in my family. i want to crawl up in a corner and die

I can relate with all of your posts here.. sad to say but I'm also one of the people suffering with these kind of depression.. And wishing it stop now.. or I will be shattered into pieces if the hurt wont stop now...

You are describing me.

Thank you so much you put everything perfectly in the word and I feel you cause I walking in the same shoes right now.

im so touch.... coz till now.. still denying .. ill pretend that im okay.. but the truth im not.. yes... im also a good actress ...

o my God.... i'm so crying..i feel like this piece is mocking my life. totally real...


That's exactly the way I feel! ^^ I'm all alone, but then I would never kill myself.

Hey,<br />
Right now my life is such a mess. I'm sitting on my bed crying while reading this cause this is my life. The sadness the emptiness the feeling of giving up I mean I would never comite suicide or go that far but. My life was so perfect and now it's crazy I can't even smile anymore. I just don't wanna have to try so damn hard to just be happy. You know????

I just want to kill myself. I cut every night... I wish things could just get better or be at least okay.

I understand where you are coming from. Life continually reaffirms that I am a loser. Even my own wife has thought of admitting me to a mental institution. I have not started cutting but I have been abusing myself and I am afraid of my anger. I am very passive aggressive and I have been sabotaging my life by holding in my dissatisfaction of others onto me. In fact, many times it is transgressions against me that create drama, I am usually not the one who loses it first.<br />
<br />
There are many quotes from your piece that I felt very deeply. People hate me because I am everything they are not. I call people out and I receive hate for it. People have become so hurtful to each other that it is sen as ok (the media and such even use violence regularly) In fact, I found in the urban dictionary a different but closely sounding word, basically it is someone who should be beat up and/or kill themselves!!!!! I couldn't beleive my eyes there is actuall a word in the urban dictionary that instructs people to inflict on me!!! I feel like a loser a lot of the time so initially reading their comments, I wanted to inflict harm to the person who wrote it. <br />
<br />
I hate this ******* world. So many sick and twisted individuals in the world, sometimes I want to just explode to say the least. I hate what most peple have become: heartless, insentitive, cold, violent people; our country is overrun with violence in the streets and in our living rooms and no one seems to care, in fact many people if not the majority want to see more violence. I hope when I die I will go to a place where life is valued and cherished. Lets face it the vast majority of people are scum and will never become anything greater than their mortal self.<br />
<br />
At this point I have lost all hope and I believe that evil has taken over this world. In fact, my observations have now caused problems at home and now of course I feel guilty about it but I cannot turn a blind eye to it. Sometimes I want to disappear.<br />
<br />
**** this world I have become numb yet compelled to care. I don't want to have faith in humans because the amount of struggles I have gone through. No one understands this except for you and the handful who commented here. I feel the hate all around and sometimes I feel I am better in a mental institution. Just a t.v., tetris, and some trees to walk around and talk myself out of killing myself.<br />
<br />
I am the one no wants once they get to know me. I have never had a problem with women but as soon as get to know me, they run away. My current relationship is very tumultuous and such, many times provoked. I do not ask for problems, they find me. Of course I am the abuser who should rot in jail, right, where the masses do not have to hear about my problems with the world, where everyone can go living their mundane existences in the pursuit of money and power.<br />
<br />
The baby boomers sold America out 30 some years ago and it is downhill from here. I have been unemployed for close to three years with a few rip off clients along the way. Many say they do the right thing while ignoring the earths fragility and the fact that instead of the lives of those who currently live in destitute being improved, our corporate culture has selected a few to control the masses and the masses willingly accept their fate except for me, the hero, the one no one cares about, the one who shows no mercy, the one, the truth, my truth. <br />
<br />
**** this violent world. These barbarians and sell outs can have each other, maybe if there is a GOD I will find place to live out this repeatedly torturous life I lead where I continually sacrifice myself for others and practice martyrdom. May I be forgiven for my thoughts as I wrestle with the actions of those evil doers that surround me. The ones who look away, those who prey.<br />
<br />
Living is fear is all we know. We smile, but inside we hate. At least those who fake it. I live in L.A.. the fakest of them all. Be warned, raise a child here and beware of weird they become. This place is a place where few care and even less can help. Did I mention it is all about who you know and those I knew all ****** me. I am at the point to where I have given up hope, now I accept that I may be tested and how I respond will determine my future. Maybe I can be just a little less ****** up.

I could feel your pain because I know your pain. It's having the hunger, but never the satisfaction. It's having the passion, but no outlet. It's seeing what you want, but never touching it. It's like being one wall seperated from happiness and not being able to find the door. It feels so real even when it's only in your head. Griffin & Sabine. It's a long drive on a lonely road when you're just looking for company. It's over hearing someone else have the best sex you've ever had. It's painful, deep, and provocative.

I ought to say that I've never felt so understood than when I read this. <br />
<br />
I read It all & at many points through out It, i felt like crying. <br />
<br />
Thanks for putting this up, its amazingly needed at times. Really.

I cried reading this it made me face everything and I thank I always smile and there is nothing to smile about and I hope the sunshine comes soon

exactly wat im feeling inside.......!!!! 10z....!! gud luck.... :)

Thank you guys for commenting!! If you need an ear, message me. :)

sorry one question what means of "four am" you mention in the first quotes? is it the time of dying the subject in the quotes or theres other deep meaning?

thanks for your quotes. me and your quotes is like one like same.

thanks for your quotes. me and your quotes is like one like same.

I thought not much but i knew a lot that there were others who cry even more if i can hug you am doing it and now i pray cause i have not use enough of my faith for more of us i feel less of what i had cause now i know i heard you and you are crying more and the tears will dry up when i tell you, you was born alone,and you can do it on your own so if we can believe that you need you and try for you do for you care for you and live for you and you love you only God and you will matter. so don't let thoughts of sorrow take whats yours or what is going on or what went on this is you so fight for you.

Thank you so much for putting this up! I was starting to think i was alone in feeling this way. I am so sorry for the people that go through this everyday becuase i know the struggles i go though everyday, feeling like i will never be good enough and crying myself to sleep every night. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. somedays i would wish i could wake up in the emergncy room and here the doctor say she is not going to make it..... I otfen wounder if my family and friends lives would be better if iwas no longer here. I feel like i am such a burden on people and i dont like feeling that way. I used to think of ways i could commet suicide but evertime i would think about it my dad would pop into my mind and how hard he took the news of my uncle killing himself and that stopped me everytime. Thank you again for showing me that i am not the only person going through this<br />
<br />
<br />

this explains everything i feel inside that no one understands. i wanted to no if i could repost this on an internet site called Quizazz so everyone will no how i feel and stop bullying me. i always express my self in writing but it never seem to explain everything. Is it okay to repost?

i think this realy somes up how i feel inside wen no one understands. i wanted to no if i could repost this on an internet site called quizazz so everyone i no will understand hopefully and stop bullying me. iv always express how i feel in typing but it never seems to explain everything

i can see my self in you.. :( , but im not planning to commit suicide.. i can still handle everything..

i can see my self in you.. :( , but im not planning to commit suicide.. i can still handle everything..

OMG! <br />
<br />
thanks for all theses words!<br />
but you're not alone!<br />

im not happy today...sat still the samething waiting for nothing....

I just read this and it made me cry, this basically explains my life perfectly...and im 14. is that bad?

Maybe, maybe not. I'm going to message you. Let's talk.

i heart you...i can really relate on this thanks much!

No problem, love.

i never had such a good places for quotes..i love it ..thanx

No problem.

i never had such a good places for quotes..i love it ..thanx

you pretty much hit the nail on my head when i went to the doc to ask for antidepressants. i relate. hugs :)

I used to feel the same way 5 years ago... when I was 18 years old, I was in great depression and felt bad and sad about myself almost all the time. I kept smiling outside but screamed inside. I didn't know what's going on with me. The emptiness inside,.. no words could describe it and no one could understand one!! <br />
But I keep struggling and survive untill now I am 23 years old. Right now, the past is just history but I really do know how they feel. It's just the matter of time and faith in God. <br />
<br />
Thank's for this quotes, somehow they remind me about my past and the darkness I can't never ever forget for the rest of my life.<br />
<br />
I am sorry for my bad English, because I am Indonesian.<br />
God Bless You<br />
<br />

Your English is fine! I hope you're doing better.

Totally get this. Some times I feel like this and then some. I'm doin my best. But some times I feel like such a failure. Being a parent alone is hard. Especially when the ends aren't meeting.

I feel the same way nobody understands.They get the wrong idea from what I share.I'm not good with words,so I can't get the message across.It makes me feel hopeless.I don't have many friends. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one.

So inspirational...

thanks i just want somebody to care

I am sorry you feel this way...

This is very nice! Thank you

This is very nice! Thank you

thankss for dat..used to feel dat all dis pain is filled inside me dat can never be shown in words..wen i read dis..i cired..a lot..partly coz of wat i read n how i showed my entire life in front of me..n partly coz it made me realise d true pain filled in me..yet to come out<br />
<br />
i dont know words r gonna help me or not..but dey brought me face to face wid d lie i've been life.<br />
<br />
thanks for writing dis..n bless google for bringing me to dis

Im very shocked at this moment because this is exactly how i feel to the honest truth, im going through the most painful stituation of my life and i dnt know wat to do, im hurting very day, i cry almost very night,i thought i was the only person in the world going through hell but some how i found my self on this site, on this page reading every word carefully and as i continue to ready more by eys brighten, the sun came out brighter and im feeling i little bit better, im now convincing my self to realize that im not the only person in the world hurting this bad. Thank U very much tooo the person that wrote this. I feel so relief.

Im very shocked at this moment because this is exactly how i feel to the honest truth, im going through the most painful stituation of my life and i dnt know wat to do, im hurting very day, i cry almost very night,i thought i was the only person in the world going through hell but some how i found my self on this site, on this page reading every word carefully and as i continue to ready more by eys brighten, the sun came out brighter and im feeling i little bit better, im now convincing my self to realize that im not the only person in the world hurting this bad. Thank U very much tooo the person that wrote this. I feel so relief.

Hello. I'm just leaving a thought here about how strong and true these sayings and quotes are. That's because I feel same way about the most! Externally brilliant lines here.<br />
Keep believing and the true light will set us all free.

this is so cool ..


what can i say??<br />
awesome words !!<br />
thanks , i feel better after reading it !

Everything you said is what I am going through right now. Except that you actually have friends I have no one I am not even at rock bottom I am still falling and yet I have a long ways to go. I am only 13 and still have scars on my face from my parents and scars on my hearts from all that I have loss. And I do not mean by people dieing I mean that I am dieing slowly painfully inside where it mattewrs most. I go to sleep crying so tired of all the crying I wake up depressed and scared to go to school for there is where I hurt the most for there is where I get bullied the least for there is where I dread to go. Always hurting. Never happy. It is an endless cycle of life that I dont want to be in. Please email me about what you have been through for I have gone through really hard times to.;(

Wow, I read your entire story beginning to end, this story related to me a lot, even more than you can imagine and, I do envy you and your creativity, you were very deep and concrete. I did also notice that, this story was from a couple of years ago but, I will say that this helped a lot and, if you ever find that life is depriving you of the joys of life, people like me will be preying for your well being .

uhhh.. its life... it depends the way you think... each one ... has enough problems to commit suicide... as you have a lot of reason to live for .. even though you got troubles.. but still.. a lot of things make you happy... "life" it is soul life.. whenever you think this way.. then your soul is dead.. then go die its better... nothing in this life worth sadness... always for your past .. your present and your future.. live to please yourself at least.. take the troubles out of your head..and try to go out take deep breath.. and look around.. i bet you will see everything worth a smile :)

If winter is when it is the worst, you may have a problem with seasonal depression? You might want to check into that, if possible.<br />
I'm glad you have an escape to which you can turn to.<br />
However, in my belief, there is an "Escape" which is bigger and more rewarding than skateboarding: Jesus Christ.<br />
Don't feel guilty for having an adventure in sleep!

i've felt all those things too, i dont cut to get rid of the pain tho, i get high, id rather b numb than feel the aganizing guilt and sorrow but usually towards the end of my high the numbness drives me insane, at least wen im sober and in pain i can feel music and the slight relief i get from certain people, im doin alright rite tho, the winter is when it is the worst, i feel trapped in the same episode of a boring tv show that repeats everyday, i fell like i am an inslaved actor but now it is getting warm and i can escape to the one thing that truly makes me happy,(skateboarding) it is the ultimate high, the adrenalin makes me forget of everything, i still struggle a lot with my depression and self hate at school but atleast i hav something lo look florward to besides sleep or death, in the winter the only thing i hav to look forward to besides death is sleep, i can b completely unconscious and not hav to take responsibility for anything currently happening, my dreams often point out som of the causes of my grief but i can usually forget those parts and just focus on the adventure i dont hav to feel guilty for having

What are you doing?

oh i appreciate this qoutes i really love it and this qoutes now i know what i am doing,,.,.,

oh i appreciate this qoutes i really love it and this qoutes now i know what i am doing,,.,.,

You're very true, josephmmurray... unfortunately, a lot of people feel this way.

ive read all of this, it does give me some comfort to know in every way i feel, i am not at all alone, but at the same time, thats a depressing fact in itself, ohwell

very true and honest. i can relate to most of them. <br />
it's very hard to express the feelings... <br />
kind of feel connected to know that <br />
there are still some people who can understand. <br />
<br />
i've lived with pain of regret which is a terrible thing. <br />
<br />
"If you hold back your feelings because you are afraid of getting hurt, you end up hurting anyway."<br />
<br />
thanks for the quotes! i can see and feel them very well. they reflect my past. i have to say it again, Thanks!!

I'm sure you're not the only one...

i could relate to so many of dis quotes.. its like yew knw exactly wat its goin through my head <br />
yew should put some more of does quotes it made me feel better to knw daat im not da only one goin through some hord stuuf dat im not da only one dat sometimes wishes all dis pain would end dat im not da only one dat has been hurt so many times dat doesnt want to feel anymore

I'll do my best.

I need you. I need your sincerity. I need your love. Please need me, I feel like you.

Tarun, I think you're mostly right... although I believe that one "Other" can know us better than we know ourselves. God. He made us, therefore, He loves us and knows how we work, what makes us tick, and what turns us off. <br />
I think most of these feelings come from an attack from Satan, or a lack of communication/communion with God. Personal opinion. <br />
Thanks for your comments.

Hey..! Those are very nice and touching quotes...<br />
I though feel the same way as you are but there is something somewhere inside me that always say to me that no 'Tarun' you are wrong.... and you know what at only those times I really able to gave time for myself..thinking about myself... becz rest of the time I only think that I am a sink and evrybody are source of pain. But at some point of time you have to start loving yourself... give importance to urself more than others... keep urself at the top of priority list...<br />
Although it is human tendency to expect returns for their investments but it doesn't happen in case of emotions.... you have to realize that you are on you own.... happiness or sadness is not what it comes to you itself but that is what you have to create for yourself.... you have to discover your own ways to be happy... and at time to be sad for change :P<br />
My genuine advice to you, myself and people like us... "Do whatever makes you happy.. dont bother much what other thinks... pain is just a change to your monotonous life.... take it that way only... look at the positives and learn from the negatives... do not over expect from someone.. and start giving importance to urself.....keep in mind what you did...what to do.. and what are ur future plans rather than what others did to u... what they will be going to do..... No one can understand you better than yourself... Define your own ways to be happy :) "

Thank you! I'm glad they help. <br />
Cutebabes: I'm so glad that helped you. *hugs*<br />
fhaieya: I'm very happy that they helped you. I hope everything works out for you--whatever you're struggling with.

I love it!! very nice!!:D