What Is Happiness?

"Not too long ago, I would proudly exclaim that happiness isn't a pursuit.

But what is happiness?

I hear so many answers from materialism to hedonism to "happiness is here, now".

I'm happy. But it's not the kind of happiness I see when I see my peers and friends laughing and joking and exclaiming that they're "awesome" or that they seem to have a charmed life. That's pleasure. It's not something I feel when I'm still or in meditation. No, I feel peace, I feel steady, I feel greater awareness, greater clarity, I feel calm. It's not something I feel when I'm in the midst of pursing my dreams. That's enthusiasm.

Yet I'm happy. I don't know why I'm happy. I'm just like everyone else. I don't get the greatest grades in the world nor do I have the highest GPA. I have few friends, I don't have much money, I haven't reached my goals or fulfilled my dream yet. I'm just...happy.

Sometimes I'm sad, sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I'm disappointed. Maybe it's hope. Maybe what makes me feel a deep seated happiness is hope or confidence that I can change my circumstances, or self-determination and the willingness to push towards what I want. Maybe the pursuit in and of itself makes me happy.

Maybe happiness is the overall journey.
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Oct 7, 2012