It's Very Lonely Being A Hare Krishna

I started using a wheelchair a few years ago and live in the UK and now I can't mmet with my godbrothers because there is no access for me. I am in quite a lot of pain and struggle to get out and visit anyone. Sometimes I get so very lonely and wish I had someone to talk to about Krishna but haven't had that experience for 4 years now. There is a coldness about the "we are not this body philosophy" which I believe wholeheartedly because your not supposed to complain if you are suffering. Please be more compassionate.

Anandadas Anandadas
41-45, M
14 Responses Feb 21, 2010

Dear Anandadas, please accept my dandavats, all glories to Srila Prabhupada!<br />
I cannot claim at all to understand the pain you are going through, bodily or emotionally. But I wanted to share a quote by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta with you, which maybe will help?<br />
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"When you are on your own, you should always read literatures written by vaisnavas. This will, in itself, enable you to reap the benefit of listening to harikatha from the lips of the devotees."<br />
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So even though you are somewhat stuck without association and missing Srila Prabhupada, nevertheless you have his books to help you and to give you association. <br />
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Also I have one friend with chronic back troubles, and she also has trouble with devotees who just do not understand. She lies down a lot and just chants, and that helps her a lot.<br />
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Praying that some relief comes to you - <br />
Radhe Radhe!

Hare Krishna Anandadasa,<br />
<br />
I am anubhavananda dasa, I was formerly initiated by Prabhupada in 1971 in portland. and I have been disabled since birth with really not a good enough nervous system or memory to drive a car or hold a job. My opinion is like yours about being more compassionate and not at all judgemental about what we see in others behavior, devotee or non devotee. Really it's the duty of our guru to chastise us when he sees fit, we really need to study how perfectly Krishna consciouse we are ourselves before we try to even constructively critisise someone for his good. Believe me its a most rare soul who is really qualified to see where we are at and how to guide us in our spiritual lives and I believe you are being guided nicely by supersoul from what I have read from you. I really wish I could visit you and communicate with you not online. I can tell your a very humble and intelligent person and you see I'm really suffering alone most of the time myself and most devotees don't understand our experience because their working and trying to take care of a family and unfortunately have to get too involved with non devotees most of the time and many hardly associate with devotees at all if at all. I see very nice Prabhupada centered devotees about every week and this for me is a most ecstatic time but when I get back home, its just back to this lonely karma I have to suffer. But you see when Prabhupada was physically present on the planet I lived in temples and had devotee association all the time until around 88 and so it wasn't possible to get so lonely or in maya too much living with devotees but then when Prabhupada left the scene everything went crazy because the real understanding of what Prabhupada wanted was covered up and lost when these usurpers took over. So now the fact is there is alot of suffering devotees like us because Prabhupada said we needed the association more than anything for our spiritual lives and in a cooperating spirit to keep our vows and keep Prabhupada's movement in the standard he wanted, studying and really knowing Prabhupada's original translations and not changing them more every year. But I am not in to the attack mode, really Prabhupada said our first duty was to save ourselves, because a man bound can not free anyone else. In a real vedic society factually the elderly woman and the disabled are always protected and taken care of, the cows are very carefully and lovingly cared for and protected, no living being is really neglected in the vedic system where devotees are always sanctifying the atmosphere with transcendel glorification of Krishna and his pure devotees. Right now everything is topsy turvey and we have to see Prabhupada said we are always getting Krishna's mercy, a devotee sees everything equally, loss and gain, happiness and distress much because he has transcended the dulaities of material existence but when we are not transcendental we have to just tolerate and Prabhupada said a devotee when he's in peril he feels he should really be suffering alot more and Krishna is miminising it because of his devotion. But this is a most exalted consciousness really but still we have to just try to keep purifying our consciousness by always chanting which is the essense of our philosophy and try to wake up our Krishna consciousness which is really a fully satisfied kind of consciousness where ever we may be. We need to believe that platform is there and try as hard as we can to wake it up, because is it the very essense of every soul. I've had alot of awsome Krishna consciouse experiences and I still get them by just trying to absorb myself in sing vaishna prayers, our only business really is more than anything else just begging to Prabhupada and the charyas to drag us back to Krishna Prabhupada said we can not approach Krishna directly we are too impure we have to beg for the mercy of those that really have it to give because they are superhuman transcendental personalities, the really fully Krishna consciouse personalities and Gaura Nitai Prabhupada said are the only hope for the hopeless...I myself my freiend really wish I could be there for you but please believe Prabhupada is with you, you can really feel that the more you do like him and really chant Krishna's names helplessly like a infant to its mother, Prabhupada said we must know God is dancing right on our tongs when we chant and the more we hear Krishna we will see him and remember his pastimes and assist him ultimately in his pastimes. My email address is

Thank you for your wonderful words.......Jaya Prabhupada

Please feel free to contact me any time also<br />
thank you very much indeed, Radhe Radhe

Haribol, I live in Costa Rica, and sometimes I dont have much access either to krishna devotees, I can say an afternoon reading of the bhagavad-gita, meditation, and prasadam does make me feel close to krishna, but sometimes I do feel the need of sharing. anyways you can always write to me, I would feel happy to listen to you. jay radhe radhe.

I don't think you have got a clue about my life and how I am on a day to day basis unless you have any mystical powers, which you may I don't know. I haven't gone into any detail about my experiences but trust me I've tried for help. I'm not here to slag any society or Matha but there is a coldness about the way devotees treat each other trying to not be on the bodily concept of life or showing emotions cause that is maya. Bhakti devi enters our hearts and purifies us so there is no need to pretend your not on the bodily concept of life, purity will happen all on its own. Describing my emotions as pathetic is just another example of the coldness that I describe about which makes us so un-Samaritan like. How many religions would ignore the pleas of a man in a wheelchair because of chronic pain, when they desire their association for inspiration, if you think that pointing out my faults is fair and just etc then what more can I say? You really believe Krishna will be rolling over at my and other peoples suffering, Srila Prabhupada was a perfect example of compassion, he never rolled over at the sufferings of the material world. What he did was out of compassion only, maybe we should focus on this side of our devotional life then maybe our hearts will be soft enough for Bhakti Devi to enter our hearts. Then maybe we will get a taste of real love...prema!

It's been a repeated observation that persons associated with ISKCON (I'm assuming that is your background?) always come away disappointed and hurt emotionally. You have such a habit of lamentation it's actually quite pathetic. Please take this as medicine, born of compassion for a fellow devotee. <br />
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I relatively recently became acquainted with Prabhupāda and one of his most sincere and devoted disciples. His name is David Bruce Hughes (Gaurahari Dāsānudās Bābājī) and he has put together a great inline site complete with community, university, etc. The site is and if you are qualified, you can join the community and university by invitation. <br />
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Cheer up. Kṛṣṇa is probably rolling over seeing you full of pity and impurity! If you desire transcendence, Kṛṣṇa will grant it. <br />
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love always,<br />
Bhakta Parker

I'm too ill to go many places plus because I'm nobody within the Hare Krishna world/society nobody wants anything to do with me. Don't get me wrong I haven't gone around upsetting anyone or anything like that. One good thing is that I can never get involved with any politics or bitching which I kept seeing all the time. At least I'm not going around with an indian accent or imitating the behaviour of sadhus, when really I'm of no value to anyone. My experience of loneliness has made me realise how the basics of faith need working on before trying to jump to the level of purity, like how to treat each other like human beings and caring for those who suffer instead of just saying "it's just your karma prabhu". I've asked for help and association off my godbrothers/godsisters but it never happens so now I've given up asking for anything. I would relish having someone to talk to about Krishna and would be grateful no matter what. Just talking on a computer is very tiring and just not the same as in person.

Dear Devotees, <br />
<br />
Hare Kṛṣṇa! Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Śrīla Prabhupadā! All glories to Śrī Bābājī!<br />
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This is a big downer story; so much lamentation. However, there is a basis for the longing for association. Association is so necessary for devotees. We all need friends and sincere listeners, persons we can have meaningful and uplifting interactions with. <br />
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Why not work on obtaining association again? <br />
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love always, <br />
Bhakta Parker

Iguess the point I was trying to make is that your situation is obviously very distressing. It is a temporary condition, though that perspective is hardly of any use to you now.<br />
There are still great souls in the world that can accomplish the miraclous. If you accept the spiritual journey of karma, you must accept that all of our maya based illusions have purpose and value to our process of shedding karma. I do believe that Krsna will be merciful and help you find any small comforts you can.<br />
I wasn't very clear in my earlier post. I just wanted to encourage you that there is purpose in your experience and there is mercy available to you. I hope you will find it and I will keep you in my thoughts.

Dear hezpa Haribol, I am a bit confused to the point of your comment because it almost sounds like your telling me that I should be very humble and not beg for the association of like minded persons but the philosophy can make a person act in very cold ways because of the "we are not the body philosophy" which if you look at the past teachers over the many years is not the way they behave. I remember hearing of great personalities wishing they could remove the suffering of all living entities by taking on board their karma, now why would great souls pray like this. So tell me why my desire to get the association of my godbrothers is hindered because of my disability and all I get is "your in maya". Those persons that tell me I'm in maya are stating the obvious which can be quite patronising to be honest and missing the whole point of the teachings cause it's not said with prema (spiritual love) in mind is it. If we all behaved properly then how do you think or expect a disabled Hare Krishna to behave if they can't get to visit anyone because of the disability due to lack of access and facilities etc? It's almost victorian in the way disabled needs are met or not met. One problem I have is that I can't sit on the computer all the time and make friends on here because I get very ill after a while because I am in chronic pain all the time and need to lay down a lot. So a big thankyou to all the nice people asking to stay in contact on here, it is very much appreciated and those that show that sort of kindness are the ones who have understood the purpose or goal in their hearts. Thankyou for being there!!!!<br />
Radhe Radhe

Not long after I embraced Krsna consciousness, I accepted that I am not this flesh and as such have no fear of physical death. I dwelled on this for sometime until I was very comfortable with the idea.<br />
One day, I went walking in the woods near a river. I was feeling very calm and relaxed and as I was in mid stride, I suddenly heard the warning hiss of a snake. I instantly froze with one foot in the air. I was instinctively frightened. Even consciously aware that this fear of bodily harm was contradictory to my new found fearlessness, it was very much a part of my immediate experience.<br />
There was a 7 foot cottonmouth coiled up and ready to strike had I put my foot down. I could actually sense the spot on my shin that it would have struck. I very slowly backed away and stood patiently until it left the area. It was a long walk out of the woods as I carefully inspected the ground before each step.<br />
I had time to ponder the apparent failure of my new philosophy as I walked. I came to realize that my consciousness may not be the prisoner of my flesh, but the body has a consciousness all it's own. It has a biological drive to survive and report injury to the consciousness that drives it. <br />
I could hear the wind in the trees, but I swear it sounded like Krsna's amused laughter as I confronted the seemingly incompatible concepts of the fear of the body's demise and the freedom from that fear.<br />
My point is this: We are not of this world, but the power of Maya is very strong and we must remain mindful that the transitory sensations we experience as incarnated entities are not the eternal reality of spirit that is our ultimate truth.<br />
Manage your pain and be merciful with those that spout scripture in the mode of ignorance. It's very easy to attempt to elevate oneself by looking down on others. I've seen too many people fall victim to this insidious form of pride. Ask Krsna for what you need, He listens.<br />
Namaste, brother. Hare Krsna, Hare Rama.

Anandadas, I am so very sorry to hear this. Yes, sometimes devotees can get very hard hearted about this 'not your body' thing to those who are not feeling well. Thing is, its usually those in good health, oir at least not suffering in our particular way, who speak like this. Because realization in the head, and living it, don't always go together. :) The philosophy may remain true but our hard heartedness is not the idea a Vaisnava should have. Anyway, I have an egroup that teaches Reiki, Krishna-ized. Tho one can post a healing request there, its more for learning, more school-like. And its fun! Oh, but everyone is on their own, self teach. It also offers Yogic Prayer lessons, and recently have been adding Mantra healing (chanting Vedic mantras to assit the healing process). <br />
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Not sure if its ok to put links here but I think so. If it gets removed, just do a search for "Krishnas Distance Healers" at <br />
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Since I've recnetly had some trolls and rascals try to get in, there's now a form to fill out - but no big deal. Anyway, not attached to you or anyone joining - just wanted to make the offer. Do what you need to do for you. <br />
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Wishing you all the best.<br />
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YS,<br />
Prtha dd

Haribol! Greetings from Stockholm. You could always write me, I'm a Krsna's friend since many years back.

I'm sorry you feel such pain. Expressing your needs in dealing with your pain is a far cry different from "complaining". You need support. Maybe if you started sharing your feelings and experiences here you find at least some of the support you are seeking. I'm not familiar with Krishna, but I would love to know more. I hope you share some stories. ((Peace and compassion) to you.)