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Basically My Whole Family Hates Me

between my brother and i, i am the reject out of the two. i can remember when i was just a little kidd that my mom wouldnt ever hug me when my brother and i got bacc from staying with our grandparents. she would run to my brother with open arms, telling him how much she missed him and how much she loves him. once i got a little older and into middle school thats when i realized that no matter how hard i tried noone in my family would think i was good enough. in the beginning i was failing almost all of my classes, but in the second half of the year i turned them around and was getting at least a b in all of them. when i told my grandparents this they said that my brother was getting all a and that i could do much better. once in highschool thats when the **** hit the fan, i met a guy who was 3 years older than me and we fell in love, after a few months of being together i found out i was pregnant. once that got to my father he told my grandparents, they told me that i was a little **** and that i was going to go to hell because i had sex and got preggo without being married, so him and i got engaged. that made them even more mad because this guy was almost 19 and had a criminal record and i was only 15 and had a juvinile record. so after being forced to have an abortion me and my family grew more and more apart, they all called me a **** and treated me as such. even though my mother, aunt, and granmother all had abortions and werent married when they were pregnant. so after getting bacc into school i was getting pretty good grades (lowest was a c) and i was trying to get bacc on my familys good side. they still decided i wasnt good enough for them, and i never would be. then more disaster, my fiance got sent to prison (god thing i had that abortion after all). i would have had my baby boy Tyler only a few months after he was sentanced to 3 years in prison. when my granparents found this out they were beyond pissed, they called me every name in the book. (even though they are some of the most conformist Christians ever.) so still to this day they bring up the past and end up making me feel like more of a failure in life, and making me feel more unwanted and hated in the family.
notafraidtotakeastand notafraidtotakeastand 18-21, F 9 Responses Apr 28, 2011

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**** them. They are insane. I bet you're one of the best people. You have no idea why they did this to you. It happened to me. We're better than them. How much of a FAILURE is a family who rejects their own member. Can't even do the easiest thing in the world. LOVE your family. Getting you through whatever was happening to you should have been their goal. Not alienating you. They are the failures. You will struggle with this out of the blue or maybe each day for the rest of your life emotionally. There'll be times (months or years even) without it bothering you. You can do it. Be happy and love your family wherever you might find it. Also, let me extend this family member-type of advice. Pick someone and a circle of friends who is worthy of you. And treat yourself as something to cherish, so be cautious, courteous, and very gentle with yourself in who you choose. They may have all the best intentions but you owe it to yourself and your future children to be safe. Much love to you!

We're the same hated,ignored...i know how it feels and it HURTS A LOT so just be patience and wait until you're free from your family and get a job a life.when you're successful...you can get out of their life and don't give a **** when they need you back since they hate you so much..Stay Strong!!

Nothing wrong with you. It's your mother and her problem. You can live and enjoy your life without family. Plenty of people care for you and you are do young and have a long life ahead to meet new friends

Thank you it means a lot to hear that from someone.

Hey...Im the same here...im a guy...my whole family forces themselves to be good to me..but behind me, they talk pure **** about me. My parents are separated, and I don't live with my dad. From small I've been told lies that made me believe less in him. But now im 21 and when I think of it, ,its not my dad, but the other person one would call mother. My younger brother has always been the better choice.a straight a student, no wrongs. ..my own mother calls ne an elephant. Anything that goes wrong,im tthe scape goat. Everything that goes wrong is my fault. I literally dont have anyone. I know how you feel .you're not alone.

Hi Direstraghts92, WOW! Since I posted in October my life has changed so much for the better. I believe your mother is much like my mother. They are not capable of love. They do not really love themselves, and they can pick and choose why they give the tiny bit of love they can muster up to. I have been meditating daily for 20 min, and I have used incense to "clear my living space" I feel so happy now. I have not spoken to my parents and sisters, and nieces and nephews in 3 years and I know my life is better without them in it. No One will cross my mother and defend or support me. I am a 45 year old female and my life choice is now paying off. Google Abraham Hicks. I would love for you to see what that is all about. Law of Attraction- if you put out love you get love....if you are living with negativity and getting darts of arrows thrown at you, you tend to think you deserve it and so on..... You need to love you and show love and it will be given back to you. And actually the laws of attraction can bring about changes in Job success, financial, and just the road to overall happiness. It all starts with you and it all can start today! Good luck to you fellow balck sheep!!
oh also.....if your mother dislikes you, alot of times the "pack of wolves" will not go against her and protect you, there are alot of times when they all stay with the mama and the black sheep (you in this case) feel unworthy. Please remember that you are SOOOOOOO worthy and YOU are all that really matters at the end of each day! XOXO

Hi Notafraidto take stand. I also am a black sheep and my Aunt who chose to live her own independant life was chastized and was a black sheep too. If is a shame we can not be supported in whatever we do in life. I know that my friends parents would have been supportive of what they have done. We black sheep have not been codled and loved therefore we must have the strength to stand up for ourselves and move on. I am a bit older than you and I really hope you are on a happy path and accept this avenue that is likely the hand that has been dealt for you. God loves you and I have learned to take the strength to find comfort in things like the Serenity Prayer......for the courage to go it alone and love yourself. I find strength and peace and confort in Arch Angel Michael when i feel afraid for my life..............God has blessed you in many ways but yes, we are likely black sheep and need to embrace that fact and have the courage to go through life with other black sheep who have been there too! Big Hugs!!

your not the only one in this predicament. alot of people are. i was and all i did was live on the streets after moving out and didnt associate with family much after that. it wasnt until 5 years later we all joined as family again due to the death of my mother. i do regret all that has happpened but no matter what i did in those 5 years to try make it work, it just wasnt good enough

I have learned to meditatate and take positive energy and use it for me, the heck with them. Get the bad vibes of theirs out of your life and contininue to grow and flourish in your life here on earth! to me because I am a black sheep too and outspoken but a true giving and loving person, i have learned and accepted that Family means nothing. Loved ones are my posse- my birth people do not give me love and respect I deserve. So i take care of me and the the ones who do understand me and love me! it really feels good to have tapped into lifes energy. Try to meditate - go on to Deborah Kings website. she will have you feeling positive about yourself and your life and releasing bad energy real quick!
with the God Power in me I say it is so... and so it is! do not let others drag YOU
DOWN!! i hope I have helped you today Lots of Love, Linda

I too am hated by my family. I've become to accept that it must be something to do with me. They have always regarded me as being the disposable one. When there was conflict, I was the one that got blamed and thrown to the wolves even when I have witnesses and proof that I was the right one. I hate myself. I hate that I'm unlovable, I hate that the kids have me for a mother. I hate that the one person I thought loved me is mean to me and won't stand up for me or comfort me. I hate being alone. I've been to support groups and everyone says they'll stay in touch but they don't. I hate me. I scratch and dig my face and arms because i want the outside to look like the inside. My life sucks and I want it over. but i feel stuck by my kids. I can't leave them but don't want to live with all this pain anymore. Any suggestions? I have been hospitalized twice, am on meds, and received EMDR for ptsd with my psychotherapist. But I just want the pain to end...NOW!

God fearing christians my *** you are better away from that lot, religous freaks drive me insane.

I want to say that they mean well....that they have your best interest at heart. But I'm not sure that's true. Just because they are family doesn't mean that you all have to get along and like each other. Growing up in my cold, dysfunctional family, I was surprised to hear that my grandmother didn't speak with several of her siblings, and that other family members didn't get along. Well, fast forward a few years, and I became the "black sheep" of the family, and haven't really had much to do with them in years.

But you seem to have made some bad choices as well. You can't get away with bad juvenile behavior when you're an adult. Your boyfriend being incarcerated is and example of that. Hopefully, he will learn something from this, and straighten out his life. It's hard enough getting a decent job these days, without the weight of a criminal record behind you.

When you can, you should probably move away. Far away. You don't need to be around people who only want to tear you down, and not build you up.

(steps down off my soap box)

Oh, and, I must say....I absolutely LOVE that picture of you in the wet, pink diaper. It's wonderful Just wonderful.