I guess i'm writing this because my birthday is coming up soon and i will be 25. I never thought i would be five years from 30. Most my age are far more advanced than i am. I am 25, still in college with no idea of what to do, no job experience really which means I really don't have a lot of social interactions. I have been screwing around for the last 7 years avoiding responsibility. I feel like i'm just sitting in bed wasting my life away, smoking pot and fulfilling myself with things to keep me satisfied for the moment. I have been single now for two years and I feel the pressure now to meet people, but the problem is I don't have any outlets to meet people. I don't really want to either, it's like work to me and I don't know how to act. I need to develop a life but it's so hard. When i do have things to do during the day I get depressed and bored with the routine and i end up hating everything. I don't know if i'll ever be happy. I don't want to get older because getting older means being someone I can't be.
LucidxDreams LucidxDreams
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 8, 2012

I totally feel what you are saying. I graduated in 2009, but didn't really do anything with it. I just moved a few blocks closer to the beach, smoked more pot, and kept waiting tables. 3 Years later, I've had some great times, thrown the best parties, gone to some wonderful concerts, but I'm not really sure where this is where I imagined myself. I'm mostly broke, I was with someone, and I thought that was it, but it got really messy and she moved out, and I've been wondering where my life is heading. I'm turning 26 in October, 26! Like whoa, I feel like I'm still 22 or 23, I should have my stuff together more by now.<br />
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But I'm moving forward, looking for opportunities, I haven't smoked in 5 weeks, I highly recommend it. My memory and thinking skills have returned, and although I'm more anxious and stressed about life, I don't' have anything to escape with, so I'm forced to deal with it and come up with solutions about where I want to be. And I've also realized its going to take time, change doesn't happen over night. I know where I want to be in 6 months, and I've got to get through each day to get there.<br />
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So hang in there, I know its crazy, but we knew we'd get older one day. If you want someone to talk to, definitely hit me up, I've been thinking about this sort of thing a ton the last few months.<br />
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I know you feel lost just by what you have written but look at all the people that have been out in the workplace that have lost their jobs and now are having to retrain for new jobs. They are generally much older than you; I read somewhere last week that particular average worker is 43 years old and many of them have been in their current jobs 15 or more years. You may not see yourself where you want to be at this time but you at least have a purpose to what you are doing and a way to move forward. You are not being forced backward by the loss of job or other factors. I wish you luck on your journey. PS: 30 isn't so bad once you get there and 35 was the best year of my life so far so you do have something to look forward to. Life is not over at 30, 40,50, or even 60 if you take care of yourself and keep pushing forward.

Thank you so much, makes me feel much better! :) I guess I need to think about what I have going for me instead of against me..

Exactly, i am glad you took my comment in the manner I did. I started not to post it for fear I might offend you. You have a lot going for you. You just have to keep pushing through and it gets better as you age. I am not just saying that. I have lived it. My thoughts at 25 were so different to what they are today. I don't think we really mature as women until we hit 30 and it is an enlightenment from that day forward.