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Having Affair With My Boss

 
I'm 29 years old, maried for 8 years with 2 kids. I have been working with my boss for 5 years in different places. He is 20 years older than me and also married with kids. The whole story started at the very beginning of my hiring as a friendship, I was going through tugh period in my marriage at that time. We both enjoied talking to each other. He seemed like the magic wand that had solution for all my problems and he still is. I feel that i'm just perfect when i'm with him both at work or outside. He cares so much, always tries to help and I belive he trusts me so much as well. At work, we are doing wonderful achivements together and we make the strongest team wherever we go.. The only problem is that we started having affair since the first year. At the begining it was very hard for me, i felt very guilty towards my husband and family. But on the other hand i enjoied it to the max with him... He is just unbelievable in bed.. and cannot be compared to anyone else. Plus i believe the feelings between us bring more joy to the sexual act. The other side is that  at home I have a good relationship with my husband and a moderate sexual life. I still believe that to certain extend i love my husband. I don't want to leave him and i don't want to break the family under any cercumstances. My boss also loves his wife and has a great family that he doesn't want to break. But recenly we "and mostly I" became very addicted to the affair... ANd more than that I feel that i just got used to have my boss in my life. I know that i love him and this gives me pain. I really cannot to stop it . I tried many times, but i suddenly become in a very bad mood, very nervouse and cannot focus on anything else. I'm very sure that he wants me as much as I do, but he is trying to control things more, and i feel that recently I became the more pushy... All that turned my life into hell.. Keeping the family.. stopping or not stopping the affair and how to stop it... All is very hard.. I know that if I continue like that, the end will be horibble for everyone. I'm really afraid of that day and i have many nightmares about it.. I don't know how to fix all that and get my life backng to normal.. Plss help



lomad lomad 26-30, F 15 Responses May 9, 2011

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This may sound harsh, but there is no good ending of this story if you keep up seeing your boss.. I would advice you to be strong and end it even if it feels nice to be around and you feel like a little princess.. You were independent woman remember that before he was around things were beautiful also.. that is what I have told myself and got out of my relationship.

Please understand the action reaction theory. Every action (or deed) has own reaction. If you cheat on your husband (for any reason), you will be cheated in future for sure. If you chant God's name (in your mind) in front of your boss, you will not have any attraction towards him. One should always remember about his/her family before committing such things. May God bless you a stable & pure mind.

Shame on you!

Please help me out :/

He left.. he is not here anymore. However, things are getting emotionally worse not better.. We talk, he seems to still be in love with me.. I’m still crazy about him and disparately missing him. I don't know when I'm gonna see him again, he is out of the country. But at least there is no that bad feeling of guilt that comes after physical relationship

You are a trifflin' ho, who likes sex with old geezers!

Ur not content or in love w ur husb or u wouldn't stray. Women are emotional. Men are not. Men are large children who need a mom. That's! Y they marry. But they are not committed emotionally or sexually 2 ANY ONE woman. I KNOW THIS..BUT I STILL SUBJECT myself 2 the hurt of this 1sided relationship I am in. I finally divorced my spouse. Left with absol nothing.. but his debt. Lost my job & am payin 4 my sons college from my collected savings. & AM ALIVE And SURVIVING..Y Y Y I çHOOSE TO PUNISH MYSELF W THE ONESIDED AFFAIR WITH MY HURTFUL SELFISH USER BOSS IS BEYOND ME

poor english

is it possible to make it an happy ending with out loosing your boss, i dont think i can ever do with out him. ive done the blunder of my life, this is something more than just addiction, oh my god its too much pain for a 23 years old girl i don't think i am strong enough to accept this much pain this is the worst phase of my life i would die with this but suicide is not the solution some body try to make me feel good, talk something nice about this relationship.i really really love him he is 27 years older to me but he is not just about sex he loves me and takes care of me he makes me feel like a baby he pampers me as much as i want him to but he is stressed about keeping it going, he is got to many priorities and i feel ignored and everything seems like its not going to be good.please help me.

Are u still seeing him? I'm in ur shows n the man I'll all old Man Fred also makes me feel like a queen sometimes n other times he ignores me n it hurts :(

is it possible to make it an happy ending with out loosing your boss, i dont think i can ever do with out him. ive done the blunder of my life, this is something more than just addiction, oh my god its too much pain for a 23 years old girl i don't think i am strong enough to accept this much pain this is the worst phase of my life i would die with this but suicide is not the solution some body try to make me feel good, talk something nice about this relationship.i really really love him he is 27 years older to me but he is not just about sex he loves me and takes care of me he makes me feel like a baby he pampers me as much as i want him to but he is stressed about keeping it going, he is got to many priorities and i feel ignored and everything seems like its not going to be good.please help me.

i m in the same track.......

Thanks for the story~~ I am is "debating" to start things with my boss.. We both are still in our 30s and we both have small children that we'd like to keep things (marriage) in a decent way for our children.

We both married to a spouse whom seem sex is like option.. and that's why we started discussing... we've know each other for 7 years and only recently things/chemistry have started to change. I feel I am becoming this little girl. I know we would try to keep things only in moderated way.. but I fear that I would become attached and addicted to him!! This would consider bad for all things around.

As our jobs are in a rather niche market... it will not be easy for us to find other jobs.. so, I am so afraid that when things don't go our ways, it'll be bad all around!!



Reading your story has helped me to think about this again as it looks like nobody's office affair with bosses or married man ends up in a happy ending...

I am like you. I know if I keep headed this way I would never be able to stop it. As well as feel guilty as hell. Right now I am feeling guilty...and we Haven't done anything. The whole thing is just One big emotional roller coaster!

It takes lots of courage to make the right decision. What you are experiencing now is common to all affair couples. After the initial excitement and thrill of the unforbidden, comes the expectation phase that makes you become pushy like you said. And as time goes, the situation will turn out to be like your marriage - you are not satisfied. You said it right, if you continue it will be horrible for everyone especially yourself. Come out of it as soon as you can. Expect there will be withdrawal symptom as in any addiction but after a period you will be well. Stay strong.

Im have the same story...

you just descirbed my storyline in almost complete respone

Mine too. I'm 29 I have two kids n so does he n he is 20years older than me :( it hurts so bad