Confused

I am having an affair with my boss. I have been married for 15 years with 2 kids. He also is married with kids. this has been going on for 5 months. we always tell eachother that we need to stop, but seems we can't. For example tonight after work he came to my office before I left to walk out with me and gave me a kiss. we both don't want to leave our spouses because of our kids. we think about eachother all the time. we have been really good at not showing any affection at work when others are around. what to do?

butterfly6 butterfly6
31-35, F
9 Responses Oct 7, 2009

Butterfly6, you have to make the choices that are right for you. I don't have any answers for you, but know that there are many others out here struggling with the same questions. I, for one, am thankful to have this place to share. Blessings to you.

Curiosity3, thank you for your insightful statement! I never thought I'd be in my shoes, having an affair. I won't even try to justify what I know to be wrong, but knowing my reasons for my choices, I also know there are other loving, compassionate people out there making the same choice. Thank you again.

Curiosity3 summed it up perfectly. I don't have anything to add other than to say to butterfly6 that most people in this forum will never judge you or condemn you for your decisions. We've all been there, we know how hard it is and that there are many, many different reasons that drive us all to do what we do. Only those who have walked this road can possibly understand. People like me and Curiosity who would have never thought to be doing something like this (just like you thought) and yet here we all are. Life happens, and then you deal with it.

This is Butterfly6, Thanks for all your comments, But when your husband doesn't want to go on any vacations that you would like the both of u to go on. or do anything fun and he works 6 days a week and thats by choice. sometime I just don't feel loved anymore. And his excuse for working is that he want's to build up his pto time to where the company has to pay him back. Sometimes it feels nice that someone is paying attention to you. I do feel guilty, but i do want to be happy again.

Foolish - why are you on this forum if it brings back bad memories? go play somewhere else. Your comments really are not helpful.

Surely both of u got a very strong..chemistry...take it easy!

OR - realize you can have a successful affair without anyone leaving their families, as long as it's managed properly. Many people do it and don't get caught, either. It's not always easy to do, you have to set clear ground rules about the limits of the relationship and adhere to them strictly.<br />
<br />
Just a thought, anyway.

You have 3 choices<br />
<br />
Be the other woman having to satisfy yourself with loving only half a man and risk being found out and a messy divorce <br />
<br />
Or be honest with your husband pray your boss will leave his wife and try to start a life from the rubble<br />
<br />
Or stop and go back to your normal albeit boring life and at least have the memories of what was <br />
<br />
This type of situation no matter how you slice it will be hard on you wether you stay or not. Sometimes we just cant help who we fall in love with .

Have high risk sex for the added arousal factor and get pregnant by him to cement your connection to one another.