This Has 2 End Its Driving Me Crazy

Well although my lover isnt married he lives with his g/f and 2 year old son, ive know him for 16 years & he,s my brothers best friend, april 2009 we started having sex i cant call it an affair as all it is, is sex although i c him everyday & he txts all day (xcept wekends family time). This arrangement suited me for awile (friends with benifits) however it was usually whenever he decided, anyhow i did da stupid thing of falling head over heels in love with him although i dont let him know this, i think he knows tho & is playing on it. Im 38 & not married, i hav an 18yr old son, a good job, ive lent him money & found out afew days later his g/f went on holidays with her freinds & i tink i paid 4 it. im also building a house at the min and as my brother (his bestfriend) is the architect he decided 2 hire im as the foreman so i hav 2 c him everyday and hand over alot of money, so when i started 2 tell him i needed receipts 4 every penny he said no problem but as he has xcuses all da time & starts sendin messages how much he cant wait till we r 2gether then lands up & we hav sex, he has never made any promises he actually talks of plans with his g/f, i no he has no intentions of leaving her and dat we r just friends with benifit but i no he knows im crazy about him & is takin da **** big time. I know i hav 2 end this but its so hard i love him but hes just using me & i no this so y is it dat all he has 2 do is touch me hav a quicky (then hes gone) & im on a high 4 a day r 2 but then im depressed 4 da rest of da wek until he **** bak 4 more. im driving myself & every1 around me crazy (althou no1 knows) i need 2 end this but im so scared & just want him, every1 tinks im this really strong independent woman but im really a stupid b***t who cant say no, im hurtin soo much
jazz21 jazz21
36-40, F
1 Response Jul 11, 2010

Sex will reduce you to a weak pathetic creature... I speak from experience.