I Will Never Say Never Again

A few years ago, my ex left me for another woman. He had a pattern of doing it, I was his affair with his wife before me. He ultimately married the woman he left me for. It was devastating. It took me a long time to get over.

Now, I find myself in the position of once again being the other woman. I met a man about a month ago. Thank God we live in different states. The attraction was there from the instant we met. I have been fighting a losing battle ever since. We have not been physically intimate because there are about five hours between us.

I pray to God every day to take care of this because I know how weak I am. If I were to see him, I would be all over him. I am not sure what it is, whether it is because he is unavailable, but he is the first man I have been insanely attracted to in a very long time. I have dated a bit since the divorce, but mostly it has been very mundane.

I always said I would never get involved with a married man again. And here I am, contemplating. I have told a couple of friends, only to turn around and shut my mouth because I get "with everything you have been through, why in God's name would you even CONSIDER doing this again?" And the thing is, I know they are right. I don't want to be the cause of another woman's pain.

But damn...I want this man.

LolaL LolaL
41-45, F
1 Response Jul 26, 2010

I will have to say in hindsight, I am really glad nothing ever came of this...