Why Didnt I Know....

I want to start out by saying that I am not sure why I didnt see this coming!! I feel stupid that I have the feelings that everyone has when you are having an affair that you know will never last. I am mad, releaved and hopeless! It started out 3 years ago when he first came to work at my company. He was nice and sat across from me. So we talked and I helped him get a feel for the way things worked around the office. I should have seen it coming a mile way the frist day he asked me if I had ever cheated on my husband. He was younger than me, cute, smart and had a way with words. He made me feel beautiful and he always noticed the little things like what I like to drink or if my hair was a little different from day to day.

I only agreed to meet him when I was sure that he didnt want feelings involved and that it was purely for fun. His wife had just had there frist child and he was not getting what he needed from her. My husband was going thru a depression and I needed some extra attention. But the frist meeting was after work on a Tuesday and it was amazing. He said that I was beautiful and that he couldnt believe that my husband was leaving me without.  He was soft and gentle and it was almost to good to just be concidered simple sex.

The next day he asked me if I was ok with what had happend and that he was hoping that we could see each other again... well needless to say that it continued for 2 full years before I got pregnat with my child. My husband and I had decided to try for a baby and that we wanted to work on our relationship. Once the work husband,  as we use to call each other, found out that I was pregnat he became very mean to me. He didnt talk to me the whole time I was pregnat other than to tell me that he hoped that it wasnt his... I knew it wasn't... and I was right!!

After I had my son and came back to work he asked me how things were and that he really missed me. I told him that it was best that we stay away from doing anymore damage to each other and that I was not looking to ruin my new life. But as the days go by and he reminded me about how good it was and how much he missed me I FELL for him all over again.

About 2 months after we started things back up he announced that he was leaving for a new job.... I was needless to say... heartbroken!! He said that he wanted to keep it going even after he left and that it would be even more exciting per we could still email and text each other... we we talked for a week after he left and well decided to meet... I knew in my heart that this would be the last time that I would see him... and it was! We had a great time and when he left I said under my breath "good bye" as he drove away.

He has not emailed, texted or even called me since then... that was a month ago! I miss him and all feelings that come with that!! But as I said before... I guess I should have known this day would come.

helplessinlife helplessinlife
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2010

aww thats sad :(