I Confess...i Can't Stop Seeing Him....

I've been seeing a younger guy for the past 6 months, he's not the first but it has turned into the longest affair I've had, although I say affair loosely as we just meet for sex.
I've been married for over 30 years, and was happy until 6 years ago when things started to change due to being accused of having being unfaithful (which I never had been) and a husband that suddenly turned anti-social. Social events are attended by myself or daughters only and I guess I find it a lonesome existance sometimes.

Since then young guys have been my release. I started meeting someone 14 years my junior, I'd been emailing him regularly and he'd always suggested meeting up though I never thought we would, one day he came to work in my city, I went to his hotel, met him and that's when it all started. We met 3-4 times over the next 3 years, so not on a regular basis but it was discreet, secret and didn't interfer with either of our marriages. Trouble was there was no guilt on my part, which then led me on to meeting 4 other men, 3 younger and 1 of similar age to myself, over the past few years.

I've now been seeing the latest man who is 25 years younger and he said from day 1 he wanted to be my lover and that is what he has become. We see each other as often as we can sometimes 1 every fortnight sometimes less but certainly every month. He's single, has his own life but loves older women and says I am the best he's ever had (I don't say I've fallen for that line but it's good to hear)

Sex is good with my younger guy, with hubby its good when it happens, I still want sex with my husband but that seems to be happening on fewer and fewer occassions and that's not due to me getting it elsewhere, I just can't always get him interested or prepared to make the effort!. Many a time I've dressed in sexy lingerie, or suggested we have sex as we are alone, only to have all hope dashed.

So my marriage ticks along, still with no guilt - which sometimes worries me - and I wonder what the future holds, either if I get found out or how long I can continue this. I can't stop seeing my younger guy, he makes my marriage feel better for me, not sure if thats bizarre or not, he makes me smile and I know that he likes me and looks forward to our meets. I have encouraged him to find someone he could spend his life with but says even if he did find someone else he still would want to see me and meet for our fun.

I'm sure he's not a stalker but time will tell :-)

I thought I needed to confess to somebody, just found this site so you are the chosen one.
redlady1958 redlady1958
51-55, F
10 Responses Apr 21, 2012

redlady1958 you should have no guilt feelings. More power to you. A woman needs sex for relief as much as a man does. My wife and I are in our late 60's, and due to health issues I am now impotent and can no longer satisfy her sexually. I help her occasionally with her toys, but toys aren't like a real ****. I have suggested to her on numerous occasions to seek a young man (young men are her fantasies) for her sexual pleasure. She has a great body and physically fit. Talking like this, during sex, seems to turn her on, but she refuses to go that route. Hopefully one day she will seek a sexual partner to satisfy her needs.

You must be hot! I enjoyed older women before I was married too because I really liked their mature Outlook and appreciation. The sex was very hot. Best I ever had.

Hi 'Redlady1958'. I too am in the same boat, I have a son and a loving husband, I started seeing someone else a year ago, just 'abit of fun'. But recently I have started to feel guilty, I feel bad because of my son, I am constantly thinking what he would say if he were to find out. Do you ever think of what your daughters would do or say?

Sorry I took a while to reply, thanks for your comments, and yes for past few months I have been feeling guilty, (for the first time re seeing other men) I've not met my younger guy for several months (my choice) and I think we have to really think hard about the consequences. I know it would cause devastation in my family....its hard giving up my fun times though!! take care x

Your story is oh so familiar to me! I started my foray into flings a couple years ago. First very tentatively with just online chats with men far far away so as not to be tempted to make it too real. But eventually it moved into real life. The first time I was approached by a younger guy (20 years younger!) I thought it was a joke. Thought he was setting me up to be made a fool. But nope. I learned over time the guys in their 20s love women in their 40s. How lucky am I! That first guy for some reason has withstood the test of time. Even though we have both ended it many times, after a couple months I usually hear from him again and the dance begins anew. So really we only see each other once every few months or so, but there's something there that works for us. It's fun and exciting and incredibly hot. I've been married 10 years and can relate to what you say about your own marriage. We plod along. And my life is incredibly busy with work and kids and house and home. But having this young, fun escape in my world is my delicious secret. I know it's wrong on so many levels, and my lack of guilt worries me, as you said. But I can't quite bring myself to say 'so long' for good. I've thought we were done many times, but I always get drawn back eventually. It's nice knowing he wants nothing from me other than my body and a few hot hours together. Never thought I'd be a person who does this. But there you go.

Thanks feelingroovy25 for your comment, there does seem more and more men who like older women and as you say "How lucky are we!" They seem to like our confidence,that we say what we like and give them no hassle :-) I say go for it and take the fun when you can as long as it hurts nobody and you can give that extra piece of yourself every so often.......love and have fun xx

feelingroovy25, I think this happens in a lot of marriages. Some men, although a small percentage, start to lose interest in sex over the years. Women on the other hand, tend to reach their sexual peak as they approach their 50's. My wife and I are in our late 60's and I'm impotent and can no longer satisfy her sexual needs. I have encouraged her many times to seek a sexual partner (preferably a young unattached young man for occasional sex). When talking about this she gets turned on, but still refuses to give it a try. I would totally support her in this matter.

Thanks for your comment Armyguy03, and all comments, my young guy still contacts me though I haven't met with him for a while now, and have decided not to meet again. I listened to an opionin of somebody from EP site (you know who you are haha) and decided they were right and that single young guys and significantly older married women don't work on a long term basis.

Now where did I put that still younger than me but comfortably older married man.........????? lol

Nice story. Those are some lucky guys!

Update on my story is that young guy has been kicked to kerb - We're still in touch but tbh I was losing interest in meeting... it was always me that had to make effort to meet etc and I do enough running around with my kids without one more to run around after! It was fun but its done (not sure if I would run to him if he suggests one more meet we'll see ;-x )<br />
Had couple of fellas more my age get in touch from my past but not arranged any meets or anything, got alot going on within the family at the moment so its a low profile for me at present.<br />
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Mind you there is a 28year old who is showing signs of promise so perhaps the cougar in me will show her face again<br />
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Have good days, thanks for your comments, and will keep you updated xx

Thanks for your comments Jbwih, as soon as I get some 'me' time I will get back to you

For one I won't comment on whether affairs destroy or bouy up marriages, for that is for each individual to consult their own soul on. As far as the age goes, if you are compatiable in intellect and maturity there should be no issue. A lot of marriages seem to disolve because of lack of communication, that to me would seem paramount in any relationship. Divorce? again communication and at this stage would not be the best but it would be necessary to determine the future if any. I knew someone who was 39 and involved with an 18 year old, I'm sure the sex thingy had a lot to do with it, but in this case she had been long divorced. I heard about "the thrill of it" but don't let that cloud your judgement. Remember too, there are many who are opportunistic and once the fun dries up they will either leave or make excuses. Risky game if you ask me, I would see where the marriage is going then make plans ba<x>sed on that.

Thanks for the comment Paddytram, I am under no illusion that this is going to lead to anything permanent, to be honest I don't want it too, it's just a "fun" thing at the moment and if there comes a time when the involvement gets too much I will say "goodbye". At the moment the situation fits both our needs, though I realise I will have to deal with any situation arising if my hubby were to find out

Thank you for your comment. <br />
Maybe its wrong but they don't, in fact so far, if anything, they have made me appreciate my husband and life more, though I do wonder if that will change, only time will tell