I Got Close To A Married Man And Then Distanced Myself. Did I Do The Right Thing?

Recently I became very close to a married man. He's in his 40s, I'm in my 20s. We first began to meet because of issues I was having with one of his homestay students, but we got close, fast. He would appear at my house unannounced at all hours of the day, every day, and tell me problems that he hadn't shared with his wife, mainly because his wife was his biggest issue. He would ask for my hand (to hold), hug me before leaving, text me constantly, saying things like 'I miss you' 'I'm happy when I'm with you'. He didn't tell his wife that he was meeting me - I wasn't comfortable with this, so I started to distance myself from him, not allowing him to come to my house, not meeting him often etc. Eventually he stopped texting, and now I only meet him occasionally. We are still talking, and things are not awkward, but I don't feel that same 'closeness' that I felt before, and I kind of miss it. I worry that he may be having problems in his marriage but he isn't telling me because I have distanced myself. I want to be close to him, but not too close. Is that selfish?? Do you think I did the right thing, or was I being overly paranoid?? Help! I'm so confused!
genesis105 genesis105
5 Responses Jul 29, 2010

You did the right thing!<br />
These married men wether they hav a problem in their married life or not....try to make xploite an innocent female's emotions...and ultimately they go back to their wife leaving the other female traumatized....<br />
Indeed u did the right thing...u read my story...i was a fool...still in love with the guy...who ruined my life...<br />
At this young age of urs u hav several opportunities ahead...u hav full life to live..even if any married man is genuine...DONT GO FOR HIM AT ALL! Go for a man who is legally available...b wise in choosing.<br />
U took a wise decision this time....take xample from my story...if u wudnt hav steped back..ifear u wud hav faced wat i m going thru...Good Luck!!!

Thank you for commenting, guys ^^ I feel less guilty now!

You did the right thing.

You didn't want to take him as a lover. He tested the waters in a nicely gentle way and was softly rebuked. He has no intention of ditching you, but he is off to find the someone who will open their arms and legs for him. You aren't selfish, just don't want the same thing. But you have lost him.

OMG! You ABSO-freaking-LUTELY did the right thing! At 18-21, you are WAY too young to endure the heartache that goes along with having your emotions held hostage by a married man. GREAT job! I'm so very proud of you. Don't cave! Throw yourself into other activities where you may meet other guys. If it's older guys you're attracted to -- that's fine. But please be sure they're not attached!