Married Man, 13 Years Older Than Me And My Professor!

I am really confused right now, I am having an affair with my professor. I am not going to elaborate how exactly it all happened, let me just say that he was able to catch my attention on the very first time i saw him. (I'm a transfer student), but he started everything. I never imagine that I'll be in this kind of situation, I always hated those who cheat! (now I'm one of them.)
our relationship is 3 months now, (some may laugh and think that 3 months is such a very short period of time.) but for us 3 months feels like we've known each other and have been together for 3 years. He's not my first boyfriend and this isn't the first time that I fell in love but believe me this is the first time that I felt this way. This is too different. I'm too happy and very much in love.
I know this is wrong, he has a wife and four beautiful kids, he told me at first that his relationship with his wife isn't that good, he also told me that he will soon get legal separation with his wife and will choose to live with me. He asked me to wait until he's financially stable to support his kids. (he just started a new job. he's having a full time different job, and teaching is just his part time job). I don't believe him, I know deep in my heart he's lying about the rough relationship with his wife, I saw their pictures together and I saw nothing in their faces but perfect couples, looks in love and contented., I also know that he will not leave his children just to live with me.
Even though i think everything is a lie, (that's what im thinking.or maybe I'm just too negative, i don't know) for giving me falls hope that we can be together, I still love him, I even told him that I am willing to give up and left everything behind just to be with him,I don't care if it'll be the two of us against the world, for as long as I have him i'll be contented and ok. I MEAN IT. Of course he said he can't yet, not until he's financially stable.
I already introduce him to my family but of course they thought he was legally separated. he's exerting too much effort to be with me, and my family. he even attended some of my family gathering and outings. Do you think he really loves me and that he will leave his family for me?? though I keep telling him that I know he can't leave his family, deep in my heart heartless as it may sound but I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want him mine.
Too bad that I felt this way to a married man, to someone I can't have legally, though i want him badly for my self I still told him that I want us to stop what we have, we have to separate and go back to our lives where we are not connected to each other., this isn't the first time i broke up with him,,, but I keep coming back.
I wanted to be with him, I want him mine and the thought of him with his wife is killing me but he keep telling me to wait. I don't know what to do, I love him, but the pain is really unbearable,. and the thought of my life without him is also painful.



ruiko ruiko
22-25, F
Dec 2, 2012