I have been having an affair with my bestfriend for the past 4 years. My husband found out 2 years ago and thinks I have stopped seeing him! I tried but have not managed to completely cut him out of my life! Sometimes it feels as if I am more meant to be with my lover who understands me as I really am. Lately I want to be with him more than most times....even if its not physical.....its very confusing and somewhat depressing!