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Married Woman Having Affair With Younger Married Man

I am a 51 year old woman who has been married for over 20 years. I had never been unfaithful to my husband in all these years, until recently. Although our marriage has been rocky, I just did not feel the need to seek gratification elsewhere.

ABout 3 years ago my husband developed Diabetes and the sex simply has stopped.  I found myself totally in lust with a married 36 year old man at work. I look at him and practically drool. I look ok for my age, but of course I figure a few more years and no one will want me at all. Long story short, I initiated an affair of sorts with this man. Our only liasons have been in the closet once at work, and the back seat of his suv in a parking lot.

I want him. I figure nothing can really come of it -- I am so much older, we are both married, etc. but I keep lusting after him.  I don't know where this will wind up. I do NOT want anyone to know. I do NOT want to ruin his marriage. I DO want to have wild sex with him.

I am beyond redemption in this, and I figure he does not want me as much as I want him. I have questions in my mind, but frankly, I don't care. I am going to have him as long as I can, even though it is hardly ever and I know it is a dead end. I know everyone would find me despicable for this, but I absolutely ache for his kiss. He is pretty aloof with me (I imagine he is having his own mental mess over this) but we are professional with each other at work (except when I tempt him via a message to meet me) and we have a few very passionate moments.

Life is short. I am an imperfect being. I do not want this to end at present.

Src Src 51-55, F 109 Responses Jan 18, 2009

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I'm married guy for 10 years from Malaysia but don't have children, I had been cheating on my wife ever since we married, my wife didn't know about my secret partners.
Reason I went for these woman some of them married because I don't get enough sex from my wife, she don't enjoy it. I feel sorry each time having good time with other woman but I cant stop it, I have no choice, I cant control my lust.

find another wife, it is not fair to her.

Well I feel your pain. I was involved with a younger guy myself. I am married and 41 years old, the guy was not married and 28. MY GOD. I was blown away by the very brief relationship and our sexual interaction. He couldn't take the fact that I was married. He wanted me full time and not half-way. We ended our brief relationship yesterday and I'm hurting so bad. I'm devastated. I get a lot of attention from younger guys but he was just awesome and different and the best kisser on earth. It hurts. It truly hurts. I'm trying to get over him but it's hard.

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Your feelings for this man are so perfectly normal and healthy. I hope you can have more contact with him and let your love and affection for each other grow. I am in a sexless marriage too and when I am with married women we know the needs we are enjoying are so beautiful and healthy. If it was the other way around and my wife needed sex with other men I would be happy for her as I am happy for you.
We were created with physical needs and you will be much happier when your spend quality time with your boyfriend. Don't worry about age, I bet you are very beautiful and your friend sees you as 100% sexy and flattered that you let him be with you.

omg, all i can say is ... you rock sweetheart. i hope you get 2 more bulls in line.

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Hi dear hope to be ur lover and satisfy u to the fullest by f.....g u in all possible positions I'm 34 6 feet unmarried and my name is Sanjay. My email I'd is sanjay201126@yahoo mail u mail me your contact number etc so that we can since I'm starved for sex so do mail me at the earliest

you go girl

I am feeling exactly the same with a much younger married guy but so far there has not been any personal touching, not that I would love this to happen. I will say though. U need to start thinking about backing off and starting thinking u have had your tension release, and let him go as I can see it will end in misery for all involved. Best wishes to u.
And half your luck.

Hi Sre, your post was awhile already but I can relate. I am involved with a married coworker right now. We just really connect - we can talk for hours and don't feel bored. He's a very smart person and i fell in love with that. I know our relationship will not be forever. He will never leave his family for me, but I just enjoy his company. I will be hurt in the end because i am in love with him.
Thank you for sharing.

be happy and make others happy

Hi Sre their is lot guys who realy want a women like u, if he is not that interested y u dont look for someone. Obiviously if i was in near you defenitly i should have take the oppertunity. Me too married but complicated relation.. what to do its faith!!!!

If a man (or alternatively a woman) have developed an aversion for sex, trying to force them would not just be disturbing, it would actually be a spychological trauma...

The only way out is a secret pact with some one else - preferably of same age. Younger men (or women) are certainly nicer to have, but then many of them discuss it too soon with some one else (lack of maturity). Now, that may spoil the married life actually ! Because marriage is not just for sex alone.

So, chhose a man (or a woman if you are a man) of similar age. May be a little less charming, but believe me it is a lot safer !

Since I am a sex - 'psychologist', I know what I am suggesting. For small advices, my services are free.

However, for long discussions (and one to one sittings), I charge reasonably.

You can write to me at : slowcharm2007@yahoo.co.in with subject line as below

------advice for married life------

Bless you all,

Slowan

I am 53 years old woman and have been married for 14 years and we have been together of 20 years. I have never cheated on him until recent. My husband and I have not had a normal sex life for nearly 7 years and absolutely no sex for 2 years. I recently had sex with a guy who is going through a divorce he is 37 years old and it was amazing. we said that we would not let it happen again but it did and again it was amazing. I am sexually attracted to him, I don't want anything with him but sex. I work with him, so I don't want thing to get complicated, but oh do I want to have sex with him again and again!

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thanks for sharing sweetheart, i love your post and enjoyed stroking my **** reading your hot stuff.

1 More Response

where the hell he ***** you at work , private place , hotel , how come still this is secret ..LOL

Hmmmmmmm.....whatever happed here?? What is the rest of the story?

Whell If your husband thinks you have been loyal maby you should come clean. You need to work on communicing wit him. Maby he suspected your extra-marital affair and closed up.

i am sorry your in this mess. i dont know what to tell you. i have read a book that may help called...."on the alter of sexual idolatry." if there ever comes a time when you feel you have to move on it may help.

My Dear Mam,<br />
Will you write to me. I will be your lover. I will be answering every mail of yours if you would make them. I will gradually meet you. Please try giving me your love and affection and kisses. Kindly contact me straight away.

life is too short.....<br />
what makes affairs go ugly is when 1 person changes the original understanding.<br />
....starts....as NSA....okay...<br />
...them someone wants more....<br />
the sercret here is finding the right person....<br />
1. maturity.....not adults are.<br />
2. chemistry.....must<br />
3. trust....i have your back, you got mine.<br />
4. separation clause.....anyone wants to walk away, they should, without major drama and guilt.

Darling even I want a woman of ur age to **** .u r mature with nice bumps and bid boobs cm hve sex with me

Mmm. I want you too... Haha. I'm young ;) no seriously, I want an older woman around your age

i met a man online game we started talking playing the game and flirting happened, interenet sex happened, yes there is such a thing haha finally emails text messages and phone calls. Met each other had wonderful kissing and meeting. both married he got a divorce i have not. I am 55 hes 47 i have been married 38 years. got married at 17 to tell you the truth dont think i was ever in love with my husband. I love him yesi think more like a brother. I want a divorce but its very complicated and i know i will hurt him terribly, the kids family everyone. I know it will take time, but i am wanting this other man so much, I'm pretty sure i have fallen in love with him and he has fallen in love with me. we cant get enough of each other,can't stop thinking of each other texting or calling. It has consumed me. We do live in different states. Hard part is the betrayal to my husband who does love me, we do have sex, terrible sex but we do have it. Its hard to have sex with both but the problem is i have to with the hubby want to with the lover. until the day comes i can let go of the hubby this is what i have to do. very difficult. after near 40 years how do you let it go? how do you hurt someone like that? the mental agony is the worst torment ever, but I am in love with my lover. I need to give it time.Is it possible its just a fantasy or imagination or the sex drive that keeps me in it? I dont know i know i want the lover very much the way he makes me feel is so incredible i have never felt like this before. i always wondered if i was in love with my husband i always wondered what love felt like,now i feel something i never felt before it sisnt the sex its everything. I smile when i think of the lovers faces what he says or does. i feel nothing for the hubby anymore is this natural after all these years? is this really love i feel with the lover or fantasy? have i bulit him up to be the perfect man or what? when i am with him i want him as bad as he wants me so sex happened, wether i am with him or not i just feel like i love him so much it hurts. I don't know what to do or think i guess I need to give it time. could you tell me what love feels like? How do you know the difference? I love my family, I love my husband like i said i think its more like a brother i dont feel the passion or intensity like I feel for my lover.

grandmama1156,
Your story is so similar to mine. I have been married for 32 years and I just turned 60 yrs old. I am having an affair with a man 10 years younger than me. The sex is fantastic. We are both married and do not want to change our status. We met on Ashley Madison. I am married to a man who I have mixed feelings for but also feels more like a brother. I know this post is over a year old but would love to start a conversation with you. I have not told anyone about my affair and would love to talk to someone. Lee

i experience i sex with younger than my age..... i love sex....it feel happy .. my husband cannot give me total satisfaction im just human just need personal need that my husband cannot give .... i been sex any young male ever since when we just first year of marriage been doing that secretly i dont know i got arroused with young male... i cannot feel enjoyment if i cannot sex with them...it make me happy.... now we are 25 years marriage.. still my husband never notice i do affair with other young males......i did for 25 years secretly and lie making false reason to go out.....now it part of my life doing sex addicted......i was confused who is the real father first elder son before we get married i had sex 3 mens . we did that 1 day a time.....i keep the secret of mine for 26 years he never know.....i dont have plan to tell him.. i like to be playful of sex, affair in marreid,.... i love sex secret.....it make me satisfy

hiiiiiii

how r u dear

that sounds spectacular

Hi

hai i am ready to satisfy you call me 09443689202

You really write like someone who is about 10 yrs. old.

2 More Responses

i will not judge you cause i cannot cast the first stone myself....but i believe a marrige takes two to make it work....look at it from this point of view and see for ur self what damage you have done.....imagine you falling sick or having health problems and for this reason your husband decides to sleep around without ur knowledge .....if you find out how will you feel and what will you have done......can you ever love him again as you do before knowing...can you ever trust as it use to be....will u ever respect him again... and how will the wife and the children of the guy you cheat with feel about him......u want and personal desires can and will destroy a lot of happy peoples home...think about this...will you be happy then.....why not tell your husband about how you feel he might understand and arrange for you to be in a swinger group or any other way to make you fulfilled...rather than doing it at his back....the golden rule is do unto others what you what you want them do to you ...thanks

I am also married & having an affair but with a single man. Sometimes he feels like he shouldn't be doing this. It took almost 6 months to get to the sex, which is amazing. But how do you deal if he doesn't want to as much as you? I'm always afraid he'll stop responding to my texts. We don't ever see each other except for sex.

hi..im a married woman. i love my husband. we dont have time for each other and when we have he spends time with his hobby that he adores.. i work at night and he work during the day so we dont have time for eachother. i met this guy at work and hes hot, single, kind to everyone and i m crazy bout him. my hubby knows that i work with men and i go out with them once in a while after work so why cant he open his eyes and realize that he is abbandon me and can throw me into anther mans arms. i cant stay without sex, makin out and the hugs and the kisses. this guy tells me im sexy and if i wenent married hed go out with me for sure. that s it. we find ourselfs alone but we never did notin except talks and keep on talkin. i talked to my hubby bout what i want and what i need but he doesnt care though he loves me much, im sure hes not cheatin 100%. im writing with tears in my eyes. We went through a very rough time and when i say rough pfff and that tored us apart. we never faught bout him or me cheatin cause we nver did. in our relationship. If he could give me some love i could end this crush before it goes deeper. i dont know what to do. my manager tells me go with him just one night stand to pleasure yor dreams. but i dont want sex. i dont know what i want from this crush... if he feels the same lets start from there. hes gettin like away from me cause he nkows that i m married. please escuse my english cause that s not my first language. thanks pls help and dont judge me. .

hi i read your story and u don't worry i will give u full satisfied call me 09443689202

You do realize that beginning of sentences are to be capitalized as well as the word "I"

The only person you hurt is yourself. Unfortunatly he will one day say i am not interested I LOVE MY WIFE and the moments of pleasure become only a memory, then hate intervenes because he ignores you. The pain goes on after you cannot stop thinking of him.. this life is not designed to fill your belly its a life with very little forfillment.. And whatever you do will bite you harder in the ***! for what? a moment of pleasure that is only a memory and the fact that you feel used? <br />
Its not worth it! You live your life make it worthy life....

I can't and don't want to judge anyone. But if it feels no okay, it is not okay and no matter how enjoyable it starts out, it will never be enjoyable when it ends. And END it will!! Mind you, there is no secret under the earth. It is only a question of when, not if others find out!

hey baby if u wanna talk hit me up at 720675-6127

em a 21 yrs old young boy in need of an affair....interested peoples plz contact me....

FLEE FROM THIS WOMAN BECAUSE SHE IS GOING TO MESS YOUR MARRIAGE AND HERS TOO. PROBABLY HER MARRIAGE IS ON THE ROCKS.SECONDLY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE RESPECTED OTHERWISE CONFUSION IN THE SOCIETY WILL REIGN AND IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED, IDENTITY CRISIS WILL FOLLOW AFTER BREAK DOWN OF MARRIAGE..THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS ONE CAN HANDLE THE ISSUE OF SEX IN MARRIAGE..JUST TALK TO YOUR WIFE AND INVOLVE COUNSELLORS AND A STRONG SUPPORT GROUP.THERE IS NO SINGLE TIME THAT A PERSON HAS DIED BECAUSE OF LACK OF SEX.THERE MANY WAYS YOU CAN BURN AWAY THE SEXUAL ENERGY.LET US NOT GLORIFY SIN .LET ME POSE A QUESTION: DO YOU CONSIDER CHEATING ,STEALING,BACKSTABBING GOOD THINGS AND IF THEY ARE DONE TO YOU WILL YOU NOT FEEL OFFENDED?.SURELY WE NEED TO VALUE OURSELVES BY DOING THINGS THAT ARE GOOD.EVERY ONE WAS BORN TO ACHIEVE A DESTINY IN LIFE AND LEAVE A LEGACY.THEREFORE IT IS BEFITTING FOR US TO LIVE RIGHT ALTHOUGH THERE MIGHT BE WEAKNESSES IN OUR MORALS.WE REQUIRE A STRONG WILL POWER TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT BECAUSE GENERALLY PEOPLE LIKE TO DO THE WRONG THING ALWAYS SINCE THAT GIVES A FORM OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

FLEE FROM THIS WOMAN BECAUSE SHE IS GOING TO MESS YOUR MARRIAGE AND HERS TOO. PROBABLY HER MARRIAGE IS ON THE ROCKS.SECONDLY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE RESPECTED OTHERWISE CONFUSION IN THE SOCIETY WILL REIGN AND IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED, IDENTITY CRISIS WILL FOLLOW AFTER BREAK DOWN OF MARRIAGE..THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS ONE CAN HANDLE THE ISSUE OF SEX IN MARRIAGE..JUST TALK TO YOUR WIFE AND INVOLVE COUNSELLORS AND A STRONG SUPPORT GROUP.THERE IS NO SINGLE TIME THAT A PERSON HAS DIED BECAUSE OF LACK OF SEX.THERE MANY WAYS YOU CAN BURN AWAY THE SEXUAL ENERGY.LET US NOT GLORIFY SIN .LET ME POSE A QUESTION: DO YOU CONSIDER CHEATING ,STEALING,BACKSTABBING GOOD THINGS AND IF THEY ARE DONE TO YOU WILL YOU NOT FEEL OFFENDED?.SURELY WE NEED TO VALUE OURSELVES BY DOING THINGS THAT ARE GOOD.EVERY ONE WAS BORN TO ACHIEVE A DESTINY IN LIFE AND LEAVE A LEGACY.THEREFORE IT IS BEFITTING FOR US TO LIVE RIGHT ALTHOUGH THERE MIGHT BE WEAKNESSES IN OUR MORALS.WE REQUIRE A STRONG WILL POWER TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT BECAUSE GENERALLY PEOPLE LIKE TO DO THE WRONG THING ALWAYS SINCE THAT GIVES A FORM OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

FLEE FROM THIS WOMAN BECAUSE SHE IS GOING TO MESS YOUR MARRIAGE AND HERS TOO. PROBABLY HER MARRIAGE IS ON THE ROCKS.SECONDLY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE RESPECTED OTHERWISE CONFUSION IN THE SOCIETY WILL REIGN AND IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED, IDENTITY CRISIS WILL FOLLOW AFTER BREAK DOWN OF MARRIAGE..THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS ONE CAN HANDLE THE ISSUE OF SEX IN MARRIAGE..JUST TALK TO YOUR WIFE AND INVOLVE COUNSELLORS AND A STRONG SUPPORT GROUP.THERE IS NO SINGLE TIME THAT A PERSON HAS DIED BECAUSE OF LACK OF SEX.THERE MANY WAYS YOU CAN BURN AWAY THE SEXUAL ENERGY.LET US NOT GLORIFY SIN .LET ME POSE A QUESTION: DO YOU CONSIDER CHEATING ,STEALING,BACKSTABBING GOOD THINGS AND IF THEY ARE DONE TO YOU WILL YOU NOT FEEL OFFENDED?.SURELY WE NEED TO VALUE OURSELVES BY DOING THINGS THAT ARE GOOD.EVERY ONE WAS BORN TO ACHIEVE A DESTINY IN LIFE AND LEAVE A LEGACY.THEREFORE IT IS BEFITTING FOR US TO LIVE RIGHT ALTHOUGH THERE MIGHT BE WEAKNESSES IN OUR MORALS.WE REQUIRE A STRONG WILL POWER TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT BECAUSE GENERALLY PEOPLE LIKE TO DO THE WRONG THING ALWAYS SINCE THAT GIVES A FORM OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

It is hard to believe that SRC has allowed us all to follow the developments in her life since my first comment to her on her posting back in January 18th of 2009. It just serves to prove that EP is an important vehicle to support us all with answers to intimacy problems in marriage and that our constant struggle for happiness in marriages and out continues unabated.

reading a number of comments, it all boils down to sexual pleasure plain and simple. i remember a friend of mine who happen to be a sex worker said one time... "if you are not getting the sex you want within a marriage and is the only thing you don't like about the marriage, look outside to play and that might save many headaches and save the marriage". in some odd ways, it is true.

I am a 25 yr old man currently working and running a gym. Seeing affairs everyday is literally apart of my everyday life. I have a fantastic body (not to be conceded), constantly getting i get told by women that i am handsome, good looking the whole 9 yards (excpecially zumba women). I've never had a problem getting women or girls i want.<br />
<br />
Now the reason for this my post, there is a 27 year old women, currently a customer that is married and has a 2 yo daughter. Instantly from the point our eyes met, i wanted her, she wanted me. The chemistry between us is uncanny. I find myself actually picking her brain because i love hearing about her day or just her oppinion. It started with innocent flirting, slowly progressing to me walking her to her car (only in the night time) and now to long hugs after we talk for, longer than needed, time. After a short while i gave her my email address, to which she responded immediately. She has been unhappily married for years now and is on the verge of leaving her husband.<br />
<br />
My problem is i am into her and vice verse, we have yet to even hang out in a more personal setting, but we know it will be fun/amazing....should i wait for her to leave? i know i can have her sexually if i wanted, that part comes easy to me, but i don't know if i can fully have emotional constraint from her. Even if i do open that can of worms will she just veiw me simply as a boy toy because i couldn't wait? i am very frustrated and confused.

sounded like it is more about physical attraction at this stage. it's hard to say what she want and you want a year from now. as well, she has a kid which means long run, the exhusband will be part of your life with her regardless, that's something you have to be selfish and ask yourself, are you ready to be a step dad as well as a family that have another male figure involved?

meanwhile, i would say, she is probably looking for sexual pleasure, if both of you are ok...enjoy the time and take things one step at a time.

good luck

well src. You certainly initiated one of the longer discussions on ep. thank you for that. The moralists fail dismally in this debate. But the ethical arguments - truth, justice, impact - are more difficult to wade through. As you point out, we all must make our way, and each of us faces the consequences of our choices to varying degrees.<br />
Keep well.<br />
Max

Am a 22 years man.till now i didn't have any affair with someone.but know i want to have an affair with a married women.pls suggest me

Time has made us wiser. It isn't a matter of don't trust men, or of don't trust women. In truth, it is simply the fragile state of human nature. We stray, we learn. I would say that most likely I should have gotten a divorce; although the entanglements and trappings of a shared home and (now grown) kids made this sort of an economic non-plausibility.<br />
<br />
I moved out because I did not think it was fair to be there any longer and ultimately we will divorce. Am I a terrible person? Yes. No. I am just a person. The need for the warmth and attention is intoxicating and pervasive. Life is not as simple as black and white. It is gray -- always being processed through the imperfect filter of our emotions.<br />
<br />
I do not judge, but I do understand others who condemn me. I will tell you that it is your own life and each of us must walk our own paths. As for aconcernedcitizen, yes I see where you are coming from. But you must have had a deep seated need within your self to continue to pursue these older women. It is what it is. And to XMonkeyDLuffyX -- I feel your pain. But honestly, men themselves have been proven to be so very, very prone to cheating -- it makes little sense to place a gender on the mess. <br />
<br />
Just be gentle with yourselves. I do not regret on many levels the experience of having had lovers. For me though, in truth, I have come to realize that my marriage did lack intimacy and warmth and I was so very starved for attention and love. I don't think I would marry again; although I was completely faithful for over 20 years and did love him. I just don't think my heart could stand all of that again. Blessings to all -- haters and lovers alike.

Thanks for updating and responding - it is so interesting to see what happens in a persons life once the cataclysmic event has galvanised them out of their cosy situation. I would not presume to judge anyone and their reasons behind having an affair - and sometime it really is just 'because'. Good luck in your new life and may you get the happiness you deserve.

Gentleman... Don't Get Married... Women Are ******... Reason For Existing In Life... To Fill That Hole... 10... 20... 30... Years... Together... Don't Mean Anything To A Women... Just Read All The Previous Posts... Your A Fool... If You Believe Otherwise... Do You Really Want To Invest Your Money And Time... Into Someone Who Will Eventually Spit In Your Face... There's So Much More To Life... Don't Expect A Women To Be Able To Comprehend... What Do You Expect From Someone With A Small Primitive Brain

You are calling others a fool and in doing so you spell "your" wrong. It should be "you're". There is irony in that.

I found this whole thread very interesting, and I think I might bring a little different perspective as I have cheated on my wife, a number of times, predominantly with much older women. This began when I was in my late 20's and progressed on and off until I was caught in my early 30's. So I'll begin by saying this, the fairy tale that these affairs are often painted out to be are hollow, at best. Let me clarify before I go any further: I devastated a number of people that I loved, and for that I am incredibly ashamed of my actions...I am not proud of these things by any means.<br />
<br />
I know that a lot of you women think you have found this young, understanding, and compasionate partner to soothe the yearning of your desires and save you from your unfulfilled lives....you need to go hop in a cold shower real quick and wake-up. These men are often not what they seem; I know because I wasn't, and I met a number of men just like me along the way. We give you the sad story about how our wives don't give us enough attention, intimacy, etc., and we victimize ourselves. But what you don't understand is that most (maybe not all) of us are working an angle. Some of those things may be very true in our lives, but we paint ourselves out to be the poor, neglected white-knight, looking for a way in (to your pants). What we don't tell you is that we aren't paying attention to our wives, we don't help with work around the house, the kids, and we are completely disengaged from our families...of course our wives aren't kissing our butts, which is why we are out looking (it may not be apparent, but we are). You only get the "pretty" versions of our tale. So what we do is we go looking for a specific type of woman. I don't mean any disrespect when I say this, but most of the men my age that are in affairs with older women, we know how to play the game. We know older women don't want the strings (although it is inevitable they come along), we know older women are hitting their peek sexually (and they'll be more adventurous), we know they have certain vulnerabilities when it comes to flattery and attention. I know because I worked the system like a puppet...and most of the time I had an amazing sexual experience with someone that wanted nothing more from me. I was preying on older women because I thought they were the safest way to not get caught. <br />
<br />
What's the harm in that you might ask?<br />
<br />
Well the harm comes when her husband finds out...or your wife finds out. Then the lies, the degredation, the humilation, and the shame rear their ugly heads...reality comes back in to focus. The fairy tale is over. I've been a part of one older woman's divorce; her husband caught us in their home, in their bed. I felt bad for her, but in all honesty, I felt worse for him...to have to find out like that??? No man deserves that, regardless of how bad your marrage has gotten. I didn't get busted that time, and I should have, but didn't, learned my lesson...several months later, same scenario: older, attractive, affluent, needy of attention, and of course high sex-drive. It was the same scenario, only wilder and we pushed more boundaries. This one didn't end so well. Her husband found out, told my wife...now two families destroyed and rocked to the core. <br />
<br />
I've grown up now, albeit forcefully. Thankfully, I have managed to salvage my family, and I've completely changed my life. And I don't tell my story to brag, nor do I want a pat on the back or sympathy. I tell it as a caution to you women that are considering an affair. Don't fall for the flattery and the fairy-tales that men like me have come to call our craft ... and please realize, some of us have made it a skill. It's fake, hollow, and nothing (I repeat NOTHING) but harm will come from it. You are being used, and I know that most of you would never stand for being used in the common sense, so why start now?

Forget about the sex part of the affair, the true lack of morality in resides in the fact that all of you are knowingly lying, backstabbing your significant other and risking your entire marriage on something that can easily be prevented and stopped. There is nothing wrong with "living your life" inherently. But it stops being acceptable, once that "living" comes at the cost of severely hurting a dear loved one. <br />
<br />
That aspect has has no grounds for a excuse. You are entitled to your feelings and needs, but so are your husbands who feelings you all seem to disregard for simple physical pleasure. They are entitled to a faithful and trustworthy wife, so at least respect that and let them know.

Hello Dear Pleas reply me<br />
<br />
I am excited daily and muth marta huu kya ling mein kharabi aayegi<br />
<br />
abhi married naHI HUU<br />
<br />
pLEASE TELL ME OWN EXPERIENCE MERA LING THODA THEDA HOO GAYA HAI<br />
<br />
PLEASE REPLY ME

I am 30 years old and 3 years ago I began to have an affair with someone I had known most of my life. Both of us are married. His wife wishes not to have children. My husband and I could not have children. A year into the affair my husband confronted me about the affair. I started the affair because of issues we were having in our marriage. I confessed to the affair and was then told that my husband was having an affair with my lovers wife. Our affair made our relationship and marriage stronger. We continue to see our respective affair partners and a year ago I became pregnant with my lovers child. Both men where ecstatic. My husband and I feared that we would never have children and my lover can bond and spend time with his son. He does financially support his child and between the 4 of us we raise him as a whole. You may not like what I have chosen to do with my life and it may not work for you, but my affair saved not one but 2 marriages and made something that we didn't think possible happen. I now have a loving husband, a wonderful lover, and a child. I may go to hell, but I will go happy.

i,m a 47 year old women whos husband is away form home a lot some times for up to two weeks at a time. when he comes home he is hardly ever interested in sex.i have a good figure and keep my self is shape, four years a go i started an affair it is great to be desired by younger men. their all married and no sex at home and they appreciate me. judi

I stumbled across this website whilst reading up on the internet, how to deal with hurt and I must say that I am absolutely stunned at the amount of people out there who try's to justify an affair !<br />
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I have been the victim and I can tell you guys something, you say sorry and we still live with the hurt and pain for years and at the same time try to comfort ourselves, by blaming ourselves.<br />
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Marriage to me is very important and it is not ba<x>sed on how many times you have sex with your partner, the ring on your finger or the money you contribute in the relationship, but it starts with the vows you make to each other in the Church and after years of being committee and faithfully - who gives anyone the right to break your since of inner trust and emotional well being.<br />
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I am 33yrs old , my husband is a year younger we have been together for 16yrs and married for 9 yrs, we have two boys ages 6yrs & 4yrs and these kids feel you pain even though you try to hide it, they have a stronger since of feeling,,,,,,,,<br />
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I have no right to punish anyone with judgement or harsh words.<br />
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But can purely say, not because I have been a victim, but because humanly IT IS NOT RIGHT WHAT YOU ARE DOING ---- how can you say that you love someone that you are cheating on ! Does that make sense...NOT ! For a 51yr old women I think you missed out on some part of your life and now you are punishing your husband because of a sickness that anyone can get and wont ask for.<br />
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I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that when you are done with your obsession and lust ( WHICH IS TWO OF THE BIGGEST SIN"S) that you repent and ask for forgiveness.....<br />
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Disgusted, just to read these comments, find a hobby ie. knitting or buy you a vibrator but why hurt other to satisfy your lustful needs !

My comment to SRC is that is so true. I don't think age matters as much as how we act and who we really are. Whatever it is .....I am glad I have it.

How are you now?

I have two lovers. a younger one, 36 and an older one, 43. I was attracted to older men in the past but now I like them younger cause of their stamina and love for sex whereas most older men lack. Women normally reach their sexual peak at the age of 40, I did and know many of my friends did it too.

Dear All,<br />
I have read nearly 30 comments from beginning: Many supported because they themselves carry the same impulse or are compassionate to our situations whereas some completely disagreed (for whatever reason).<br />
I wish to disagree because of following reason but since god still loves us & is waiting for us to feel that love of his, I’m no one to judge you but I definitely judge myself as wrong doer.<br />
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By logics or morality, it’s not possible to decisively say who is right. It's ba<x>sed on spiritual values because we are all spirits, capable of enjoying on more and more, higher platforms equipped with real knowledge same as birds of different capabilities fly at different heights, the more & more deeper understanding of our spiritual nature will make us derive deeper pleasures in connection with god. Presently, our tastes are identified with this body called human & thus, we are attracted to other bodies same as if a man is attracted to a lady pig in desperation since he forgot that his real pleasure lies with woman.<br />
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Even religious theories are just a form because we are ignorant of our real identity (Spirit), more worse because we are even clueless in visualizing the term "Spirit". When we are fully situated in our real identity then no one can shake us since our tastes have surpassed all that is temporary and had reached to eternity (knowledge of love for God & his greatness, his beauty, his strength, his fame, his renunciation) and then, we’ll feel ultimate satisfaction lies in following God’s words for his pleasure & our pleasure lies in satisfying him.

I found one. He's younger, willing and it is fantastic. Best part is, he's not married, so no dealing with the other spouse. I go to his place, it's wonderful, for now. I am tired of all the negative hypocrisy and attitudes about affairs. Sometimes they are the best medicine for people with an open mind. I feel wonderful. Husband should understand as he's already done this himself once that I know of. No regrets. Loving it.

I never knew that older women can be attracted to younger men (and I'm really attracted to older women haha). Maybe my 40 yo very beautiful nighbor has been trying to flirt with me but I just didn't notice it because I didn't think mature women can be attracted to young men

if it makes you happy you go 4it girl i love older woman they are grate, loving humans

if it makes you happy you go 4it girl i love older woman they are grate, loving humans

Ah be willing to bet Unholyone is either having an affair or wishing like hell they could find someone they could have one with. Nothing pleases this atheist more than every report of some holy roller taking money from the infirm, or elderly, preachin' the 'Word" of the lord, then dipping his wick in the honeypot of his secretary or other 'personal' adviser. Talk about a crock.<br />
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Live your life, disregard hypocritical religious folk, and figure out how to make it happily to day last. I am.<br />
t

Optical. If at all possible., you may want to see if you could possibly engage your hubby in some sort of a swinging situation before you go off on your own. It may spice things up for both of you and help you avoid the inevitable loss of intimacy with him should you decide to engage the young man.<br />
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I agree about the younger men coming on to us. It is insane. My sex drive is raging at this point and frankly the younger guys have the energy to keep up with me. I don't know, I guess life just has stages and we are in one. A wicked and adulterous age I suppose, but I find that as I age, I am much less willing to be subjugated to the ideals of others in some sort of quest for perfection. I feel the finite nature of my life, and just like the brilliant autumn leaves which flare so colorfully prior to dying off to winter, I feel the need to express my vitality.<br />
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There will always be people who judge. That is just life. Fortunately, I do not have to listen to them, or live by their rules in order to feel acceptable. I am who I am. No apologies, I have this one life and no one else can tell me how to live it. They best be about the business of living their own life. Things change when you get older. Perspectives widen, and issues that once seemed so important really become less so.<br />
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Best of luck to you. If you are as loving with your hubby, you may want to consider involving him. He may very well suprise you! Be careful, and try to be happy.

I am not sure how I found my way onto this website...but I did. I read a little here and there and just read your post. I smiled and am still smiling. What you said had a profound feeling. Thank you :)

Wow, I can't believe what I am reading. What is it with the older woman's increasing sex drive. I feel like you, src. Except I am not having an affair yet. I am in my forties, been with my husband since I was a teenager. Never been unfaithful to him. I love him. We get along fine. He loves me a lot. He cares for me, shows me lots of love and affection. He would do anything for me and I do for he as well. We really have a great relationship. He supports me. We support each other. I could never leave him. Our problem is my increasing sex drive and his decreasing sex drive. Also, our sex has always been lacking. After more than twenty years working on trying to make things “better” I am giving up in that department. We still are active sexually, he seems to be satisfied with the way things are. I want more and I am not willing to go with out good sex any longer. I can not believe how many younger men are showing interest, it is driving me insane. I am getting more attention now than I did in my twenties. There are most definitely many younger men attracted to older women. I am in lust with one particular younger man. Just like you describe as far as the drooling and sex thoughts. WTF? I feel like a guy. I don't want to ruin mine or anyone elses marriage. I really despise that. I would just like to have a secret sex affair, but not with just any willing body. I want this one. But if he's not willing then I will find another. I hope it doesn't take me forever to find one I like as much him cause I can't really wait much longer. I don't feel guilty. I don't believe in guilt. Hey, all you judgmental people that come on here and say things like you are MARRIED!! that is so terrible blah blah blah. You haven't walked in our shoes, most of you haven't even been married and if so not for long. You have no clue, and your judgments are just as bad as the cheater, so get off your high horse.

0h5yb5dsu5 I meant to leave your comment, youhad posted the thing like 7 times in a row. I was deleting the duplicates and I wnet one too far. To the public, basically the comment was to the effect of pointing out that it was unfair to the husband and that we who do cheat are selfish.<br />
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Ok. I won't argue that. But frankly my dear, this is MY life. So if I want to wtach out for my own interests, well, then damn it, I will do so.<br />
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Bless up.

Oh my God!!! Right now I'm having problems with my husband ,because of an affair I just had!!! what can I said...it was the best one I had and I don't feel any regret. I've been married for 23 yrs,the last months its been like a roller coaster. We don't have sex as often,he is always working,and I don't feel so attracted to him its sad and painful to say it but its the . And I found this terrific young guy he is 32 and I'm 39 and I love the sex with him!!!! its fantastic....I love it...the best one I ever had...it last 2 months because he said he couldn't share me ...he couldn't be with me just a few days of the weeks and he was demanding more and more every time.and I think he got scared because I was falling in love with him...and he didn't want to be involved he just want casual sex meanwhile I want more of him I was addictive to him!~~ I'm going to miss him so much i pray every day til the day i see him again and we can stay and be together again!!! I love him so much!!!!

It's very sad that you're in this situation with a guy that wants you just for sex. It doesn't sound fair at both ends. I know by your story your husband have diabetes and your sex drive dwindled but there's pills and methods to help him achieve his sexual functions back. I really don't know if you're willing to tell your husband everything and make it work or continue hurting him behind his back.

It might not be the best thing to do if u ask from a "christian" person. But since im not, i feel its ok to do what your doing as long as u keep it discreet. At the end of the day we all have emotions and one should find a way to satisfy their needs.Good luck!

Well I am 42 and have not had sex in a few years but oral sex a few months ago. My husband is 16 years older tahn me and will not seek help for his problems and is lazy. I have tried talking to him many times but no change. I love him and have been with him for 15 years but I now feel the need to make myself happy again and I have not cheated yet but I have met a 30 year old and we both have started the motions but I have not had sex but am close to doing so. I am just hoping that I can pull it off without being found out by husband

You go ladies! Chances are at one time or another your husband probably flirted around or had some sort of affair with another women......go hard and enjoy!!!!

Life's for living you know - if you get hurt you'll deal with it and move on - that's what grown-ups do isn't it? Good luck to you xx

The answer , which you probably already know in your heart, is that you are simply a convenience. Someone who is willing to accommodate his needs while satisfying her own. I see absolutely nothing wrong in this except for the fact that you perhaps are reading too much into this relationship and will ultimately come out on the short end of the deal.<br />
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Keep your emotions in check and accept this as a momentary and pleasurable escape for both of you.

I am a 40 year old married women my husband is 20 years older than me still young at heart though but we have a lack of sex as my husband is at the age where he has to utelize pills ect to make it work...however my neighbors son of 27 years old and I have been kind of flirting with each other..he is engaged now to be married soon in 2011 and we call each other at work, when he is home alone he would call me and I would at all times go over to his place and we will caress, kiss and we have not had any sexual intercourse accept he enjoys when I suck and swallow him ..it has been happening now for a couple of months...after he comes from his fiance at night he would call me from the shower and we will have telephone sex...Question ...what is happening where is this going and is he into me????

I have just stumbled upon this posting group and it could not have been at a better time. I cannot believe all the individuals who find themselves in exactly the same "predicament" as I do. I am almost 45 and have met a 30-year-old man. We are both married; both with children.<br />
From the very innocent moment that we met, there was a strange easiness with the way we spoke and interacted. Definitely subtle flirting after a short time, but he unexpectedly leaned over and kissed me and it was like a part of me that had been dead so long was alive again.<br />
I've been married over 15 years and dated my husband almost 5 before getting married. He is the same person I fell in love with. He hasn't matured one bit. Especially in the bedroom.<br />
I thought there was something medically wrong with me and spoke with doctor after doctor about the loss of my sex drive. That one unexpected kiss was all the medical research I needed!<br />
My guy had so much guilt, not having been married as long as I, having younger children, etc., but we have been able to speak so freely and openly about everything. The passion that both of us feel for the other is unexplainable. Neither of us saw it coming, he struggles with it more than I, but that doesn't mean it is easy.<br />
During my marriage I have gone to counseling twice, once alone and once with my husband who did NOT take it seriously. He never sees any problems. My children have asked me if I think he's verbally abusive, not because he puts me down, but because he's so bossy. In my home, I am a valued commodity - a worker bee. I am a phenomenal mother and I know that if my affair were found out by my children, that someday they would totally understand. I have very open conversations with them about life, love, marriage, etc. Of course I don't share the news that mommy has a boy toy!<br />
My boy toy finds me irresistible and I have felt longing and burning desire that I have missed for so long. We know, because we are so open with each other, that this is not forever, though I have to admit that if he could "keep up" the good work, I'm good with forever!!!<br />
We don't want to hurt each other's marriages. Frankly, mine was quite damaged before he arrived. But it was decided for me that I would be out of the job market to raise the children, which was a gift, and now I am starting my own business to be able to support myself. Then my marital status WILL change.<br />
But in the meantime, I am going to enjoy every moment of passion, every previously misplaced ******, and the hands and more of a skilled lover. I get excited thinking of him so frequently and can achieve great things with just his kiss. The guy has some amazing lip action.<br />
I am not broken. I DO have a sex drive. I don't need doctors to try to figure out why I don't. I will face what the future holds because I am being better in my own home by being happier and more satisfied in general. He's that good. :)

This is to PerfectCrime: OMG! Your story sounds just like mine. I too am a married woman who had an affair with a co-worker who was 15 yrs younger than me and it was amazing!! I also have two children and made it clear to the younger guy that I was not leaving my husband. He had an issue dealing with that but our affair managed to last for over 4 years!! He realized that I would probably never be his wife so he moved on, yet we still were having sex until about 5 months ago. In that timefr<x>ame, he got another woman pregnant and made it perfectly clear to me that he loves this woman and wants to marry her. Since he wants to be with this other woman and felt bad about keeping secrets from her, he told her about us and now SHE is undecided about whether to marry him or not because he cheated on her with me.<br />
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I knew this was wrong when it started over 4 years ago, yet things just seemed to take on a life of it's own. I was devastated when I found out about the pregnancy about a week ago and have been having a hard time focusing on anything and haven't really been eating. I am not so selfish that I don't want him to have a family of his own, but it is so hard to deal with and I truly do wish him the best! When he told me about the baby and his intentions regarding her, all I could think was since she's not with you at the moment, why can't we resume our affair??!! He knew me well enough to know that that's what I was thinking and told me without any hesitation that besides it being wrong in God's eyes, he would be thinking about her the whole time he was with me. Talk about a blow to my ego?! I quickly came back to my senses and made it clear to him that I wasn't a charity case and wasn't going to beg him to spend time with me again. We ended our conversation on a good note with a tight hug and affirmations that we would stay in contact with each other via email and phone calls at work. <br />
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I will have to hold on to the memories because I don't think he's coming back to me but I would be lying if I said I didn't want him back :-). I have been in constant prayer about this and have asked God so many times to ease this pain from my heart so that I can move forward with my life but it is soooo hard!!!!!! I have also been asking for forgiveness for my actions and am (rightfully so) dealing with a tremendous amount of guilt for my actions. <br />
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If it's any consolation, PerfectCrime, know that you are NOT alone!!!

I'm glad to see I'm not alone. I am 40 and have been married for almost 20 years. The marriage has been rough, to say the least, with my husband carrying little of the weight financially or emotionally. I think it's fair to say that he hurts my quality of life more than he helps it. And yet, I can't fault him in that he's an excellent, attentive, and loving father to our teenagers. I value that tremendously, and we do have a lot in common. However, as so many others have mentioned, he has developed a chronic health problem -- it slowed him down in the bedroom, but it slowed me down more :( Mentally, maybe I'm just not maturing. I don't know. I know that I am not perfect (in health or anything else) but this condition just makes me feel like I'm having sex with an old, old man. I do NOT like it. But I hadn't done anything about it. I don't want the stress of a break-up to adversely affect his health, and stress does make him more ill. I'm a PhD student and don't need the headaches either.<br />
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So flash forward to three weeks ago. A fellow student struck up a conversation -- nothing unusual about that -- but by the end of it, he confessed to having carried a torch for me for the past year. In spite of my protests that absolutely nothing good will come of this, he insists that he wants to see me. He is 24. I don't expect it to last long and certainly not forever, but he is sweet and charming and interested in my brain (unlike my husband). We are certainly friends first and lovers second, but that lovin' is pretty good :) <br />
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For those of you who will hate on me, I have left my husband before and I always come back, always when the kids call and beg me to come home. But as far as I'm concerned, lifelong monogamy is just not something I believe in anymore (and not just since this kid called me; I didn't believe it before), but I made a commitment to those kids that goes beyond marriage vows. I'll never not be their mom and that's the most important relationship I have to maintain. But having this young man in my life has made me feel like a human again, and I'll always think of him kindly for that, no matter what else happens.

I am new here too. I am a married 45 year old woman who has just met a very hot young Brazilian man of 28! He has actually been checking me out for about 3 weeks now until I finally plucked up the courage to text him. We have been for coffee a couple of times and also an evening out. He is a complete gentleman and says its OK because we haven't and arn't doing anything wrong "yet". I know this is wrong, but this guy is driving me crazy. He kissed me on the lips when we parted the other night. It was just a normal kiss! I want this guy so much and know he feels the same but not sure how to get him to make the first move. I am quite shy and have never done this before, haven't got a clue what to do. Help!!!

Funny, I am in he same boat of sorts. I am 52 and have a 39 yr old man that wants to open my horizons. We are both married, but the difference is his wife travels for a living and has "meetings" with women and men. I have been married 27 yrs. A very religious couple we are, unfortunately I am a very frustrated wife, who has found her sexuality at last, and I want to explore it. But for me I will lose my family, my husband, and be kicked out of my religion. A man that is 39 and has a nice thick **** for a short time romp.. or sex with an overweight, diabetic, that can't get it up?

Gatorman was that post at me? Yes It feels great to be alive again. I am convinced man and woman are just not meant to stay together for an extended till death do you part amount of time. God bless the ones that can and it's few and far between. You're right about becoming emotionally attached, it does happen, it's how you control it, if your mindset is this is just sex, that's what you have to focus on and not be up the guys *** all the time and not always talk about how you want out of your marriage and your problems and try as hard as possible not to be jealous when you know he's living his life dating and having sex with other women. I can do that, as long as I get my time :) and I will Gatorman, I suuuuuuure will..LOL<br />
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Well just as I thought my guy had his mind made up and absolutely didn't want the sex anymore, he wanted to hang out last night and so we did and it was fantastic as it always is and still getting better, both of us had alot fun as we always have.<br />
I take it when I can get it and when I can't, I live my life as a mother, continue with my marriage although I am thinking of getting separated and go out with my girlfriends. I am one to stick with one guy until it ends. Can't handle more then that.

SRC, I am a 40 year old woman and had an affair with a 25 year old for about 7 months and it started the end of last year [technically I was 39 when it started and he'll be 26 next month]. I've had a couple of affairs before but this was the first time with someone 14 years younger then me. He is very mature for his age and yet immature at the same...heh aren't we all no matter what age we are. Well him and I were friends first but I knew as soon as I met him, I wanted him, he became a quest and usually I get what I've aimed for but he was a tough nut, he held out for a long time and I was throwing it out there left and right. Finally we did it and it was great, we had a nice routine down and along we went on our merry affair. The kicker is I met him at work and my husband also works at the same place but we are all in different parts of the building, my husband is cooped up where he is and really cant leave where as my guy and I have much more freedom. After awhile, my guy was getting very paranoid about getting caught, fearing for his job and just being "that guy" what if this got out and how embarrassed he would be. Well that pretty much ruined everything and I tried to explain to him that I've done this before with someone else 4 years ago that also worked there and we had a great affair for two years and never got caught and it ended pleasantly. <br />
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My guy has his mind made up doesn't want to hear it about not getting caught, you can always get caught according to him and he's right but never have I ....YET. But he really, really didn't want to lose my friendship, we were really close and that was making thing pretty tough. To make a long story short, after going back and forth, friends, not friends, friends again, now we truly are friends again. See I got addicted to him, he was like an ob<x>ject to me, the sex was an escape from my marriage, a marriage that shouldn't of happened in the first place, then a house and 2 kids later, yes one finds it hard to leave especially now. He knew I didn't want to leave my marriage for him or want anything more then sex and a great friendship. I was finding that my addiction to be with him was so bad that I couldn't be friends with him, it too hard, I felt like I was torturing myself. Ever since I told him that he backed off, after a few weeks, I told him I was sorry that I ruined our friendship over not being able to handle not having sex with him, that going to lunch with him, chatting with him, hanging out after work every once in a while was just too much for my sexual desire for him and that now I was over it and able to handle hanging with him and being like how we were, buddies. Now he's back in my life, we are really good friends and he...right now...wants nothing to do with a sexual affair and I don't know if he ever will again. I gotta admit it kinda confuses me as to why he really wants to be such a close friend and yet has this complete control over himself. I gotta admit it's not easy as my desire for him is still pretty ferocious and I am controlling it but I'll take him in my life however I can have him. My addiction to him is still there...ya think...LOL.<br />
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I have to admit, he seems like he's being the older wiser one in this situation, telling me it's wrong and he played this like gambling, he got out while he was ahead. Something must still be there for him to still want my company alot.

Torn,<br />
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My heart goes out to you, for you grapple with the flesh versus what you know is the moral thing to do. I don't know if men realize just what a blow to our self esteem it is when they are unable to perform. Intellectually, you tell yourself that it is a physical condition and no one is to blame. But that little voice inside tells you that you are getting old and no one wants you anymore and your time is running out. <br />
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Yes, I took the less honorable path and as you can see many would love to stone me to death. But perhaps I will never be good enough to meet standards that society sets for me. In your case, just be very careful. There is a saying that there is pleasure in sin for a season, and this is true. If you do decide to go for it, you had best understand upfront the difference between just sex and actually developing feelings. I promise you, you will develop feelings. <br />
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Sometimes I think the answer is to travel to an island have wild vacation sex and never see the person again! I have come to a point in my life where I do not believe there is any one person who can be everything to me, but then again I have endured a lot of mental abuse so I may just be resigned to my screwy appetites. Be kind in your choices, both to you family and to yourself.<br />
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Whatever you choose, accept what you get from it. I wish I had better advice, but it would fall somewhere between extremes: Thou shalt not commit adultery and hey, join Ashley Madison.com. Best of luck to you, and keep your self sane.

Nicki. <br />
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Before you take this step, I would first try spicing it up with hubby. I understand boredom quite well, but once you do have sex outside the marriage you can never undo it, so I would perhaps make that a last option. <br />
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Perhaps your husband is also bored -- it is really nornal for that to happen.I had some friends who were into wife swapping which seemed to spice them enough, but there are other things. It is quite possible that your very real attraction to this new man may lead to deeper feelings (and I say this from experience). <br />
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My marriage had literally become dead in the boudour so it was either toys, continual ************, or celibacy. At the same time my hormones kicked in and my sex drive was (and is) almost insatiable.Not an easy answer. <br />
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You would enjoy the sex, but it will come at a cost. Exhaust other solutions first. You may just find that you and hubby become swingers in your own right. <br />
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Whatever you choose, it is your life. No one else has the right to judge you (although they will) and at the end of the day, you are the one who must determine what works for you. Good luck to you.

Src, I have been married (2nd marriage) to a wonderful man who is also a wonderful father to our kids. But, in 10 years of marriage, we have not had any sex or intimency for the past four years. He has been type 2 diabetic for 15 years. I recently met a man 10 years younger than me (I am 49) that is very interested. I am so conflicted at this point. I don't want to ruin my marriage or hurt my husband or kids (should the affair be discovered if I do indeed proceed), but the thought of NEVER having sex again is more than I can handle. There are other things that diabetics can do for their spouses in the name of intimency but my husband just wants to keep his head stuck in the sand. I have talked to him about this and even questioned him as to if he was using his diabetees as an excuse to not have relations with me anymore. He isists he loves me and that he would if he could and that it is very upsetting to him and would prefere to not have to discuss it. I want to believe him, but I want to feel like I am a desirable woman again and I very much miss sex and intimency. My other fear is that I end up developing feelings for this person I am contiplating having the affair with and that scares me too....I don't want to ruin my marriage or destroy my family. I have even approached him with the idea of having an "open" marriage so that I can have my needs fulfilled. He was against that idea 100% and very upset that I would even bring it up. I am so flipp'n confused right now.

I understand your feeling may I know how old is your husband?
my advice to you is to be patient who knows what is the future hidding for you since you care so much for your family, there are always a way of sorting things out.

hmmmm. to comment on a previous reply - judge not lest ye be judged. EVERY sin is judged the same in God's eyes, none is worse than the other. So, telling even a white lie puts you on the same level as Hitler or serial murderer, or an adulterer. It's fine to disagree with another person's life choices, but it's never okay to judge them and put them down. I don't care how educated you are or what kind of life you have led to this point, it's flat wrong to presume you know best for another person. I would wager that just about every single person involved in an affair felt like you at some point in their lives. and then something happened to change that - everyone has a different story and a different set of circumstances. It could happen to you too 30 years down the road, so I wouldn't be so smug if I were you. If you don't like it, don't read the stories on this forum. It's that simple. Bashing people and their choices WILL NOT change anyone's mind. If you truly what them to see what you believe is the error of their ways, you should be like Jesus and treat them with love and compassion.

You would be suprised on how many men likes older women that's what I'm looking for I just hope that an older woman will appreciate me more in bed than my wife does

hi,i am a guy.i like a women father's brothers wife.i like her every body parts and i luv her that much.she is 42 and only 23.she know iam having lust for her or love her like an adult.but she wont act like that to me.she also likes a bit but family and relation blocks i think.how can i activate her more or seduce her more.pls guide me ,my beautifull hot ladies.pls,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,............................

Generally ,don't judge people by their ages. I'm 18, but I'm graduating College level right now. I might not be as experienced as most of you are. However, I can claim that I've aged enough to distinguish fairness, unfairness, justice or sins. <br />
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For whatjusthappened, what you've said was correct. My parents are babysitting me, but it was my choice whether to become a criminal destroying the society or a doctor saving countless of lives. And my story is different, I wasn't even born in my home country, me and my parents traveled and moved a lot. There were hardships even for me. i know it's nothing compared to you experienced guys. I'm not saying my relationship is serious, I'm not claiming I know everything. But cheater is a cheater, cheater is always a low entity, no matter the situation, whether is it cheating during tests, games or cheating in relationships. Just because someone doesn't have a brain, doesn't mean he/she should be dishonest and use dirty tricks during test. Same goes for you ma'am, just because your husband doesn't have the ability to satisfy your intimacy, doesn't mean you're going behind him and stab him with no mercy. My suggestion is to face him and talk with him. Tell him how you're feeling. If you really love him, show him that you didn't mean to break his trust. <br />
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But a cheater doesn't have the right amount of courage to confess. To stand in front of the person that she's most afraid of. You're afraid he'll found out. You're too scared that's why you're sharing your experience here. You want support from others, you want others to agree that you're not doing any inappropriate actions to strengthen your belief. You're afraid of carrying the guilt. You want to blame it on the human natural behavior and instincts. <br />
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That's just too sad. Right now, you're just making an idiot out of your husband. He doesn't know anything, absolutely nothing about you. He doesn't know that you're attacking him right now. He doesn't know that you're meeting someone that is your main priority instead of him. Intimacy isn't everything in this world and it's not the most important thing. You should sacrificed for others, mainly for your children. <br />
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Better to tell him now. Because if he finds it by himself that might be the last time you'll ever see him as your husband. Adding to that this is how you'll become the causer of a murder scene.

You are entitled to your opinion. So far as getting my facts straight, I woyuld have to say it was you who bid me to say hello to Hitler in Hell. Enjoy the fact that I am going to Hell you judgmental little twit. Just wait unti you have walked a mile in my shoes my young pup. You think you know everything; you are still wet behind the ears.<br />
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Nope. Not going to live without intimacy to save myself from Hell. Besides, no matter what "ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" soooooooo... well just keep casting those stones matey. ;)

Dude seriously - in your whole 18 years LOL??? heaven and hell --- you gotta be joking.<br />
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Talk again in 15 years time, when you've actually lived a bit, up until now your parents have done everything for you. WTF 18 years, what do you actually think you know about anything in your 18 years, that's been just enough to hopefully finished high school. Not to mention that your idea of a relationship is probably a stolen kiss after sunday school...<br />
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Oh by the way... hi all I'm new year... and enjoying this.

Yes, I chose "devil" in my name. So what? <br />
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Oh yes, read again, I've said I never expected you to be perfect. So why the heck are you still talking about "perfection is a fallacy?". You aren't perfect, however, you're far below the level of a "common" person. <br />
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As I mentioned, you should be a great example for the young generation and should be a little bit of contribution to this society. Are you just living for the intimacy? Life is complicated and short, yes, that's why few people are joining the heaven and the rest are joining the hell. When you found it so hard to survive, then why did you swear in front of the God about the promise never being unfaithful no matter the sadness, the illness and so, while marrying your husband in church. Not only you've betrayed your husband, but you have also back-stabbed God. <br />
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I've never said that your sins are equal to a serial killer, get the right fact and stop distorting them. Nevertheless, betraying a God is enough to buy a ticket to hell. I would join you there? To be honest, in my 18 years, I haven't done something so wrong to deserve to be in that place, but I'd make sure that I will never fall is such a low state as you are right now. You have fallen, because betrayers and liars like you don't have their space in heaven. Just like Satan, he has betrayed God and has fallen so low. <br />
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If you're talking about social morals, then go to a jungle to live, if this kind of civilization is bothering you. I might understand you, but I might not understand how did you get the ability to hurt someone behind the back so pathetically. I might be harsh, but more or less, you just deserve it.<br />
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What goes around comes back around

Interesting that "devil"man chose to have the devil in his name. Guess hwat after 52 years of life I think I know that human perfection is a fallacy. In truth I may go to Hell but I suspect that you yourself may w ell join me for something if that is the case. Life is complicated, and short. But if my having a relief to the lack of intimacy in my life makes me equal in your eyes to someone who slaughtered millions of people then YOUR version of heaven is going to be rather empty I suspect.<br />
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Good luck to you. I wish you no ill and you are entitled to your beliefs. I am not here to live in a manner which meets your acceptable social mores and you are not here to meet mine. With ages comes empathy, understanding, and yes forgiveness. I pray you find enlightenment to temper your harshness.

I know you're not perfect, no human is perfect. But damn, a ******* common human knows that cheating is wrong. There's a reason why they are called humans, because unlike the animals, they have their natural sexual lust under their control and sometimes you should use your damn useless human brain and try not to hurt the one who has the tight bond with you over some 30 years. Moreover, the fact that noone knows, especially the one who is called "husband", makes you even more pathetic than you are. Just keep backstabbing your husband, when the justice arrive, noone will be by your side, even your children will be looking down on you. <br />
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You don't deserve to be a good mother or wife. If you're tired of earning the money or having any issues, try having some communications with him. Leave your family, you're supposed to be a great example for next generation, but it seems like you're just an useless slutty woman to us. I pity you, woman, your children deserve much more better than this. <br />
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If you need only sex, go join a night club and be a sex worker, sell your body, you receive sex and money at the same time, killing two birds with one stone. Keep going so that we youngsters can look down on you. <br />
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Yes, you can't control it? Oh really? You sound like my little brother who can't control his pee time. Or better, you sound like some dogs making love in public, because comparing you with my little brother is too much insult for him. <br />
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You never regret it? Let's see, the day you receive AIDS.<br />
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Good luck in your life. <br />
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Send me greetings from Hitler, when you reach the hell. <br />
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Farewell ****

Who ever you are is not the way to talk to someone in this way out of respect even if this person doing something wrong you cannot talk to them in this way

one thing i learned 3 years ago is walk a mile in someone else's shoes and then judge. i fell hard for someone 16 years younger and i am married. my husband claims to love me and is a good person but has no affection or attention to give me. we have 2 children and make a great parenting team. however he has sexual issues that i can no longer handle on my own. he has actually offered me to neighbors and such without my knowledge. any way 3 years ago i was introduced to a young man (18 at the time) i fell hard and quick. he wouldn't leave me alone and was constantly hugging me! my hubby hugs me one handed when i ask and then very quickly. the young one loves to hug and cuddle and just be with me. while we have not been intamite physically we care so much about eachother and this relationship has given me much happiness. as women we have to take care of our needs to and i say go for it.