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Married Woman Having Affair With Younger Married Man

I am a 51 year old woman who has been married for over 20 years. I had never been unfaithful to my husband in all these years, until recently. Although our marriage has been rocky, I just did not feel the need to seek gratification elsewhere.

ABout 3 years ago my husband developed Diabetes and the sex simply has stopped.  I found myself totally in lust with a married 36 year old man at work. I look at him and practically drool. I look ok for my age, but of course I figure a few more years and no one will want me at all. Long story short, I initiated an affair of sorts with this man. Our only liasons have been in the closet once at work, and the back seat of his suv in a parking lot.

I want him. I figure nothing can really come of it -- I am so much older, we are both married, etc. but I keep lusting after him.  I don't know where this will wind up. I do NOT want anyone to know. I do NOT want to ruin his marriage. I DO want to have wild sex with him.

I am beyond redemption in this, and I figure he does not want me as much as I want him. I have questions in my mind, but frankly, I don't care. I am going to have him as long as I can, even though it is hardly ever and I know it is a dead end. I know everyone would find me despicable for this, but I absolutely ache for his kiss. He is pretty aloof with me (I imagine he is having his own mental mess over this) but we are professional with each other at work (except when I tempt him via a message to meet me) and we have a few very passionate moments.

Life is short. I am an imperfect being. I do not want this to end at present.

Src Src 51-55, F 106 Responses Jan 18, 2009

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you go girl

I am feeling exactly the same with a much younger married guy but so far there has not been any personal touching, not that I would love this to happen. I will say though. U need to start thinking about backing off and starting thinking u have had your tension release, and let him go as I can see it will end in misery for all involved. Best wishes to u.
And half your luck.

Hi Sre, your post was awhile already but I can relate. I am involved with a married coworker right now. We just really connect - we can talk for hours and don't feel bored. He's a very smart person and i fell in love with that. I know our relationship will not be forever. He will never leave his family for me, but I just enjoy his company. I will be hurt in the end because i am in love with him.
Thank you for sharing.

be happy and make others happy

Hi Sre their is lot guys who realy want a women like u, if he is not that interested y u dont look for someone. Obiviously if i was in near you defenitly i should have take the oppertunity. Me too married but complicated relation.. what to do its faith!!!!

If a man (or alternatively a woman) have developed an aversion for sex, trying to force them would not just be disturbing, it would actually be a spychological trauma...

The only way out is a secret pact with some one else - preferably of same age. Younger men (or women) are certainly nicer to have, but then many of them discuss it too soon with some one else (lack of maturity). Now, that may spoil the married life actually ! Because marriage is not just for sex alone.

So, chhose a man (or a woman if you are a man) of similar age. May be a little less charming, but believe me it is a lot safer !

Since I am a sex - 'psychologist', I know what I am suggesting. For small advices, my services are free.

However, for long discussions (and one to one sittings), I charge reasonably.

You can write to me at : slowcharm2007@yahoo.co.in with subject line as below

------advice for married life------

Bless you all,

Slowan

I am 53 years old woman and have been married for 14 years and we have been together of 20 years. I have never cheated on him until recent. My husband and I have not had a normal sex life for nearly 7 years and absolutely no sex for 2 years. I recently had sex with a guy who is going through a divorce he is 37 years old and it was amazing. we said that we would not let it happen again but it did and again it was amazing. I am sexually attracted to him, I don't want anything with him but sex. I work with him, so I don't want thing to get complicated, but oh do I want to have sex with him again and again!

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where the hell he ***** you at work , private place , hotel , how come still this is secret ..LOL

Hmmmmmmm.....whatever happed here?? What is the rest of the story?

Whell If your husband thinks you have been loyal maby you should come clean. You need to work on communicing wit him. Maby he suspected your extra-marital affair and closed up.

i am sorry your in this mess. i dont know what to tell you. i have read a book that may help called...."on the alter of sexual idolatry." if there ever comes a time when you feel you have to move on it may help.

My Dear Mam,

Will you write to me. I will be your lover. I will be answering every mail of yours if you would make them. I will gradually meet you. Please try giving me your love and affection and kisses. Kindly contact me straight away.

life is too short.....

what makes affairs go ugly is when 1 person changes the original understanding.

....starts....as NSA....okay...

...them someone wants more....

the sercret here is finding the right person....

1. maturity.....not adults are.

2. chemistry.....must

3. trust....i have your back, you got mine.

4. separation clause.....anyone wants to walk away, they should, without major drama and guilt.

Darling even I want a woman of ur age to **** .u r mature with nice bumps and bid boobs cm hve sex with me

Mmm. I want you too... Haha. I'm young ;) no seriously, I want an older woman around your age

i met a man online game we started talking playing the game and flirting happened, interenet sex happened, yes there is such a thing haha finally emails text messages and phone calls. Met each other had wonderful kissing and meeting. both married he got a divorce i have not. I am 55 hes 47 i have been married 38 years. got married at 17 to tell you the truth dont think i was ever in love with my husband. I love him yesi think more like a brother. I want a divorce but its very complicated and i know i will hurt him terribly, the kids family everyone. I know it will take time, but i am wanting this other man so much, I'm pretty sure i have fallen in love with him and he has fallen in love with me. we cant get enough of each other,can't stop thinking of each other texting or calling. It has consumed me. We do live in different states. Hard part is the betrayal to my husband who does love me, we do have sex, terrible sex but we do have it. Its hard to have sex with both but the problem is i have to with the hubby want to with the lover. until the day comes i can let go of the hubby this is what i have to do. very difficult. after near 40 years how do you let it go? how do you hurt someone like that? the mental agony is the worst torment ever, but I am in love with my lover. I need to give it time.Is it possible its just a fantasy or imagination or the sex drive that keeps me in it? I dont know i know i want the lover very much the way he makes me feel is so incredible i have never felt like this before. i always wondered if i was in love with my husband i always wondered what love felt like,now i feel something i never felt before it sisnt the sex its everything. I smile when i think of the lovers faces what he says or does. i feel nothing for the hubby anymore is this natural after all these years? is this really love i feel with the lover or fantasy? have i bulit him up to be the perfect man or what? when i am with him i want him as bad as he wants me so sex happened, wether i am with him or not i just feel like i love him so much it hurts. I don't know what to do or think i guess I need to give it time. could you tell me what love feels like? How do you know the difference? I love my family, I love my husband like i said i think its more like a brother i dont feel the passion or intensity like I feel for my lover.

grandmama1156,
Your story is so similar to mine. I have been married for 32 years and I just turned 60 yrs old. I am having an affair with a man 10 years younger than me. The sex is fantastic. We are both married and do not want to change our status. We met on Ashley Madison. I am married to a man who I have mixed feelings for but also feels more like a brother. I know this post is over a year old but would love to start a conversation with you. I have not told anyone about my affair and would love to talk to someone. Lee

i experience i sex with younger than my age..... i love sex....it feel happy .. my husband cannot give me total satisfaction im just human just need personal need that my husband cannot give .... i been sex any young male ever since when we just first year of marriage been doing that secretly i dont know i got arroused with young male... i cannot feel enjoyment if i cannot sex with them...it make me happy.... now we are 25 years marriage.. still my husband never notice i do affair with other young males......i did for 25 years secretly and lie making false reason to go out.....now it part of my life doing sex addicted......i was confused who is the real father first elder son before we get married i had sex 3 mens . we did that 1 day a time.....i keep the secret of mine for 26 years he never know.....i dont have plan to tell him.. i like to be playful of sex, affair in marreid,.... i love sex secret.....it make me satisfy

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how r u dear

that sounds spectacular

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1 More Response

i will not judge you cause i cannot cast the first stone myself....but i believe a marrige takes two to make it work....look at it from this point of view and see for ur self what damage you have done.....imagine you falling sick or having health problems and for this reason your husband decides to sleep around without ur knowledge .....if you find out how will you feel and what will you have done......can you ever love him again as you do before knowing...can you ever trust as it use to be....will u ever respect him again... and how will the wife and the children of the guy you cheat with feel about him......u want and personal desires can and will destroy a lot of happy peoples home...think about this...will you be happy then.....why not tell your husband about how you feel he might understand and arrange for you to be in a swinger group or any other way to make you fulfilled...rather than doing it at his back....the golden rule is do unto others what you what you want them do to you ...thanks

I am also married & having an affair but with a single man. Sometimes he feels like he shouldn't be doing this. It took almost 6 months to get to the sex, which is amazing. But how do you deal if he doesn't want to as much as you? I'm always afraid he'll stop responding to my texts. We don't ever see each other except for sex.

hi..im a married woman. i love my husband. we dont have time for each other and when we have he spends time with his hobby that he adores.. i work at night and he work during the day so we dont have time for eachother. i met this guy at work and hes hot, single, kind to everyone and i m crazy bout him. my hubby knows that i work with men and i go out with them once in a while after work so why cant he open his eyes and realize that he is abbandon me and can throw me into anther mans arms. i cant stay without sex, makin out and the hugs and the kisses. this guy tells me im sexy and if i wenent married hed go out with me for sure. that s it. we find ourselfs alone but we never did notin except talks and keep on talkin. i talked to my hubby bout what i want and what i need but he doesnt care though he loves me much, im sure hes not cheatin 100%. im writing with tears in my eyes. We went through a very rough time and when i say rough pfff and that tored us apart. we never faught bout him or me cheatin cause we nver did. in our relationship. If he could give me some love i could end this crush before it goes deeper. i dont know what to do. my manager tells me go with him just one night stand to pleasure yor dreams. but i dont want sex. i dont know what i want from this crush... if he feels the same lets start from there. hes gettin like away from me cause he nkows that i m married. please escuse my english cause that s not my first language. thanks pls help and dont judge me. .

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The only person you hurt is yourself. Unfortunatly he will one day say i am not interested I LOVE MY WIFE and the moments of pleasure become only a memory, then hate intervenes because he ignores you. The pain goes on after you cannot stop thinking of him.. this life is not designed to fill your belly its a life with very little forfillment.. And whatever you do will bite you harder in the ***! for what? a moment of pleasure that is only a memory and the fact that you feel used?

Its not worth it! You live your life make it worthy life....

I can't and don't want to judge anyone. But if it feels no okay, it is not okay and no matter how enjoyable it starts out, it will never be enjoyable when it ends. And END it will!! Mind you, there is no secret under the earth. It is only a question of when, not if others find out!

hey baby if u wanna talk hit me up at 720675-6127

em a 21 yrs old young boy in need of an affair....interested peoples plz contact me....

Good for you! enjoy while it last, life is short and is like you said you don't know how much longer you will pull something like this as you get older so if you have the opportunity take it and go with it.

FLEE FROM THIS WOMAN BECAUSE SHE IS GOING TO MESS YOUR MARRIAGE AND HERS TOO. PROBABLY HER MARRIAGE IS ON THE ROCKS.SECONDLY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE RESPECTED OTHERWISE CONFUSION IN THE SOCIETY WILL REIGN AND IF CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED, IDENTITY CRISIS WILL FOLLOW AFTER BREAK DOWN OF MARRIAGE..THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS ONE CAN HANDLE THE ISSUE OF SEX IN MARRIAGE..JUST TALK TO YOUR WIFE AND INVOLVE COUNSELLORS AND A STRONG SUPPORT GROUP.THERE IS NO SINGLE TIME THAT A PERSON HAS DIED BECAUSE OF LACK OF SEX.THERE MANY WAYS YOU CAN BURN AWAY THE SEXUAL ENERGY.LET US NOT GLORIFY SIN .LET ME POSE A QUESTION: DO YOU CONSIDER CHEATING ,STEALING,BACKSTABBING GOOD THINGS AND IF THEY ARE DONE TO YOU WILL YOU NOT FEEL OFFENDED?.SURELY WE NEED TO VALUE OURSELVES BY DOING THINGS THAT ARE GOOD.EVERY ONE WAS BORN TO ACHIEVE A DESTINY IN LIFE AND LEAVE A LEGACY.THEREFORE IT IS BEFITTING FOR US TO LIVE RIGHT ALTHOUGH THERE MIGHT BE WEAKNESSES IN OUR MORALS.WE REQUIRE A STRONG WILL POWER TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT BECAUSE GENERALLY PEOPLE LIKE TO DO THE WRONG THING ALWAYS SINCE THAT GIVES A FORM OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION.