Married Woman Having Affair With Younger Married Man
I am a 51 year old woman who has been married for over 20 years. I had never been unfaithful to my husband in all these years, until recently. Although our marriage has been rocky, I just did not feel the need to seek gratification elsewhere.
ABout 3 years ago my husband developed Diabetes and the sex simply has stopped. I found myself totally in lust with a married 36 year old man at work. I look at him and practically drool. I look ok for my age, but of course I figure a few more years and no one will want me at all. Long story short, I initiated an affair of sorts with this man. Our only liasons have been in the closet once at work, and the back seat of his suv in a parking lot.
I want him. I figure nothing can really come of it -- I am so much older, we are both married, etc. but I keep lusting after him. I don't know where this will wind up. I do NOT want anyone to know. I do NOT want to ruin his marriage. I DO want to have wild sex with him.
I am beyond redemption in this, and I figure he does not want me as much as I want him. I have questions in my mind, but frankly, I don't care. I am going to have him as long as I can, even though it is hardly ever and I know it is a dead end. I know everyone would find me despicable for this, but I absolutely ache for his kiss. He is pretty aloof with me (I imagine he is having his own mental mess over this) but we are professional with each other at work (except when I tempt him via a message to meet me) and we have a few very passionate moments.
Life is short. I am an imperfect being. I do not want this to end at present.