Started As Friends.

I have been married for over 20 years and for most of it I have been unhappy. I got married at 19. That was the first mistake. Nevertheless here I am. I met someone a year ago and at first it was all innocent. We just had similar interests and he too had gotten married young and wasn't happy. We exchanged phone calls, emails dinner movies etc. Over time I could feel myself getting more attached to him emotionally but I tried to keep my feelings at bay. He recently told me that he was in love with me and I admitted to him that I was in love with him. That's when  our relationship became physical and boy is it good. We are both still with our spouses but starting to talk of our future. My feelings scare me a little. So I have decided to just enjoy and take a day at the time.

ringleader68 ringleader68
41-45
4 Responses Feb 23, 2009

Best thing you can do it just live day to day and enjoy everything. Good for you!!!!!!!!

yes i am not happy either and when these 2 other men came in to my life well i fell in love with both and that is hard on is married and one is not the sad thing is neither one has said theylove me one has he cares for me alot the other well it is very weird with him one day he cares and then the other he dont want to talk to me at all and i hae tired to end it with the o ne i n fl but i cant and the one that is close to me here , he is married 2 but we still talk and want to meet but neither one really can et away from spouses since we both been caught they both watch what we do,this is our both first affair and i love him deeply wel i do both i need some kind of help to help me to find away for the married man and me to meet and then the o ne in fl i need help all around with him

I am top dollar in this marriage and have been so for 18 years of it. Things are not always black or white. It would take too much typing to cover 20+ years of experiences but thanks for your "insight".

Youve stayed with someone for 20 years and youve been unhappy for most of it? Wow, not the brightest crayon in the box, now are you?<br />
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I would think, if youre unhappy with someone, you would LEAVE them instead of sticking around in a situation where youre completely miserable. Instead, you chose to have an affair, when you couldve just as easily left hubby and moved on with your life.<br />
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My guesses: <br />
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1. You stayed because he took care of you financially. If so, then you basically used him for everything he could give you. What a wonderful human waste you are IF you did that.<br />
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2. You didnt want to leave because youre scared of going out on your own. Weak excuse, IF thats the case.<br />
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3. He was abusive and kept you as a prisoner in your own home. If thats the case, he needs to be in jail, and you shouldve been gone a long time ago....IF thats the case.<br />
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Is it not possible for people, when they are not getting what they want out of a relationship, to just LEAVE the other person and both of you move on with your lives? Or, maybe discuss an open relationship? Has it not been shown time and time again the emotional, and physical tolls that are taken on people when they find out thier spouse has been unfaithful?<br />
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If you dont care about that person in ATLEAST that respect, then you need to question what kind of person YOU are.