What Do I Do?

I have been married to my husband for 12 years and we have been together for a total of 18 years. I have fell in love with another man. He is not just another man. He is a freind of mines as well as my husband. We have been having an affair for over a year now. He has been with his wife for over 20 years. We have tried many many times to stop. I want to allow him to fall back in love with his wife and I want to try and work things out with my husband. But it's impossible. My whole situation is so difficult, I have 3 young children, he has 3 older children... and he is 12 years older then me. But we are crazy in love with each other. We don't know what to do... we hate the whole situation and what we are doing to our family, but yet we can't seem to keep away from each other. When we do stay away from each other or stop our communication, we can't be our self and it just hurts really bad... What do we do..Help!!!

princessluv princessluv
31-35
4 Responses Feb 26, 2010

you do need to step back and consider what you want from the relationship, and if you and your boyfriend are on the same page. It is possible to have a strong, loving relationship outside the marriage and still keep the marriage intact. Many people do it successfully. However, it's critical that this is the same motivation for both of you. If one of you wants more or something different, it won't work. So, if you decide that you two ultimately want to be together, then take steps in that direction with honesty toward your spouses. If you are happy with having something on the side, then resolve to enjoy what you have together here and now and don't worry about the future.

if u can't keep away from this other guy be truthful tell ur husband that u dont love him anymore , have been cheating on him & u r madly in love with this other guy . may be he will himself let u go

My input's mostly the same with tdh1. It could be that these strong emotions have to do with the fact that this is something you can not have thus making them stronger and far more passionate than what you have with your husband.<br />
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In any case, it's still all up to you. I'd suggest trying a more drastic way of cutting all communication with him but it doesn't seem doable in your case so... what else can I say?

i hope you don't find me out of line but i must ask are you sure it's love and not the infatuation of being with someone new? i would make sure it was true love before you both broke up your marriages and it blows up in your face....take it from someone who has been down that road.