Online Love

My DH (Darling Husband) had showed me this online MMORPG game, which he had started playing, and wanted me to play with him. I enjoyed playing the game. I was good at it, and rose to high levels very quickly. A fact my DH disliked. There were lots of people, and I got to be myself, for once.

My DH likes to be in control of things. Money, decisions, what we do, where we go, who we're with. I always had to ask permission, check with him if it was ok...well in this game we played, I didn't need to anymore. I was finally free. Free to be myself, be who I wanted to be. Decisive, opinionated, with out having to worry about reprisal. So I thought, I got the reprisal in real life, when the computers were turned off. Yelling, screaming, slamming doors, throwing things...I lived in constant fear.

About one month after I started playing, I started talking to this man. A wonderful man. Kind, generous, patient, understanding, funny. Like me in so many ways. And he became a friend, a confidant. I told him about home, how things were, and he supported me, listened to me. When I'd cry about what DH would do and say to he, he comforted me...when I was scared, he'd call me and stay on the phone with me until everything was DH hated him. DH hated all the friends I had made in the game. People I Skype, and we talk not only about the game, but about everything, our works, our days. But he hated this man more than the rest...

The types of conversation we had ranged from cooking to reading, movies, and our pasts to things of a more sexual nature. No holds barred. One morning, my DH walked in one of those conversations. He went mad. Walked out the door and at that moment, I realized that it was really truly over between DH and me... and I was going to ask for a divorce.

I couldn't bear the constant anger anymore, always having to walk on eggshells in case something I did or said made him angry. I wanted to be with the man who was willing to move 2700 miles to be with me, the man who'd care for me, who has the softest, most calming voices I've ever heard. A man who loved me, loved my opinions and wanted me to be challenging myself and him to be better persons. We debate, but it doesn't turn into a fight, we disagree, but the conversation doesn't end with one feeling guilty about thinking the way he/she does and why. We accept each other, and our pasts, and realize that our experiences made us who we are.

I'm in Canada, him in California..but we love each other. He's moving here in 80 some days...packing up his car, and driving 2700 miles to be with me...

I had been unhappy for several months prior to starting the game. That game became my hide-away from my life...from the yelling.. and the screaming.. and the pain... without it, I'd never met my new love, or had the courage to leave a start a new life with my daughter. Maybe it's because I was caught having an online emotional affair. But I'm going to happy again. I'm going to enjoy being in a relationship with someone who truly cares for his woman. And I can't wait.

CanadianBelle CanadianBelle
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 10, 2010

i also wish you all the best and hope you find the kind of emotional safety you have been missing and that you surely deserve...above all else, i hope you find that within yourself, for

Thank you, <br />
<br />
I'm not excusing what I did or why I did it. it happened. And i'm oing to move on from the aweful relationship I was in to something bigger and better.

I'm sure there are hundreds if not thousands on EP that are wishing you the best of luck! Bill in Va.