Torn In Two

It hurts! I'm married as well. We are all friends. My husband and I are nothing alike. We never see eye to eye. We don't fight, we are just different. Neither one of us is happy right now. My affair, he is my best friend. It has been going on for 2.5 years. We want to leave our spouses and show them the respect we have failed to show them during this whole thing. It hurts like hell. I am losing everything. I expect no sympathy, but I am human and to know that I am not in love with my husband and to stay with him only for our son is wrong. The pain from all of this is so deep. We have recently ended the affair part and decided to go our separate ways while we figure out our family situation. We have realized that to be caught will bring so much pain and sadness to our families and we do not want to hurt them like that. This sadness is ours to endure. We are losing one another to hopefully come back together some day. But what are the chances? He keeps telling me that he doesn't want to lose me and that I am not going to lose him, but my heart is so broken. I am losing everything. I don't know where to go from here.