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Boyfriend And I Having Arguments...

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 6 months. About a month ago I started feeling empty and like the relationship wasn't as exciting. So he visited me for a few days and it was really tense. I got mad over little things and was a jerk. On the way back, I lost it and panicked and told him if he wanted to break up, do it now and not over the phone. I guess he got upset by all the questions I was asking and assumptions I was making... anyway he said we should go on a week-long "temporary break" and see each other again and see how we feel. Well I've been really upset over this because I hate uncertainty. He texted me today saying he didn't know what was going on (I deleted my facebook and my myspace accidentally said single). I told him I miss him and he said he misses me too. I just don't want to lose him. I apologized for the way I acted. He said we would see what happens when we see each other again. What do I do? Should I not contact him and let him do it? I don't want to act pushy (I've been that way in the past and it's only gotten me into trouble). Can anyone help? I'm really upset :(  Thanks. 
princesscaroline87 princesscaroline87 22-25, F 7 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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I can relate. I researched about how to understand my boyfriend more and I found this site. My beautiful distracton. <br />
http://bookofdistraction.blogspot.com/2010/10/ways-to-make-your-boyfriend-happy.html

It sounds like you are ready for a full relationship. All relationship has worries in it and hard times. I've learned it takes communication to get through it. Start learning that skill now, because it will be invaluable in the future.<br />
The courting stage is always fun, exciting, hot and amazing. The relationship can be the same. It takes work, like anything worthwhile. You don't get to control if he worries or not. That's his decision. If it was me, tell me! Let me know how you're feeling, maybe I'm feeling the same way.<br />
My ex hardly ever told me anything about how she was doing. It just wasn't done in her family. So our sex life was pretty much the same thing, and when I tried something different it scared her. So when we had our break up sex (I know, the old cliche) I decided that I was going to do everything I wanted to do and just went for it. And it was amazing! Later on she asked why I didn't do that before, and I told her because she didn't want me too. Well she did, she was just too worried about what I would think about her for liking it. So that was a big reason why she cheated on me. Cause she could use the men for her needs without worrying about what they think.<br />
Simple communication, share who you are and let people love you, loathe you, hate you, befriend you. Be yourself and share it with others.

The whole feeling like my relationship is dying happened with my last boyfriend too and I eventually broke it off. That's why I'm scared it's happening here. I should note that this is a long distance relationship (NY to DE) and we just spent a week and a half straight together which we never do. That's when the fighting started. I guess I expect it to be exciting all the time and it just won't be.<br />
I do see a therapist for my bipolar issues and I'm on medication for it. I guess I have trouble communicating. I didn't want to say anything about feeling empty to him because I didn't want him to worry. But I just feel blah. Like I'm indifferent. Like seeing him doesn't make me as happy as it used to. I usually end up sitting depressed feeling sorry for myself.

The whole feeling like my relationship is dying happened with my last boyfriend too and I eventually broke it off. That's why I'm scared it's happening here. I should note that this is a long distance relationship (NY to DE) and we just spent a week and a half straight together which we never do. That's when the fighting started. I guess I expect it to be exciting all the time and it just won't be.<br />
I do see a therapist for my bipolar issues and I'm on medication for it. I guess I have trouble communicating. I didn't want to say anything about feeling empty to him because I didn't want him to worry. But I just feel blah. Like I'm indifferent. Like seeing him doesn't make me as happy as it used to. I usually end up sitting depressed feeling sorry for myself.

Several things here. First of all, why are you scared that the relationship is dying? Is this normal with all your relationships? Does it always have to be exciting all the time, cause it won't be. Have you seen anyone about being bipolar? What's your cycle and do you recognize when you are "up" or "down"? Whatever's going on during the relationship you should always communicate with the other person. Me and my ex couldn't do that. We tried but just don't speak each other's language. When you guys do talk what kind of things do you say to him? I've not felt the way you do, but I have had problems communicating with girlfriends. Which is crazy since I used to be a counselor. When our emotions get involved it gets hard.<br />
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When you say empty feeling what do you mean? What kind of thoughts do you have and what kind of behaviors do you do about it?

Well I'm always afraid of getting that empty feeling when I'm in a relationship. Because I get scared that the relationship is dying. I got the same feeling with my last ex boyfriend, just earlier. It starts to feel not as exciting- I'm not as eager to see him etc. I am very insecure and at one point he made a cocky remark about his ex girlfriends, saying that every guy would think every one of them was hot. That pissed me off because having struggled with my self esteem (and I still am), I got through it by knowing that beauty is subjective and not everyone agrees. So him saying that offended me and created inner hostility that I still have. So that's mainly a big thing that I don't like about him. Maybe it sounds nuts or selfish. I'm not sure what I expect from the relationship. I'm only 22 so marriage is way far off. But I would like it to last for a while. I really care about him. When I'm not with him, I wish I were. I just am afraid that I ruined everything by being a jerk to him (I am bipolar so I get irritable really easily). It was just a really bad experience and I don't know what to do. I guess I should give him space and see how it goes when I see him again. I'm just so afraid he's going to end it. :(

I can understand where you're coming from, I think we've all been edgy and uncertain about our relationship. I think you should focus on you and dig into yourself to find out what is happening. Why are you edgy, what is your fear about being with this guy, is they anything about him you don't like, is it his behavior, what is your expectation from the relationship? Share a bit about yourself and where you're coming from so we can understand what's driving your behavior.