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Boyfriend Problems

i am recently having problems with my boyfriend. we have only been together 9 months and i am afraid that we are growing apart. he tells me that he doesn't feel that 'spark' anymore and i dont know what to do about it. i try to talk to him, but i'm not good at talking so it takes a while for me to get what i want out ... out. and hes a total ******* about it. he doesn't want to talk about it or anything. its like he doesn't want to help in any way, and i have no idea what else to do but leave for a litle while. and tomorrow that what i'm going to do... i'm going to go to my friends house after i leave work and stay there for a little while. my plan is to come home while he is gone and clean and do simple things just to make him appreciate me, but not be at home when he is... when he calls me i will play dumb and just talk about how much i am having fun and what i do that day... or lie about what i do that day, make everything be so great, and put him after friends and work like he does to me, instead of first like he should. and give him a taste of his own medicine in a way, but i will be a little worse. and i will do this until he tells me he wants me to come home and be with him. a little break might just be the best solution.

rebelwitacuz rebelwitacuz 16-18, F 5 Responses Mar 12, 2008

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I know when youre with someone it's really hard to just let go, you want to keep tryin. But if therres just nothing there anymore, youre only holding yourself back. You cant make someone like you. I say you take a break, and it'll eventually lead to you two moving on. Use your efforts for someone who wants it.

He said he does not feel the "spark" anymore, huh? Sounds like the beginning of the end to me. I am so sorry, Honey. You deserve honesty. I am thinking that I so very much value my Mom and another good friend to talk to. My boyfriend cares for me very much but is a neanderthal when it comes to emotional intelligence. Not only is he no support or comfort to me even when he is trying very hard but he is resistive to discussing anything that involves much emotion or conflict. Once again, I have to be the emotionally responsible one in this relationship. You may have to do what I do: sit down and write brief sc<x>ripts for yourself and his possible evasions and responses and tackle your relationship woes one at a time.<br />
Primarily: ask him if he wishes to continue in a relationship with you at all?<br />
how he wants the relationship to be?<br />
see if what you want out of this relationship is actually the same as what he wants.<br />
Tackle the next point of conflict in the relationship.<br />
Example: my bf thought that it is great if I sit and smile sweetly , buy food, cook and clean and help him with his cleaning projects while he feels free to lose his temper, yell and swear at me, and sit on his butt and watch sports. I do not live with him either-not even part time. Hah! NO. I confronted him on every single point and still do. He told me that I am ornery lately. What is wrong with me. Oh, yes, I kept him informed that he can expect more verbation. Straight up, no head games.

I can relate. I researched about how to understand my boyfriend more and I found this site. My beautiful distracton. <br />
http://bookofdistraction.blogspot.com/2010/10/ways-to-make-your-boyfriend-happy.html

yeah, I do the whole aloof thing when the guy im seeing annoys me .. pretend I've done something really fun, or that im busy and have lots of plans. I think it works short-term, but u can't escape the fact that if he's unhappy he's going to leave you. You havent done anything wrong, if he feels you're growing apart and youve done your best for him then he's ungreatful and doesn't deserve you. Its hard, im in the same situation. you just wanna keep trying.

well i think that is a good idea and a bad one you shouldn't completely ignore him and i think you should ask him to sit down and talk about it.(well that is what i think you should do anyways but you don't have to do what i say)