Long Distance And In Love? Help.

So I met my boyfriend online and I need help.

He lives in SCotland and I live in California. When we first emt and fell in love he had plans to move down here and everything was fine. And then he got testicular cancer, and he cant leave for medical reasons. I love him with all my heart, we're a perfect match and I decided to stick with him through the distance and the cancer. Treatment is taking ages longer than expected and it's making us both restless. We're unable to visit each other. We've been together 11 months now and only now this past month our relationships been really rocky. I discovered he had been emailing a bunch of girls, I read all the messages and they were all just game and he didnt even really talk back to any of them so I decided to take him back with much hesitation. Since then we've been a little rocky. At first it made us closer, he let me check up on him and he still does. But now I'm starting to feel really lonely and we talk less and less everyday. I find myself just sitting and crying I miss him so much. We both know if we could just be together everything would be fine and we'd be able to make it work. But we have no idea when we'll be able to be together.

I have no idea what to do. It has nothing to do with his personality, I love him and everything about him. We have the same values and morals and ideas for the future. We're alike but just different enough for it to be exciting, we totally compliment each other. But lately the communication just isnt there, we went to almost never fighting to fighting about petty stuff. Im miserable being alone but I dont want to leave him I love him. And with his cancer it'd kill me to not know how he's doing. I dont know what to do, this past month or two has been miserable. Im so lonely and were unable to talk at all lately. He seems like he's irritated a little lately by me and I'm not really feeling the love but he insists he just hasnt been feeling well. I told him I was considering breaking it off with him and it totally crushed him. He cried and cried, I know he loves me. We're not even an unhealthy couple thats constantly keeping tabs, we're really perfect. The distance is just getting to us?

But what to we do? We dont want other people, we cant do a break, we cant break up? What do I do? Can I fix this? 

zamarripa4 zamarripa4
2 Responses May 14, 2012

That happened to me once with an online love. After a while we started getting restless and let our emotions get the better of us. We'd be up all night fighting about nothing, literally nothing. He might give a look off camera and I'd start picking at him about it. The problem is that online can only last for so long, you need to see the real person after a while. <br />
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There is also a big risk for cheating online because once caught, people figure out methods to cheat with others where they cannot be caught. You never know if you are even the one he is cheating with!<br />
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Is it possible for you to arrange to visit there for a week in the summer? If it is you can bring a friend to meet him in person to make sure all goes smoothly. <br />
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I wish you the best in all of this, and just remember that sometimes even if you seem perfect for each other the distance may just get in between you.

Have you actually met this guy? Online is so risky! there are many precautions to take, there are many girls who have talked to guys for years online and the cold news is it rarely works out, it is not a bad thing to date around other men until you know for sure your scotish lad is legit