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Cross Roads

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now. He has always been my world. When he was at work I would count down the hours until I finally got to see him. We were the relationship our friends always wanted. We would always talk about our future together and one day getting married and having children. I am best friends with his sisters, his family and him are my life. A lot of my friends relationships would end after years of being together and I always thought, "how could that be? that would never happen to me and him " i just couldnt fathom the thought of us ever breaking up. Last summer I caught myself crushing on a co worker of mine and it really upset me but I did not act on it and after time the crush faded away. Now,I love my boyfriend so much but I worry that we are more of best friends than lovers. With my past boyfriends I would always be intimate and what now but I never feel like that with him. I was always just comfortable watching tv, playing video games or just cuddling the day away. Now he works different hours and I see him a lot less than I used to. If this was the case a few months ago I would not know what to do with myself and now I am fine with it. I guess I should also mention I met this other guy. This is the big issue at hand. I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM! The other man doesnt know that I have the feelings I do for him and I would NEVER ever cheat on my boyfriend or would do anything disrespectful to him but I feel like lately the only thing putting a smile on my face is when I see this other guy or when I get a text from him. When I am with the other guy I feel more like my old self, do crazy things and just be free but when I am with my boyfriend I feel like a 90 year old grandma sometimes. I never had a problem with things being like that with my boyfriend until now. Should I tell my boyfriend how I feel or will I just break his heart? Should I ask for a break? What if I got back with my boyfriend after the break would he be unsure of my love for him? I know what the simple solution is: If you love your boyfriend, which I do then stop talking to this other guy. But the other guy is who I look forward to talking to everyday how can I just drop him? I feel so selfish I just don't know what to do. I cant imagine being without my boyfriend. I think what i would really want is a break with my boyfriend to be young and clear my head and get back with my boyfriend. i know he is the one for me in the end but i dont know about right now. I SOUND SO STUPID I KNOW ughh suggestions please??!
ananomousss ananomousss 22-25, F 2 Responses May 27, 2012

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You shouldn't leave your boyfriend for another guy! After 2 and a-half years you guys are extremely right for each others. Right now, it might be tough at times, but just wait it out. Trust me, waiting for things to get better WILL be worth the wait.<br />
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If you go for the other guy, it's not going to be likely that you two will have a magnificent life together. With the boyfriend you have now, it's more than likely you two will grow old together and live the best life possible. I'm sure your boyfriend is dying inside about barely being able to see you, and you leaving him will totally break his heart.<br />
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If you feel old with your boyfriend, then do things that are exciting, and will make you feel young. You never know your boyfriend might want to do crazy things with you, but is just to scared to do them. You could take the first step and show him that it's okay to do whatever you feel like doing.<br />
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If you want, you should tell your boyfriend about your problems. Never keep things from your lover. I'm a boy and I always want my girlfriend to tell me the problems she is having, so I could help her with them. But, you need to do what's right for YOU. Don't let anything change the way you smile!<br />
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Hunter B.

Think about your future. Do you want to be a kid, or a grown up. 40 comes quicker than you know. If the new guy is a bad boy, you need to run the other direction. However, if the knew guy is a good guy, and doesn't pressure you and you feel comfortable with him, maybe he's the guy for you. But the problem obviously is with you and your boyfriend. The question is, what do you do? For now, I would see how your friendship with the other guy goes - slowly. You can't know someone until you've known them a long time. You can't give up your boyfriend for simply someone knew who makes you feel younger. I would say talk to your boyfriend about what you've been dealing with, and or get some counseling. But you need to resolve it - come to a real understanding - before you do anything rash. That can take time. Good luck,<br />
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Mike in California