Too Much Attention:

I have dated my bf for just about 2 years now. Our relationship has had its ups & it's downs but we have hung in there. Lately I feel very low about our love & lack there of. However I know I am at fault for why. I had recently been emotionally cheating on my bf with an ex strictly for the attention (all sexual desires had been filled by my bf) & he found out. It crushed him & I even left the state & his home to go back to my parents. We worked through things enough to know we still want to be together & mend our relationship. It's been a good amount of time now and I am back living with him. When I first got here we were so in love and he would want to be physical a lot & not just sex just loving on me. He was kissing me and hugging me a lot. But all of a sudden it's stopped. He doesn't kiss me before he leaves for the day or when he comes home anymore. Last night was the first time in almost 2 weeks he even attempted to cuddle me while we slept. But I couldn't sleep, I lay there n cried myself to sleep just soaking in how good him touching me felt. It's been weeks since we've had sex & I would feel unsexy if I felt it was something physically wrong with me. But I still catch him looking while I change. So I'm just very unsure to why we aren't physical & what I could have possibly done wrong & what I can do to fix things..?

Please help with any insight you may have or any suggestions. I don't where else to turn & I am exhausted from being depressed about this for the past few weeks
RyanKris RyanKris
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

Hoping things r better for u Hun. If not, my insights: I was distant with my BF when he told me he still thought about his ex. First things that went though my mind was, I'm not good enough, he still loves her, etc. When u feel a sense of betrayal, you pull away. I was bitchy, moody and depressed for months after.
But here's the silver lining, I got over it. Realized how much he loves me and that thoughts about exes are natural. He may come around, give it time. But not too much time bc that would be a sign of him falling out of love with u. Good luck

I think he is attracted to you. But I know that men when cheated on even the way you said feel in some way that they are inaddiquite. Forgive my spelling. I was cheated on in both ways cause my wife wanted a baby so badly. I still am not intimate and its been years. I hope you can both work through it.

What I can't come to understand is he & I were intimate after I cheated & now things have stopped.. Why now? Why now from the start?

Why not from the start*

It could be he suspects you are doing it again. Or that he has pressure from an outside source a friend or relative in his ear telling him to leave. Or the other possibility is he is considering cheating on you. Hopefully that isn't it, but watch for new coworkers he might be physically attracted to, or even a mutual friend of you both that has secretly wanted to be with him. Or worse yet a sibling. You need to do things to remind him of the happy times. Or be spontanious like a bj out of the blue in public. Hope it helps.

I have asked & asked & no one has been able to help me in the way you have, thank you so much. I'll let you know how it goes.

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