Internet Dating Is Strange

I am very new to the Internet dating source.

I was married to a very wonderful man for many years and then his time was up and passed away. It was a very hard reality to know he was gone, because of our bonding friendship and yes, love.

My daughter became very concerned about me. I would not socialize with anyone. I still taught my classes on Ancient Religion, went to the store for needed items and visited with her daily. If we were out and about and a man would talk to us, I became ice and would not communicate in any form. I had been asked out on a few occasions, but turned them down.

My daughter then decided to post a profile on a dating site. I was getting several emails and was reluctant to answer any of them, because I was not interested in dating. I deleted the profile and made my own. It simply said I was interested in corresponding with others, but was not looking for romance. I started getting emails and they still were from those looking for a soul mate, romance or their next wife. Then a very interesting email came through.

It was a man who was friendly, well educated and interesting. We emailed back and fourth for about a month and then he requested to meet me. I felt there was no harm in meeting him. It would be nice to put a "real" person behind our so many emails. I let him know it was a "meeting" and not a date.

We set up a time and place and I told him my 28 year old daughter would be coming along. We were meeting in a book store. I received a last minute email from him saying he did not want to meet me with someone else coming along. I thought I had hurt his feelings and I told him it was about Internet safety and just being cautious with a first meeting. This really good friend just decided not to email again.

If I had to do everything all over again, I still would not have met him alone even if it was a public place. Maybe I was wrong and he was right, but I just felt uneasy about it.

Now, I avoid all Internet dating sites of any sort and feel it is just too unsafe. People can be anyone they wish to be and never worry about the word "honest". I am not really sure if it is even for those who are looking for love. I would think friendship should come first, but these sites seem to zoom right to "date" and forget the "who you really are" avenue.

journalwriter journalwriter
51-55, F
2 Responses Feb 27, 2010

Journalwriter, I totally agree with your statement that friendship should come first! As a man, I have been in dating situations - online and otherwise - that were vaguely like yours, but with the genders reversed. I have had women who barely knew me, want to jump into a romance without taking the time and effort to build a friendship first and try to learn things about me and my past. (One woman I met recently dropped hints about sex, on our first date...ugh...) VERY frustrating! I feel very alone in being someone who wants to start with a friendship, and build slowly from there.<br />
<br />
BTW, my condolences on the loss of your husband. As mentioned in the story I posted in this group, I'm back in the dating scene because of losing my GF to brain cancer...

i agree. therez alota crazy SICK people out there.<br />
and yea he must of had some bad intentions under his sleeve since it bothered him SO much that your daughter was going with you. 'guess he wasn't who he said he was... smh - . -<br />
they use the computer screen as a mask to hide their true colors.