First Comes Love, Then Heart Break, Then A Miscarriage

I was 14 when i met the one guy i thought i would be with forever, and yes i know 14 is young but this was different. He was the only person who could make me smile no matter what and he was the first guy i ever felt comfortable with. We were together for almost two year then hell started to rain down. We had been fine, had never fought until everything around us changed and our circle of friends was made to change. After months of being ignored and pushed aside i finally turned to someone i thought would help me feel better, but i ended up being taken advantage of and convinced i should let them kiss my sorrows away. I hid the secret from my love but it was too much to hide even with the pain he was still causing me. I told him what had happened and he was okay he understood until he talked it over with his new attraction. She must have convinced him it was his way out because the next week he left me. I was heart broken and didn't know what to do so i began looking for another person to help me through the pain i carried. I found him and he was not a good choice but he showed me what i thought was love. He was nice to me and sweet but it didn't take long for him to decide he wanted more than a sweet relationship. I gave him what he wanted and if i didn't i would regret it. He was abusive in every way possible and i couldn't do anything about it because i was still heart broken and needed a distraction. I let him be in charge of me for almost a year, through bruise, and broken bone, and eventually a miscarriage that was caused not by his hand but by the stress of what he could do. After he found out i lost "his" baby he was angrier than before and he showed me. It took another six months before i found someone who could save me from him and show me real love again. But even today almost four years after my heart break i still think about him everyday and i miss him. I'm engaged, and i still hold onto the relationships i let go of and the relationships i could have been in if i would have never had my heart broken at such a young age. I still love 3 of you from my past, and i would give anything to let go of it. One was a first love, one was a best friend, and one was a savior who i miss only because you were the best i ever had. -Forever & Always.
IvyM IvyM
18-21, F
Sep 12, 2012